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CommieBastard
There is no easy way for me to say this, but it has to be said.


Dayan Francis Rowlands, known here as Debaser, died on Saturday 22nd November.

The cause of death, it grieves me to say, was apparently suicide. I hate so much to be the bearer of bad news to you all, but I have to tell you.

For those of us who are able and wish to attend, the funeral will be on Monday. Please contact me for details.

This touches all of us, and my thoughts are with those of us who knew him well.

I'm so sorry.
Prince Aries
I know many of us are going to have a really hard time dealing with this. But the most important thing for us...is to be there for each other.

I'm going to miss you Dayan. You were indeed, one of the greatest people on this forum, on the web, and in life.

I'm going to have to post this later. I can't.
ravein
This BETTER NOT BE A JOKE!!!!!
WTF..........
Cath Sparrow
There is nothing I can can say to this. It's terrible my sympathy goes to all his friends and family.
CommieBastard
QUOTE (ravein @ Nov 25 2003, 06:37 PM)
This BETTER NOT BE A JOKE!!!!!
WTF..........

It's not. I'm so sorry.

And Cath, thank you for your sympathy. This is very hard for all of us - I appreciate it.
Oni Usagi
Well, I guess that answers where he's been. Can't say I like the answer. It's kinda hard to take in y'know. I, just can't think of much to say other than I'm sorry. sad.gif
ravein
does anyone know what happened?
Phyllis
Oh my god.

I don't even know what to say.

I just....am beyond words right now. He was such a good friend to me...always comforted me no matter what was happening in his own life...and I can't think of any words to describe how much that always meant.

I have to go.
CommieBastard
QUOTE (Oni Usagi @ Nov 25 2003, 06:46 PM)
Well, I guess that answers where he's been. Can't say I like the answer. It's kinda hard to take in y'know. I, just can't think of much to say other than I'm sorry. sad.gif

I know what you mean, Oni. It just doesn't sink in at first.
Prince Aries
love you dayan. wherever you are out there. thanks for making me smile. thanks for understanding. thanks for always being there. thank you for being...well you. i'm going to miss you, more then you'll know.
karismaklysm
as someone with no words, but an unexplainable heaviness about all this... i have nothing but to offer someone else's thoughts for this sweet kid...

He had the gift
of stopping time
& listening well
so that it was easy
to hear who
we could become

& that was the future
he held safe
for each of us
in his great heart

you may ask, what now?
& I hope you understand
when we speak softly
among ourselves
& do not answer
just yet

for our future
is no longer the same
without him

I held him close for only a short time, but after he was gone, I'd see his smile on the face of a perfect stranger & I knew he would be there with me all the rest of my days.

The day he first told me he was starting to disappear I didn't believe him & so he stopped & held his hand up to the sun & it was like thin paper in the light & finally I said you seem very calm for a man who is disappearing & he said it was a relief after all those years of trying to keep the pieces of his life in one place. Later on, I went to see him again & as I was leaving, he put a package in my hand. This is the last piece of my life, he said, take good care of it & then he smiled & was gone & the room filled with the sound of the wind & when I opened the package there was nothing there & I thought there must be some mistake or maybe I dropped it & I got down on my hands & knees & looked until the light began to fade & then slowly I felt the pieces of my life fall away gently & suddenly I understood what he meant & I lay there for a long time crying & laughing at the same time.

-brian andreas...
CommieBastard
The funeral is on Monday - if anyone wishes to send flowers, a letter or similar, PM me and I will give you my address. I'll see that anything you send gets there.
Sun Tsu
Oh my God. I'm speechless. I mean, he was one of the greatest friends I ever had. He was always so funny and helped me through so much in my life. I don't think i've ever met as geuinely as good of a person as him. I loved him, and he changed my life. R.I.P, I'll never forget him....
WeeJ
There's nothing I can say. Dayan was a close friend to all of us.
ravein
it just hurts my heart... there was not a nicer guy... when he bought the glass eye off ebay he made my month... I hate this... I hate this so much.....
we just have to be there for each other... this is the time when friends hold friends.. even if you have to hold them over bandwidth..... there was not a nicer, funnier guy.... I love him....
WeeJ
I can't believe this. He was my friend. Why didn't I know he felt like this?
Starfish
I didn't know Dayan, but my heart goes out to him, his family, and all his friends here. I know there is nothing I can say to comfort those who are grieving now, but know you are in my thoughts, as is Dayan. My deepiest sympathies to you all. If I can do anything for anyone, please let me know.
FurryMammal
jesus sweet mary mother of all that is unholy. thats not right.
CommieBastard
QUOTE (WeeJ @ Nov 25 2003, 07:52 PM)
I can't believe this. He was my friend. Why didn't I know he felt like this?

Talk to anyone who knew a suicide. Nobody ever expects it. You never think they could do something like that. None of us had any idea.
Sun Tsu
QUOTE (CommieBastard @ Nov 25 2003, 07:54 PM)
QUOTE (WeeJ @ Nov 25 2003, 07:52 PM)
I can't believe this. He was my friend. Why didn't I know he felt like this?

Talk to anyone who knew a suicide. Nobody ever expects it. You never think they could do something like that. None of us had any idea.

I know that.....it just upsets me that I did'nt see any signs of depression, or that I did'nt act on any in time....
Mingtea
sad.gif

I really don't know what to say.
CrissiLove
There are no words in the world to express how horrible this is. I am sorry for Dayan, his family, and friends....
MeirdBen
I don't really know what to say... I'm new here so i didnt really know him but that doesnt stop me from being upset... All my love goes to his freinds and family.

R.I.P Dayan


Ben
spiffilicious05
ohmy.gif sad.gif .....I can't believe it....


I don't want to believe it....

I'm so sorry
CommieBastard
QUOTE (MeirdBen @ Nov 25 2003, 08:07 PM)
I don't really know what to say... I'm new here so i didnt really know him but that doesnt stop me from being upset... All my love goes to his freinds and family.

R.I.P Dayan


Ben

Thank you for the sentiment, Ben. I speak for all of us when I say it's appreciated.
acidteardrop
i...i...i just dont know.

what to say? what to do? i hardly knew him but i knew him enough. he seemed like such a fun guy...i dont see...why did he do it? what was wrong? f--k, i should have known him better. i should have let him know that i am here for him. im here for all of you...i hate it when people die, especially a friend. im sorry for...i...

f--k, i hardly knew him, and yet here i am, crying my ass off because i loved him. i love all of you, your all just so great. its such a shock...he didnt seem like that kind of person at all...

if anyone needs someone to talk to i am always here for all of you. my thoughts are with you, Dayan...i hope you find solace in death, indeed that is the best anyone can wish you now.


im curious as to why? how did he do it? what was the reason? does anyone know?
porcelainwarrior
i dont really know what else to add to this...ive been speaking to his dads friends and partner...if anyone wants anything passed on i dont mind and im sure sean doesnt either...

i feel really bad about asking this right now...but if anyone spoke to him on saturday night after 11ish itd be good to know...how he was and stuff...his parents really want answers...but so do all of us i guess
Polocrunch
I just want to say: I know how upset we all are, and how much we empathise with Dayan's friends and family. I'm really proud of how this forum has finally come together like this. Everyone has shown so much maturity and kind-heartedness that I am genuinely surprised, and very pleased. Please, anyone who has anything on their mind, do come forward. Let us help you - everyone has shown how much they care. I don't think anyone wants another forumite to die like this. We're on the Internet, so feel free to express yourself in anonymity. I know this may sound naive and overly-optimistic, but we must be here for each other. Too many people have said how much they wish they could have done more. This is a sincere plea, so that no-one ever has to resort to suicide again, and so that we never have to go through another terrible occasion such as this.

Once more, my commiserations to Dayan's friends and family.
Sir Psycho Sexy
I only met Dayan once, in Birmingham, since then I always considered him a close friend, I'm pretty sure he felt the same about me, we were supposed to go to California together for the west coast meet, I'll still be going, but I just won't be the same...... sad.gif
Prince Aries
QUOTE (Polocrunch @ Nov 25 2003, 02:29 PM)
I just want to say: I know how upset we all are, and how much we empathise with Dayan's friends and family. I'm really proud of how this forum has finally come together like this. Everyone has shown so much maturity and kind-heartedness that I am generally surprised, and very pleased. Please, anyone who has anything on their mind, do come forward. Let us help you - everyone has shown how much they care. I don't think anyone wants another forumite to die like this. We're on the Internet, so feel free to express yourself in anonymity. I know this may sound naive and overly-optimistic, but we must be here for each other. Too many people have said how much they wish they could have done more. This is a sincere plea, so that no-one ever has to resort to suicide again, and so that we never have to go through another terrible occasion such as this.

Once more, my commiserations to Dayan's friends and family.

Well said, Polos. Well fucking said, mate. Cheers.

And SPS, you bring up another point. The West Coast Meet is just not going to be the same. But,he'll be there in spirit.
porcelainwarrior
ok, f**k it...i cant be ok with this...i cant be calm here, i did it for his parents cause i wanted to help as best i could...i cant believe whats happened, im in complete shock and have been since i found out.

i loved dayan to death, we had our ups and downs but he was always there for me in the end. no matter what i did to him and i know i hurt him...too much...i hate the fact that i spoke to him hours before he killed himself and didnt notice a thing, i just babbled on about normal, everyday things and my only thought of concern was that he was stressing too much about his girlfriend.

sorry but thats my rant over

im going to call his parents again and (at the request of mata) find out his address and whether or not they want flowers or donations to charity so anyone who wants this information please pm me in the next couple of days...
VVes
I am in shock.

My deepest sympathies to his friends and family.

I only regret not having the chance to have known him better.

Hugsss all...

~~~

Where ever you are D... we miss you sooo much... sad.gif

~~~

I'm so sorry...
MistressAlti
No... no... no... Dayan...
DarkProtector
I didn't know him that well but I loved him and I love all of you. If anyone needs semi-professional counseling YIM me Please. I'll talk to you and help you through this.
CommieBastard
I have to details of where to send flowers, and the details of the funeral. At the request of his family, I cannot post them here, but please PM me if you want them.
WeeJ
Not long got off the phone to Leo amongst other people.
I think everyone's just in a state of shock right now.
Puts your whole life into perspective.

How did we not know? mad.gif
monkey_called_narth
ive finally calmed down a little and i dont know what to say i just want him to come back and everything to be ok. all we ever did was fight. i dont knwo what to say.
acidteardrop
i just got done talking to kevin. He said he was really sorry..and that he regrets not getting the opportunity to apologize. they had their differences but i think inside Kevin and Dayan did like eachother, and did want to get along. Kevin is as hurt as we are. there, you all have it. Kevin LIKES dayan. even kevin feels it, we are all affected by dayans death. we miss you dayan, and i love you.
gerbilfromhell
he was an amazing person. i'm at a loss for words other than those. he didn't deserve whatever caused him to do this, and i hope he rests in peace.

dayan, i'll miss you. i'll miss talking to you. i remember spending my first few hours of the last few weekends awake talking to you on IRC. you were truly a great friend. R.I.P.
ravein
three years ago my best friend died in a car accident after we all went out one night. I saw her and talked to her a hour before she died. It was the most heart wrenching feeling I have ever felt to have to tell all of her friends and plan a funeral. This is going to be hard.. and will be hard for a while. It is a shock right now... the shock is going to wear off.. and nothing but pain will be left. I think the best we can do for Dayan and his family is to remember him... this is a time for stories about why we loved Dayan.. the things he did to enrich our lives and make us better people. We need to share this things with each other... so we never forget those wonderful things and so we are not consumed with grief.
When I came here a year ago... I knew I would make friends... I never knew I would love them so much... and I never thought I would lose one... sad.gif
Spacehappy
A passion for music, GOOD music that is. I wish i knew him as well as some of you, i will miss his writings here alot.
Pikasyuu
I'm just so priviledged. So damn priviledged to have been able to know him.

I got to say I loved him before he hung up. and he said he loved me too.
Succubusalicious
I really don't know what to say. I barely knew Dayan, although I was lucky enough to meet him, but just from that I could tell that he was a great, fun person to be around. Condolences to his friends and family, my thoughts are with you. Everyone stay strong - Dayan would have wanted it.
VVes
QUOTE (ravein @ Nov 25 2003, 04:46 PM)
three years ago my best friend died in a car accident after we all went out one night. I saw her and talked to her a hour before she died. ... I knew I would make friends... I never knew I would love them so much... and I never thought I would lose one...  sad.gif

I have that same feeling , I was one of the few that was in the late night club... on Saturday morning when he "came in" ...

It's ...strange what I feel...

I'm numb...

__________________________________
CommieBastard
QUOTE (syuu @ Nov 25 2003, 10:04 PM)
I'm just so priviledged. So damn priviledged to have been able to know him.

I got to say I loved him before he hung up. and he said he loved me too.

He loved you, Katii. Your mutual adoration was so strong...
Prince Aries
Yes, he sure did, Katii. And indeed....we were all priviledged. And honoured.
Silver Star Angel of Da Towers
No.. no!! NO ONE DESERVES TO DIE!! ESPECIALLY NOT LIKE THAT!! He will always be remebered. Forever. He was really such a great person, always bright, always cheery. Why him? Why must angels die!??????? He should have never let go!!!!!!!!!
elf
Oh my lord.

*can't believe it*
magikeyes14
oh my goddess.. no.. he cant have.. he wouldnt... omg... *crys* sad.gif
cheese is funny
fuck... i have no idea what the hell to say... debaser... dayan was like a brother to me... he was easily one of my best friends.... he was always there when i needed someone to talk to... always there to help me through my days... he was very much a rock i needed to fall back on in life... i talked to him just this friday evening, just this saturday.... and he seemed fine... it had been the first time in ages that we agreed on something and had a happy convorsation... for once in a long time, he seemed happy to me... i guess i was wrong... i always new dayan was unhappy... but i never thought it would come to this... i just lost my brother... someone that truely helped me become who i am today, and helped me get to where i am today... dayan, you will always have a place in my heart and in my memories.

rest in peace, dayan, rest in peace my friend.
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