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phoenix
we all pretty much consider the year to two age difference as appropiate. but what about older as in a lot. i have a lady at my work who keeps trying to set me up with her brother (who i might add is 36 and i'm only nearly 19), and i have an older man in a few of my art classes who seems to be interested in me. i tell them that the age difference bothers me but all they say is 'age is only a number', or something else like that. i personally find it inappropiate of them to make advances like this, but is it? what do you think?
magikeyes14
i think that age difference doesnt matter MUCH... but a HUGE age difference (like 36 and 19) is wrong..like, i think a guy and gurl that are like 14 and 19 can be together.. or like 21 and 30 maybe.. but something like 19 and 36 is just wrong to me.... i dont really know.. it confuses me how often my opinion on age difference changes... sorry if that didnt help
phoenix
oh believe me its almost creepy, but they are really great guys, but why don't they try and find someone closer to their ages. i mean yeah i can be a little mature for my age, that still isn't an excuse. but this is just my view and i wanted to see what you guys think.

i prefere to date guys who are 17-20(21), but like most things i will have extreme cases. but my limits for my age now, are no more than 4-5 years older and no more than 2 years younger.
Righteous
I don't really see a big deal in ages. I had a girlfriend who was 14 when I was 17 and my last girlfriend is two years younger than me. My parents are ten years apart and my older sister and her boyfriend are 11 years apart. I think its more a question of maturity and I think a lot of people take age a little too seriously. It's one thing if the chick's 19 and the dude's in his 70s (but hey, to each his own), but I tried to hook up with my sister's friend who's 21. It was okay for us to mess around, but she can't actually date an 18-year-old. That's a bit immature, don't you think? How ironic...
oxym0ronical
My parents are 13 years apart. My brother and his new wife are 15 years apart. I have friends who have been married for ten years. Their age difference is 25 years. Age really is a number, once the people are both legal adults. A lot of it depends on how emotionally mature a person is.

As far as dating when one (or both) of them is under 18, in my state, there's an allowance for 4 years' difference after the age of 16. I think that's generally a good outline, but obviously there are problems. I'd have extreme issues if a 17 year old was dating a 13 year old.
porcelainwarrior
i tend to agree with oxy on this. my aunts both married men older than them (13 and 17 years respectively) and its never been a problem. but on the other hand it would have been a problem had they met when my aunts were my age and not legally adult (by this i mean over 18 years).

my current boyfriend is three years older than me and it might not seem like a lot and the difference doesnt really bother us cause i can be mature for my age and...well...he can be immature (gav you tell him i kill you tongue.gif) but a few people have commented on it, namely my mum and my oldest male cousin (who unfortunately went into my bag for a lighter and found condoms last night but thats another story).

i dont really have a limit thing set to age though. i dont think id date a much younger guy cause frankly the ones my age a too young as it is. but once someones matured i dont think they really change all that much so dating someone older than me wouldnt really bother me.

there is however a group of guys at my school all aged 17 who are all currently after or dating 14 year old girls. that is wierd. ewwwww....these girls used to play with my little sister at m,y house and now theyre dating my peers. not right.
Fallen Element
well porce, i may hold this against ye now! hehehehehe, the power, the power!

i dont see much wrong with age gaps, as long as its not absurd age gaps like 19 and 50, that be weird. you couldnt call my last relationship a relationship really, unless relationships last about an hour, ahem... but there was an age difference of about 15 years... i dunno, never really asked! ph34r.gif i dont see anything wrong as long as no one gets hurt and everything is nearly legal! i say nearly legal.... ahem again!

mwah to ye all! scarves will take over the world and you will learn to love them as your babies!

Fal xXx
ravein
well... there is 25 years between my parents... there are some issues just as far as life styles are concerned.. When I was born.. my father was 50 and my mom 25. We had effectively 3 generations growing up together in the same house. So yeah.. there was some tension. Just in general.. a 35 year old man is going to have different goals than a 19 year old woman. Personally I don't think it is to big of a deal as long as everyone goes in with the understanding that something's will be different for each person. Age does cause issues... if you looking at a long term relationship. Now my mom is 53 and my dad 78.. his health is failing and mom is in the prime of her life, but she has to take care of my dad. The way I see it relationships are about sacrifice... if your willing to make some and take some then go for it..
Pab
I'm over 30, but not 36, oh no! and I'd say that a 36 year-old guy hitting on a 19 girl is likely to be aiming for something other than her personality and is trying for early admission to the 'dirty-old-man' club. 2 peeps in a relationship might hope for it to work IF they share a farely large amount of fundamental goals and thaught processes, as has been mentioned .... For this to be so between 36 and 19 would be 'exceptional' by which I mean 'very sodding unlikely indeed' ... vade retro porky.

Btw, 36-19 sounds wrong ... 42-25 less so and yet it is the same age gap .... The same couple would then be 82-65 which would be a serious bummer for the younger one, who would be looking after an ooooooold person, and looking for a new life at an age where stuff is against you... messy business age gaps ...
Jonman
Once everyone's out of their teenage years, it's irrelevant really. I'm the youngest guy my girlfriend's been with, and that continues to freak her out. But she's the youngest (as in years difference) that I've been with. And yet I'm 3 years older than her. Work that one out if you can.


*sings*
"Age ain't nuttin' but a number bay-beeee"
oobunnie
I dunno I dont mush see anything wrong with age difference, When I was 18 I dated a guy that was 29 and it didnt really bother me much.

I'd say its mostly personal to each person. Myself I dont find a 35 year old guy hitting on me wrong or strange or what not, yet a 40 year old guy seems creepy... Especially if they are wearing a business suit for some reason.
VVes
I think someone mentioned this already, if both parties are legal adults anywhere in the world, the sky is the limit.

This is purely your view on this and quite respectable, you are after all the one they want.

There is no "appropriateness" to age gaps really. Just say that it's not your cup of tea and move on.

But, please don't judge them harshly for finding you interesting and or attractive.

What if when you're 36, you fall for a 19 year old studling, then what would people think about you?

See, it can be different for either gender.

Best of luck, and enjoy everyones company, regardless of the age. We all have something to contribute. Age does not necessarily contribute to our personality!

rolleyes.gif
F-T-S_DRuMMeR
i don't think ages matters but then again most of the girls i've like had be 2 years older then me and i've never had a g/f maybe thats why or i'm just ugly
phoenix
i don't know, yes i'm over the legal age limit and so forth, and i he is a decently nice guy, don't get me wrong on that, but like someone mentioned about the dirty old man club, i'm not sure if thats what i'd be used for or not. i like my little safty bubble of age gaps, the smaller the better. of course my view is most likly to change with experience, but as a teenager still, i'm personally ready for that jump. maybe once i get a few more years behide me i could.
Jaq
I agree with what Jonman said. Once you're out of your teens it's pretty much fair game. However before then people are maturing at such a rapid rate that even a three or four year difference could make for a very odd relationship. We all know that the difference b/t a 4 year old and a 9 year old is huge and I think that the difference between a 14 year old and a 19 year old is equally huge. They're at different stages in their life, one in junior high or high school and the other finished high school, probably moved away from home and working or going to post secondary school. They're from two different situations and to think that they would have very much in common would be fooling yourself. Now, if it were a 24 year old and a 29 year old it would be completely different. Most people wouldn't see much difference b/t the 24 and the 29 year old and with good reason. They've both had around the same life experiences, they're both considered by society to be adults and they both act and live like young adults.

It really doesn't matter what your age is, it's more your situation and your maturity, but your age is usually a pretty good indicator of both.
DocBrown1985
my friends anfd i have tlaked about this repeaed ly and we have decided that 15 years is about the maxium age difference before it just gets wierd. no offence to anyone who is in a 15+ age differance relationship, but personally i am looing for someone who is at or around the same experiance level i am. I would say maturity level but anyone who knows me would say my age and my maturity ( or lack of it ) have nothing in common. Anyway,im pretty sure i coudent get in a relationship now with someone 10 years older than me. Right now a 29 year old would have much different relationship goals than i would. Such as marriage and children. I am by no means ready for all of that, i want to live out my twenties like the kid i am.
One more point. Age differences get creepy when parters substitute thier significant other for a parentail figure. ever seen that drew carry where he dates the older woman? yea. call me whatever name you want.. still creepy to me.
sammi
I don't know... I'm kind of mixed on this matter, partially because I'm still only 14. So that contributes to my answer a bit, and maybe you'll find it a little idiotic, I don't know. I think that once you're both out of your teens, it's not nearly as bad as when you're in them - being a legal adult helps I'm sure. But then again, I'm not out of my teens yet (so I wouldn't know). However, I don't feel like if I were, say, 21, I would want to date a 40-year-old. To mean, that's just too huge of a difference. I have no problem with 10 or 15 years max., but beyond that just seems a a teeeeny bit odd. blink.gif It depends on the situation, people involved and their relationship. Varies from time to time.

I do agree with what VVes was saying though, about the whole older person's position vs. the younger person's position, because sometimes society views that as if the younger is being "taken advantage of". With consent, I don't see much of any problem with age gaps. I hate to say it, but age is just a number, isn't it? huh.gif
Val
I've got a similar issue going in. I know this 29 year old guy who is interested in me. I really liked him, too but when i found out about his age it became a little different. I still like him, but the age gap a little bit worries me. I am 18, and gonna be 19 in a few weeks. Even though he is 29 he looks much much younger. 10 year age gap is big, so i dont know what to do...
Calantyr
The only thing that should matter are your romantic feelings towards them. If you like the way they look, act, their maturity/immaturity, I don't really see the issue. Except if they are underage, naturally.

However I'm a tad hypocritical. I'm bloody immature, and so I have trouble dating women who are younger than me. It's sort of a mental block "If I'm this dumb at my age, and they're younger, trouble lays ahead."

No, it probably doesn't make make much sense.
Mata
10 years is quite a lot, but it does get less quite fast. 25 and 35 isn't so bad. Personally, if I were single, I'd struggle dating anyone less than university-leaving age - it would just seem a bit wrong. I'm 30, and I'd say that around 22 would be as young as I'd date. Naturally, that could become completely irrelevant if I met a wonderful 20 year old, but I think I'd hesitate.

The sort-of-standard equation of age difference is that you take your age, half it, and add seven. You shouldn't date anyone who is younger than that number. It's a pretty reasonable guide, because it shows how age matters less as you get older.
Radaga
I take my age, half it, round up, and add 2 as minimal, and add 4 as optimum

that would be 19-21 for me, right now tongue.gif but every rule does have exceptions, sometimes.
pgrmdave
That is a bit low for me...I'm 21, and that would yield 13 minimal, 15 optimum. With me, it really depends on the individual. I've met some 16 year olds who are mature enough that I could see myself dating them, and many who are not mature enough.
Radaga
Yep, it is not an universal rule, when I was 28, was half plus 4 and plus 6 (18-20)

24, the first time I set this rule, was half plus 5 and plus 8 (17-20)

before that, I dated a 17, going on 18 and then 19 yr old girl. I was 22-23-24, then.

perhaps when I turn 40, would be half, plus nothing as minimal and plus 6 as ideal... who knows wink.gif
Ashbless
It's changed as I've gotten older. The thought of dating someone 10 years older would've really given me serious thought when I was 19. Now that I'm in my thirties the thought of a fellow in his forties isn't so strange. Don't think I'd date younger than 5 years or so. When I was 19 I wouldn't consider anyone younger than myself at all. biggrin.gif So I suppose that's changed as well.
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