Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: Ask Jonman
The Other Side forums - suitable for mature readers! > The Other Side forums > Daily life
Pages: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14
MistressAlti
QUOTE (Jonman @ Apr 24 2003, 09:09 PM)
In any case, this should be an object lesson in the fact that no matter how nice a bloke seems, he's probably an untrustworthy bastard beneath it all.

Amen to that.
Jaq
Hmm..I think we're all ganging up on Jonman. Not sure what I think of that.....
Free Psycho
We're not ganging up on Jonman. We love Jonman. We're ganging up on the idea that men are pigs. Which HAPPENS to be Jonman's current stance. Just a coincidence, surely. Cause we love Jonman. And Jonman loves us. Yup.
Jaq
QUOTE (Free Psycho @ Apr 25 2003, 06:08 PM)
We're not ganging up on Jonman.  We love Jonman.  We're ganging up on the idea that men are pigs.  Which HAPPENS to be Jonman's current stance.  Just a coincidence, surely.  Cause we love Jonman.  And Jonman loves us.  Yup.

Ooohh. Love the sinner and hate the sins?
Spacehappy
Dear Jonman,

A agony uncle we all know .....seems to have a few women spare, can i have one please?.

Yours totally desperate.
Pikasyuu
Dear Jonman --
Thanks very much for your advice. biggrin.gif Yes, teachers really shouldn't tell me to go to hell. I did as you suggested and spoke to mom about it, but unfortunately her reply was this: " IF THERE IS ONE MORE F------ PROBLEM AT THAT F------ SCHOOL, I'LL HAVE A F------ STROKE. IS THAT WHAT YOU F------ WANT?! I SWEAR TO GOD, KEEP YOUR F------ MOUTH SHUT AROUND HER AND BE F------ RESPECTFUL. " Okay. So maybe I brought this on myself by tiring mom out what with having more than my fair share of err.. disrespect for certain rules. She's not much at believing me, though. Says preschool teachers DON'T throw the student's desk at the students. Oh, they do. Trust me. They do. But I guess I'm on my own in this with the ol' drunk phys. ed teacher. =\ Oh well.
Jonman
QUOTE (Spacehappy @ Apr 25 2003, 06:48 PM)
Dear Jonman,

A agony uncle we all know .....seems to have a few women spare, can i have one please?.

Yours totally desperate.

Sure.

In actual fact, since giving the previous girl the Jonman Elbow ™, the new girl is shaping up very nicely, and is younger, funnier, sexier and we're having a whole lot more fun.

So, next time you're in Seattle, I'll hook you up.

As for the rest of me girly-friends, feel free, I've got no dibs on them, they're just my buddies.

Internet personals ads, I tells ya. Assuming you can avoid the psychos, it's blimmin wicked.
Jonman
QUOTE (syuu @ Apr 25 2003, 09:54 PM)
Dear Jonman --
Thanks very much for your advice. biggrin.gif Yes, teachers really shouldn't tell me to go to hell. I did as you suggested and spoke to mom about it, but unfortunately her reply was this: " IF THERE IS ONE MORE F------ PROBLEM AT THAT F------ SCHOOL, I'LL HAVE A F------ STROKE. IS THAT WHAT YOU F------ WANT?! I SWEAR TO GOD, KEEP YOUR F------ MOUTH SHUT AROUND HER AND BE F------ RESPECTFUL. " Okay. So maybe I brought this on myself by tiring mom out what with having more than my fair share of err.. disrespect for certain rules. She's not much at believing me, though. Says preschool teachers DON'T throw the student's desk at the students. Oh, they do. Trust me. They do. But I guess I'm on my own in this with the ol' drunk phys. ed teacher. =\ Oh well.

If she's a drunk, in that she turns up to work drunk, shop her to the headmaster. That's grounds for instant dismissal. Make sure you can get some fellow students to back up your accusations, or it could all go pear shaped.

G'luck.
Pikasyuu
Jonman --
I love you. ;_;
Free Psycho
QUOTE (Jaq @ Apr 25 2003, 01:16 PM)
QUOTE (Free Psycho @ Apr 25 2003, 06:08 PM)
We're not ganging up on Jonman. We love Jonman. We're ganging up on the idea that men are pigs. Which HAPPENS to be Jonman's current stance. Just a coincidence, surely. Cause we love Jonman. And Jonman loves us. Yup.

Ooohh. Love the sinner and hate the sins?

LOL-don't hate the player, hate the game. I can't believe I just said that...
Industrial Kybosh
QUOTE (MistressAlti @ Apr 25 2003, 05:42 PM)
QUOTE (Jonman @ Apr 24 2003, 09:09 PM)
In any case, this should be an object lesson in the fact that no matter how nice a bloke seems, he's probably an untrustworthy bastard beneath it all.

Amen to that.

Gee thanks...

I can see this e-marriage is built on solid foundations of trust, then... tongue.gif





Luv ya really! <3
Jaq
Dear Jonman:

What advice would you give to a struggling advice columnist just starting out?

Thanks
Jaq
Raven343
Dear Jonamn,

I do....but I don't.....but then again I do.....but I really don't. I don't know why I don't but I don't. Also if i do.....will I want to do again and if I don't am I strange? If I do but then realize I didn't want to do.....will it effect my emotional state? But what if I don't but I then remember that I did want to do.......then what will happen?

Sincerely,
Do you?
Jonman
QUOTE (Jaq @ Apr 26 2003, 05:20 AM)
Dear Jonman:

What advice would you give to a struggling advice columnist just starting out?

Thanks
Jaq

Dear Jaq,

Four things.
Honesty, integrity, obective rationality and sillyness.

I realise that in light of recent events, the first two are slightly suspect coming from me, but I'll happily stand up in the forum court with my hand over my heart and stand by every bit of serious advice I've given. It's the last two that really cut the mustard.

For the serious problems, often, all that's needed is an objective point of view from the outside to put things into perspective. Not forgetting the rationality - never forget than the world is fubar'd, and so are many people in it. Bring it back down to earth, and, as difficult as it may seem, try to objectively understand the emotional content of any problem, while not letting that colour your logical view of the world. Hell, it works for me...

As for the more abstract problems, I find that a sense of humour that's 60 degrees out of phase with reality, coupled with a penchant for waxing lyrical will normally see you right. You'll do good girl.

Jonman - Agony Uncle of the forum - one half of an Agony Team
Jonman
QUOTE (Raven343 @ Apr 26 2003, 08:27 AM)
Dear Jonamn,

I do....but I don't.....but then again I do.....but I really don't. I don't know why I don't but I don't. Also if i do.....will I want to do again and if I don't am I strange? If I do but then realize I didn't want to do.....will it effect my emotional state? But what if I don't but I then remember that I did want to do.......then what will happen?

Sincerely,
Do you?

Dear do I

I get a vague feeling that you're sufferring from indecisiveness. Screw that. Even if comes down to flip of a coin - go one way or another. You'll either learn that that's the wrong way (in which case it's character building), or you'll learn that you made the right choice, in which case, that's positive reinforcement.

Bah. I used to be indecisive, but then I decided to screw it all, and just do what felt like fun. It gets you into trouble occasionally, but my god, you'll have a hell of a ride, and you'll come out of the other side a better person.
Jaq
Dear Jonman:

Why are you answering the questions on my thread?

Sincerely
Jaq
Jaq
QUOTE (Jaq @ Apr 27 2003, 11:56 PM)
Dear Jonman:

Why are you answering the questions on my thread?

Sincerely
Jaq

Dear Jaq:

Well, it's probably because Jonman really wants to answer questions but unfortunately his thread is stuck far away, three pages in from the most recent post. No one has asked him a question in a couple of days and he probably wants to excercise his answering question muscle in his brain. It's a real muscle and if you don't use it you lose it. Would I lie to you? Frankly, no, you would see right through me. Also it's more your fault then anything. You didn't clearly establish Aunt/Uncle boundaries at the beginning and now no one knows where they are. Don't blame Jonman. It's not his fault. He gives quite good advice really, you're just being posessive, but this is completely natural because it was your thread in the first place.

Yours Schizophrenically
Auntie Jaq

p.s. I suggest bumping up his thread on the post list. That way he'll get more exposure.
LoLo
Dear Jonman,

I almost got a giant piece of glass in my foot, by giant I am talking about 2 feet long. I just thought I would share my clumsiness with you.

Sincerely,
CLumsy Butt
Jonman
QUOTE (LoLo @ Apr 28 2003, 12:02 AM)
Dear Jonman,

I almost got a giant piece of glass in my foot, by giant I am talking about 2 feet long.  I just thought I would share my clumsiness with you.

Sincerely,
CLumsy Butt

Dear Butt.

If it's any cosolation, I spent yesterday afternoon juggling 12 clubs between 4 of us for over an hour; we didn't injure each other once. Just thought I'd share my co-ordinatedness with you.

Thanks,
Hairy Butt
LoLo
Dear Jonman,

Do you like my new av?

Sincerely,
I swear I'm not goth really
Jonman
QUOTE (Jaq @ Apr 27 2003, 11:56 PM)
Dear Jonman:

Why are you answering the questions on my thread?

Sincerely
Jaq

Dear Jaq,

In the words of tombstone-toothed ginger-loving brit pop-princess Billie Piper,
"Because I want to".

And 'cos I felt left out as my thread had sunkened.
*wipes eye*
Jonman
QUOTE (LoLo @ Apr 28 2003, 12:17 AM)
Dear Jonman,

Do you like my new av?

Sincerely,
I swear I'm not goth really

What, the red haired one? You've had that for ages. 'oo is it?
LoLo
QUOTE (Jonman @ Apr 27 2003, 04:18 PM)
QUOTE (LoLo @ Apr 28 2003, 12:17 AM)
Dear Jonman,

Do you like my new av?

Sincerely,
I swear I'm not goth really

What, the red haired one? You've had that for ages. 'oo is it?

No its a goth fairy chick with a green bg.....lol it changed on my screen not on yours?
Jonman
QUOTE (LoLo @ Apr 28 2003, 12:19 AM)
No its a goth fairy chick with a green bg.....lol it changed on my screen not on yours?

Ah, it has now I hit reload.

Not bad. Not as good as a big L carved out of hair in the back of your head would be.
CrissiLove
ughh... I have a question, but I couldn't get it phrased right... I'll be back when I can think more clearly... lol it's just been one of those days.... um... so I've been sitting here for about 20 minutes for nothing... so I just wanted to tell ya that.... dry.gif
Free Psycho
Dear Uncle Jonman,
My cousin is a crackhead; her batteries never run out. But my real concern is this: last night she bit my mother in an attempt to eat her. I'm concerned. Is she going to grow up to have cannibalistic tendencies like me? If so, what can be done to prevent it from further developing?

Sincerely,
Hereditary Cannibal
Jonman
QUOTE (Free Psycho @ Apr 28 2003, 12:35 AM)
Dear Uncle Jonman,
My cousin is a crackhead; her batteries never run out. But my real concern is this: last night she bit my mother in an attempt to eat her. I'm concerned. Is she going to grow up to have cannibalistic tendencies like me? If so, what can be done to prevent it from further developing?

Sincerely,
Hereditary Cannibal

Dear Herry

Your cousin sounds like a drug-addled robot from the planet Flid. I suggest pelting her with handfuls of soggy tissue paper until her circuits get moist, and her eyeballs melt.

That'll learn her.

Hope that helps.
CrissiLove
Thank to LoLo, I have something to say this time... hehe

dear jonman,

I have been with my current boyfriend for over four years. He is a really great guy!!! and I really care for him a lot, but the problem is that our relationship has lost its "spark" and I don't think I can manage staying with him when I don't feel the way I used to about him. I have felt like this for the last year or so... To top this all off my family loves him, and I just don't know how to break it off with him without hurting him. Any ideas on how I could do this?

thank you,
crying
Jonman
QUOTE (CrissiLove @ Apr 28 2003, 12:43 AM)
Thank to LoLo, I have something to say this time... hehe

dear jonman,

I have been with my current boyfriend for over four years. He is a really great guy!!! and I really care for him a lot, but the problem is that our relationship has lost its "spark" and I don't think I can manage staying with him when I don't feel the way I used to about him. I have felt like this for the last year or so... To top this all off my family loves him, and I just don't know how to break it off with him without hurting him. Any ideas on how I could do this?

thank you,
crying

Dear Crissi,

I'm afraid to say that there's probably no way of breaking it off without breaking his heart, unless he's also feeling the same way, and you just don't know about it yet.

I was in pretty much exactly the same situation 18 months ago. I'd been with the same girl for 3 years, and I wasn't enjoying life anymore. I managed to get the balls together to tell her that it wasn't working any more, and I didn't want to be with her. It was quite probably the single most hideously unpleasant and heart-wrenching thing I've ever done.

However, on the plus side, since then, I've been so much happier and feeling more like myself, and with 20/20 hindsight, (from a totally selfish point of view, which let's face it, you've got to adopt to some degree or you spend your life unhappy) it was by far the best thing I could have done.

So having said that, the only course of action I can recommend with any degree of integrity is to be 110% honest with him. Tell him exactly how you feel, and what your reasons for leaving are. There's no getting away from the fact that someone's going to get hurt, and it'll probably end up being both of you, I'm afraid.

Think of it this way, if you do still really care for him, it's not fair to go on letting him believe that everything's hunky-dory when it's not.

really hope that helps, and that it all works out for the best in the end....

Jonman
CrissiLove
Dear Jonman

thank you.... I'm crying now because of you... (lol@me blaming you for it) but thank you.
Industrial Kybosh
Poor Crissi...

I hope everything turns out alright for you, darling. If you want to get anything off your chest, you've got my e-mail addy wink.gif

*hug*
Jonman
QUOTE (CrissiLove @ Apr 28 2003, 01:04 AM)
Dear Jonman

thank you.... I'm crying now because of you... (lol@me blaming you for it) but thank you.

*feels guilty*

Honestly, once you're out of the other side of this, you'll feel sooo much better. That's the most reassurance I can offer you.

*big hugs*
Free Psycho
Dear Jonman,

How is it possible that Missy and I have so many weird things in common, plus a weird "connection" (I don't know what else to call it), but we've never met nor or we related because we don't even look alike! (And that proves everything... unsure.gif ) Neither one of us believes in past lives either, so what's with the freaky-deaky stuff?!

Sincerely,
Creeped out e-twin
MistressAlti
Dear Jonman,

Why is my e-twin so creeped out by me?

-??
cheese is funny
dear jonman,

i hate having to shave... everytime i shave... i cut myself... it was understandable when i was using a blade.... but now im using an electric... i use this skin bracer thats s'posed to make it harder to get cuts... but it doesnt work... i hate having small cuts on my face... it bugs me... espcially when i use aftershave... any suggestions? or am i some idiot who cant shave correctly?
Jonman
QUOTE (Free Psycho @ May 1 2003, 06:26 PM)
Dear Jonman,

How is it possible that Missy and I have so many weird things in common, plus a weird "connection" (I don't know what else to call it), but we've never met nor or we related because we don't even look alike! (And that proves everything... unsure.gif ) Neither one of us believes in past lives either, so what's with the freaky-deaky stuff?!

Sincerely,
Creeped out e-twin

Dear Creeped.

Well, crap like this just happens. Thinking about it, me and Mata have a huge amount of things in common. Mind you, we've known each other for donkey's years, but there you go.

Look on the bright side, it's great when you meet someone that just plain 'gets' where you're coming from. See my post about life being good. I've got a similar thing going on at the mo.

Go with it. It can only be a good thing.

Jonman
Jonman
QUOTE (MistressAlti @ May 2 2003, 04:35 AM)
Dear Jonman,

Why is my e-twin so creeped out by me?

-??

Dear Missy,

It's rare to find someone that you click with so well. So rare, in fact, that it's perfectly natural to be a bit wigged out by it (see how I'm getting the americanisms here?).

Stick with it girl. I'm sure it'll be the start of a beautiful friendship...
Jonman
QUOTE (cheese is funny @ May 2 2003, 04:41 AM)
dear jonman,

i hate having to shave... everytime i shave... i cut myself... it was understandable when i was using a blade.... but now im using an electric... i use this skin bracer thats s'posed to make it harder to get cuts... but it doesnt work... i hate having small cuts on my face... it bugs me... espcially when i use aftershave... any suggestions? or am i some idiot who cant shave correctly?

Dear cheese,

Dunno how old you are, but I'm guessing that you're a tad younger than my balding self.

I used to cut meself all the time, but your skin eventually gets used to it. I've not cut meself for ages now.

In the meantime, get some pre-shave oil - there's ones you can get that are specially deisgned for 'leccy shavers. They're top notch. Dunno if the brand's over here in the States, but if you find one by King Of Shaves, that's the daddy.

Take a trip down your local drugstore, and see what you can see.

Jonman, cosmetics advisor to the rich and famous...
MistressAlti
Dear Jonman:

Does ANYONE know what channel the chat is on anymore...???? And why isn't anyone on?
cheese is funny
QUOTE (MistressAlti @ May 2 2003, 04:47 AM)
Dear Jonman:

Does ANYONE know what channel the chat is on anymore...???? And why isn't anyone on?

/join #matazone3

or so ive been told... i havent been in chat sence the whole lod thing earlier this week... i still feel bad...

sorry for hijacking the thread jonman...
Jonman
QUOTE (cheese is funny @ May 2 2003, 04:48 AM)
sorry for hijacking the thread jonman...

Not a problem - I tried matazone2 earlier and was confumbled to find no-one on - heading that way myself right now......
cheese is funny
dear jonman... (ready for another crappy serious question from a guy whose life sucks? hehe)

ok, first of all, im not a racist person, no where near it, and dont understand racism... but it seems that thats all some of my friends have been talking about lately... and talk to me about it thinking im WP... i tell them im not but they dont believe me.. i dont know what to do... i dont want to end our friendships...

<looks around for a website to order the dead kennedys "f*** off nazi punk" shirt>
Jonman
QUOTE (cheese is funny @ May 2 2003, 05:04 AM)
dear jonman... (ready for another crappy serious question from a guy whose life sucks? hehe)

ok, first of all, im not a racist person, no where near it, and dont understand racism... but it seems that thats all some of my friends have been talking about lately... and talk to me about it thinking im WP... i tell them im not but they dont believe me.. i dont know what to do... i dont want to end our friendships...

<looks around for a website to order the dead kennedys "f*** off nazi punk" shirt>

umm, WP?

I'm confused. Dunno what that means.

Anyway, the whole thinking beind racism is fundamentally stupid. you can be as much of a total bastad whether you're black, white, pink, orange, green, blue or brown.

Hitler - white. Total bastard. Nuff said.

What really aggrevates me is the way the mainstream tabloid media stirs up racist feelings - any brits will know The Sun, a crappy 'news'paper that regularly has articles about how the French are all deserving of our hatred.

Hmph.
cheese is funny
QUOTE (Jonman @ May 2 2003, 05:13 AM)
umm, WP?

WP = White Power...

im thinking that everytime i hear them talk about it, i kick their face in... is that a good idea? if im going to end our friendship... its gonna be fun...
Jonman
Ah right.

I have no words to describe the disdain I feel for anyone who claims to be into white supremacy. Really, if there was one group of people that deserve to be blasted into space, that's them.

If your friends really subscribe to that bullshit, my advice would be to never talk to the small-minded, gun-toting backward hick-idiots ever again.

Yours with disgust,
Jonman.
cheese is funny
QUOTE (Jonman @ May 2 2003, 05:22 AM)
small-minded backward hick-idiots

OMG!!! you know everyone in the city i live in?
CrissiLove
QUOTE (cheese is funny @ May 1 2003, 11:27 PM)
QUOTE (Jonman @ May 2 2003, 05:22 AM)
small-minded backward hick-idiots

OMG!!! you know everyone in the city i live in?

(lmaoooooooooooooooooo... that was funny biggrin.gif )
The Tortured Soul
jonman why isn't the faq pinned???

you know gerbils help the noob thread!!!
Free Psycho
QUOTE (Jonman @ May 1 2003, 11:41 PM)
QUOTE (Free Psycho @ May 1 2003, 06:26 PM)
Dear Jonman,

How is it possible that Missy and I have so many weird things in common, plus a weird "connection" (I don't know what else to call it), but we've never met nor or we related because we don't even look alike! (And that proves everything... unsure.gif )  Neither one of us believes in past lives either, so what's with the freaky-deaky stuff?!

Sincerely,
Creeped out e-twin

Dear Creeped.

Well, crap like this just happens. Thinking about it, me and Mata have a huge amount of things in common. Mind you, we've known each other for donkey's years, but there you go.

Look on the bright side, it's great when you meet someone that just plain 'gets' where you're coming from. See my post about life being good. I've got a similar thing going on at the mo.

Go with it. It can only be a good thing.

Jonman

Ummm...I'm thankful for the advise, but it doesn't help! Mayhap I didn't explain our situation well. Creepy creepy things....like I'm listening to Evanscense and all of a sudden she starts singing it on the forum. I told her one of their songs reminded me of her for some reason and she said that was her favorite song. I can't think of anything else, maybe Missy will help me here...
Mata
QUOTE
jonman why isn't the faq pinned???


I'll field that one.

There's a FAQ about the site on the main page, that's not part of the board so can't be pinned.

The help newbies thread: Well, I'll think about it. If anything perhaps we should pin it in the intro section, rather than here, but then again I'm not sure if anyone ever reads these things. I wonder how many people actually bother to read The Rules....

Essentially the answer is that I've been animating for five hours solid now and my brain has melted. Does that help?
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.