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Polocrunch
My best archaic insult so far is:

"May your crops fail and your wives be barren!"


Any more for any more?
CommieBastard
The joys of threads arising from MSN.

My sister calls people "wench", I quite like that.
FurryMammal
crone, or failing that, hideous crone
Logicman
Or, failing THAT, hideous crone of a wench.
monkey_called_narth
heh "may you die a thousand deaths and your children be barren" i kinnda liked that one
Polocrunch
You cumurring cretin!
Mr Fuzzy
I've always liked calling people 'Sluggardly gullion' myself - it never fails to confuse 'em!
Oni Usagi
QUOTE (Polocrunch @ Sep 3 2003, 05:08 PM)
"May your crops fail and your wives be barren!"

Isn't that more of a curse than an insult?
CovertYawn
"Begone from my presence foul villain!" - not really much of an insult I admit.

This one isn't an insult at all, but kinda fits... "Is that a murkin or are you just pleased to see me?"
vicrawr
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your lower reigons.
Weary Traveler
hehe.. the whore game. think up as many synonymes as possible for the word whore. Which include,

Wench
corner worker
harlot
tart
street walker

and many others... takes up to 30 minutes to play if both people are good.
Rattgirl
QUOTE (IrishGuy @ Sep 3 2003, 06:27 PM)
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your lower reigons.

LMAO you stole mine you evil boi!! of course, mine was going to say "your armpits" but yours has a more....indelicate flair... touche.


I've always been fond of archaic language...hrmmm where'd my favorite archaic insult go? Oh there it is!

"I find thy face apelike and thy form misshapen. Thy beard, moreover, is an offense against decency, resembling more closely the scabrous fur which doth decorate the hinder portion of a mongrel dog than a proper adornment for a human face. Is it possible that thy mother, seized by some wild lechery, did dally at some time past with a randy goat?"


hehehehehe....I love Mandorallen....
kidvicious2punk
"may your neibor have much woopie with your wife and may your pants be barren"

..... blink.gif laugh.gif
Feyliya
Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries!!!
LoLo
You son of a motherless goat! (stolen from the 3 amigos) lol
Pab
QUOTE (LoLo @ Sep 4 2003, 05:16 AM)
You son of a motherless goat!  (stolen from the 3 amigos) lol

Lets not forget "you scum-sucking pig" ...

- Definitely a curse, not an insult: "May you have an interesting life" , which just gets nastier and nastier the more you look at it, trust me ...

- And a favorite of an Australian ex-boss of mine (he actually told the bank this!):

"You suck the puss off a dead dingos bollocks"

... which might not be archaic, but if delivered correctly it'll make your watch stop.

G'day!
Polocrunch
ok, let's try to remember what archaic means, shall we?

Loose-legged wenches.
Logicman
QUOTE (Feyliya @ Sep 3 2003, 10:06 PM)
Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries!!!

Aw, I was gonna say that! I fart in your general direction!
CommieBastard
QUOTE (Goddess of Wheee @ Sep 4 2003, 02:51 AM)
"I find thy face apelike and thy form misshapen. Thy beard, moreover, is an offense against decency, resembling more closely the scabrous fur which doth decorate the hinder portion of a mongrel dog than a proper adornment for a human face. Is it possible that thy mother, seized by some wild lechery, did dally at some time past with a randy goat?"

I love those books! And, by extension, you! Yay!
Logicman
Commie, are you systematically falling for every female on this site?
CommieBastard
QUOTE (Logicman @ Sep 4 2003, 09:26 PM)
Commie, are you systematically falling for every female on this site?

They all keep proving their wonderfulness, one after the other biggrin.gif
Logicman
Fine, just leave mine alone...
CommieBastard
QUOTE (Logicman @ Sep 4 2003, 09:35 PM)
Fine, just leave mine alone...

I can't help it, I'm beating them off with a stick.
Logicman
Oh, and I'm not?
CommieBastard
QUOTE (Logicman @ Sep 4 2003, 09:39 PM)
Oh, and I'm not?

You can borrow my stick if you want.
FurryMammal
i got all the belgariad and all the malloreon for a fiver. best fiver ever, i think. then i spent a few days systematically picking them off one by one from my bookshelf.

hurrah.
Logicman
No no, I prefer to make physical contact as I beat them off. blink.gif biggrin.gif
Feyliya
QUOTE (Goddess of Wheee @ Sep 4 2003, 02:51 AM)
"I find thy face apelike and thy form misshapen. Thy beard, moreover, is an offense against decency, resembling more closely the scabrous fur which doth decorate the hinder portion of a mongrel dog than a proper adornment for a human face. Is it possible that thy mother, seized by some wild lechery, did dally at some time past with a randy goat?"


hehehehehe....I love Mandorallen....

It took me a half an hour to get back to the book after reading that. Every time I'd start to read again I'll get a glimpse of that quote and keel over laughing again!
Righteous
I've always liked, "Step aside, thou animated offal."
Monkey the Rabid Red Rabbit
How about "Spoony Bard"? I know a girl who had some trepidation about being a bard in D&D because she didn't want to be called that.
WeeJ
"may you turn orange in hue"

"I bite my thumb at you sir" (From Romio and Juliet)
Polocrunch
Avast ye poxy whore!
nordelen
"the pustuals(sp) on your wreched face make that of an old crone look possitively hansome!"
Mata
QUOTE (WeeJ @ Sep 7 2003, 11:28 AM)
"I bite my thumb at you sir" (From Romio and Juliet)

-Do you bite your thumb at me sir?

-I do bite my thumb at you.

-DO YOU BITE YOUR THUMB AT ME sir?

I was going to use that one!

Okay, more Shakespeare for you "Thou earth-vexing horn-beast!" That one came from a random Shakespearean insult generator a friend of mine once had linked up to his email topics!
Juiceisgood
I had to do that scene infront of my class a few weeks ago. And I think it's different than what you put but I don't remember... But it's the equivilant of the middle finger in 14th century Verona.

*bites thumb at everyone* Take that tongue.gif
Rattgirl
QUOTE (FurryMammal @ Sep 4 2003, 03:42 PM)
i got all the belgariad and all the malloreon for a fiver. best fiver ever, i think. then i spent a few days systematically picking them off one by one from my bookshelf.

hurrah.

...this is why I love my n00b wub.gif

And Commie too wink.gif I say...you should make it to the US for the Central meet next spring. I really do. *nodnod*

Along with EVERYONE ELSE in the UK....*whistles innocently happy.gif
Rattgirl
QUOTE (Mata @ Sep 9 2003, 05:16 AM)
QUOTE (WeeJ @ Sep 7 2003, 11:28 AM)
"I bite my thumb at you sir" (From Romio and Juliet)

-Do you bite your thumb at me sir?

-I do bite my thumb at you.

-DO YOU BITE YOUR THUMB AT ME sir?

I was going to use that one!

Okay, more Shakespeare for you "Thou earth-vexing horn-beast!" That one came from a random Shakespearean insult generator a friend of mine once had linked up to his email topics!

-Do you bite your thumb at me, sir?

-I do not bite my thumb at you.

-DO YOU BITE YOUR THUMB AT ME SIR?

-I DO BITE MY THUMB SIR, BUT I DO NOT BITE MY THUMB AT YOU SIR!


everyone forgets that line tongue.gif
Jaq
QUOTE (Weary Traveler @ Sep 3 2003, 05:41 PM)
hehe.. the whore game. think up as many synonymes as possible for the word whore. Which include,

Wench
corner worker
harlot
tart
street walker

and many others... takes up to 30 minutes to play if both people are good.

seamstress (hem hem, hem hem)
MandM
Although not archaic, I love the following. The first often leaves the recipient puzzled while the second, which is a response to an insult thrown at you, creates the initial thought that you agree with the insult only to......

"When you get home, may your mother run out from under the porch and bite you"

" Your right, I am an asshole". "The real problem is that I have put up with the pain of you haemorrhoids"
bryden42
"Plebian", Archaic form of peasant.
"Sir Lackbeard" Immature/Young lifted from Much ado about nothing

on the whore synonym front
Harlot
lady of the night
woman of ill virtue/repute
Scarlet woman
hussey

Of course I prefer playing the synonym game with the word vomit. This one lasted for hours on a car journey once.
Pikasyuu
i'm surprised nobody ever tried 'disgusting slattern'
Sir Psycho Sexy
'Your mom's so fat...' jokes are pretty old these days, right?
Pikasyuu
like 1990's, yeah.
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