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Jonman
QUOTE (LilNick @ Apr 11 2003, 08:15 PM)
Dear Jonman,I want to spend more time on the otherside of course.But I have to share a p.c with my sister.I have hardly any money to buy another p.c what can I do?
p.s do you like my Acid Bunny Frodo?

Tell your sister that using computers will make hairs grow on her nipples. That should see her off. No-one like girls with hairy nipples. One of life's truisms, if ever there was one.

You bunny looks lovely. I bet my pot plant (Jeff) could have him in a who-can-stand-still-the-longest competition though.
Jonman
QUOTE (Debaser @ Apr 11 2003, 08:17 PM)
Dear Jonman,

No matter how hard I try, I still can't reach 300 posts. With people reaching 2000 posts now, I feel kind of inadequate compared to everyone else. What should I do?

Dear Debaser,

I can't advise you to spam outrageously - that would be plainly wrong. However, what's more wrong is you consideration of post numbers. More posts doesn't equal more sexual attraction, intelligence, or popularity. Look at me, barely into the hundreds.

Quality, not quantity, our kid. That's the ticket.

If that doesn't work, stuff socks down your pants/bra*

* (delete as appropriate depending on gender)
Spacehappy
Dear jonman,

Thank you for your marvelous and quick response, there is no chance of me and my ex getting together again, even though we love each other. i went to europe for a month and did the party thing (great it was). so what do i do about this woman?
Jonman
QUOTE (LoLo @ Apr 11 2003, 09:08 PM)
Dear Jonman,

As everyone in chat is aware, I like this guy in my history class, but don't have the guts to look at him let alone talk to him.

Do you know a way I can entice him to talk to me without embarrassing myself?

Sincerely,
Sickly Shy

*reluctantly removes silly hat and puts sensible hat back on*

Dear S.S,

Unfortunately, there is no magic wand. In fact, I would recommend biting the bullet and simply starting a conversation with him, for 2 reasons:
1) For me anyway, and probably other blokes with a couple of brain cells to rub together, it's incredibly flattering if a girl starts chatting me up, even more so if she's bashful and embarressed about it, as that's a sign that she likes me.
2) It'll get it over with in one fell swoop - either he'll respond positively, everyone's a winner, shower of rose petals, soft focus, walk off hand-in-hand. Or he won't in which case you'll be perfectly entitled to be upset and miffed. But that'll pass in a short while. Otherwise, you're left in a what-if situation, which I reckon is worse.

Modern technology may offer some alternative, less-terrifying solutions though. If you can get his cell phone number, you could text him, or get his email addy, and send email. The advantage of these approaches are that you retain your anonimity while you can start a flirty dialogue, then reveal your identity later on in person by mentioning something offhand related to what you've been talking about.

Keep us posted anyway, we're a voyeuristic bunch.
And most importantly, good luck, and may the force be with you.
Jonman
QUOTE (Spacehappy @ Apr 11 2003, 09:15 PM)
Dear jonman,

Thank you for your marvelous and quick response, there is no chance of me and my ex getting together again, even though we love each other. i went to europe for a month and did the party thing (great it was). so what do i do about this woman?

Again, I'm not going to tell you what you should do - only you can decide that, but your options look to be:

Throw caution to the wind and go for it, or don't.

Things to consider are: how you'll feel about being a sly underhanded bastard and muscling in on another guy's girl (blatently breaking the guy code). if your conscience can handle that aspect of it, you then need to consider whether she'll either dump him or go behind his back for some naughty canoodling. Otherwise, you're going nowhere fast.

If all of the above falls into place, I say go for it. Either balls-out, or softly,softly, catchee monkey. Without knowing the woman concerned, I can't suggest one over the other.

Hope that helps.




Move over Dear Deidre, Jonman's in town!
LoLo
Dear Jonman,

I'm cold. These shorts I have on felt nice to have on when I was outside washing my car, but now that I am inside they don't feel so great.

What do you purpose I do?

Sincerely,
Nipply
Jonman
QUOTE (LoLo @ Apr 11 2003, 09:55 PM)
Dear Jonman,

I'm cold. These shorts I have on felt nice to have on when I was outside washing my car, but now that I am inside they don't feel so great.

What do you purpose I do?

Sincerely,
Nipply

Dear Bullets,

Make some fresh custard. Allow to cool until it's no longer painful to dip your hand into it.

Get two largish rubber bands. Place them around the outside of your shorts legs, towards the bottom, making an airtight seal.

Tip the warm custard into the shorts. Hey presto - instant warmth-pants! The slippery-slideyness of the custard is a bonus.




Next!
Sir Psycho Sexy
dEAR jONMAN

dO YOU REMEMBER THOSE HEROS OF COMEDY i MENTIONED ONCE BEFORE...lEE eVANS AND eDDIE iZZARD? WELL i THINK YOU COULD BE ONE OF THOSE....BUT NOT AS RICH OR FAMOUS

sIGNED
hIGHLE aMUSED

P.S. i REALISE I TYPED THIS MOSTLY IN CAPS....BUT I'M SLIGHTLY PISSED AND DIDN'T REALISE TIL IT WAS TOO LATE...AND I COULDN'T BE ARSED TO FIX IT
Hyperion
Dear Jonman

I took some advice from one of your previous posts and shoved some socks down my pants. I am now getting very odd looks from mommy dearest. What ought I to say to comfort her, and reassure her that I don't need a psychologist?

Sincerely,
Lumpy Pants

PS - Should I wear gloves to prom?
Jonman
QUOTE (Sir_Psycho_Sexy @ Apr 11 2003, 11:29 PM)
dEAR jONMAN

dO YOU REMEMBER THOSE HEROS OF COMEDY i MENTIONED ONCE BEFORE...lEE eVANS AND eDDIE iZZARD? WELL i THINK YOU COULD BE ONE OF THOSE....BUT NOT AS RICH OR FAMOUS

sIGNED
hIGHLE aMUSED

P.S. i REALISE I TYPED THIS MOSTLY IN CAPS....BUT I'M SLIGHTLY PISSED AND DIDN'T REALISE TIL IT WAS TOO LATE...AND I COULDN'T BE ARSED TO FIX IT

Dear hIGHLE aMUSED

Thank you very much. I don't want the fame anyway - all those thousands of horny 18 year olds throwing themselves naked at my feet smeared in olive oil, custard, mayonnaise and ketchup. Who'd want that?

And as for rich, as long as I can afford toys and a silly fat internet connection, and truckloads of sushi, I'm a happy man.
Jonman
QUOTE (Hyperion @ Apr 11 2003, 11:34 PM)
Dear Jonman

I took some advice from one of your previous posts and shoved some socks down my pants. I am now getting very odd looks from mommy dearest. What ought I to say to comfort her, and reassure her that I don't need a psychologist?

Sincerely,
Lumpy Pants

PS - Should I wear gloves to prom?

Dear Lumpy,

The socks down the pants were specifially designed to alleviate post-number envy, rather than a cureall for all your ills. I can see you've now got a situation on your hands.

If you're a girly (in which case the socks should have been in your bra anyway, you silly numpty), tell her that you've got a homework assignment to write a report about life from the point of view of a member of the opposite sex, and you're a firm believer in character acting. If you're a boy, tell her there was a draught going right up your leg, and your boy bits were getting cold.

As for gloves for prom, definitiely. Either latex ones, or marigolds.
Jaq
Dear Jonman:

I have a problem. Can you help?

Thank you
Jonman
QUOTE (Jaq @ Apr 11 2003, 11:43 PM)
Dear Jonman:

I have a problem. Can you help?

Thank you

Dear Jaq,

Not if it involves pigeons or seahorses, I can't, no.
Jaq
QUOTE (Jonman @ Apr 11 2003, 11:45 PM)
QUOTE (Jaq @ Apr 11 2003, 11:43 PM)
Dear Jonman:

  I have a problem.  Can you help?

Thank you

Dear Jaq,

Not if it involves pigeons or seahorses, I can't, no.

It doesn't. Now can you help?
Jonman
QUOTE (Jaq @ Apr 11 2003, 11:46 PM)
QUOTE (Jonman @ Apr 11 2003, 11:45 PM)
QUOTE (Jaq @ Apr 11 2003, 11:43 PM)
Dear Jonman:

  I have a problem. Can you help?

Thank you

Dear Jaq,

Not if it involves pigeons or seahorses, I can't, no.

It doesn't. Now can you help?

*phew*

*mutters* bloody seahorses

Shoot, medear.
Jaq
QUOTE (Jonman @ Apr 11 2003, 11:48 PM)
QUOTE (Jaq @ Apr 11 2003, 11:46 PM)
QUOTE (Jonman @ Apr 11 2003, 11:45 PM)
QUOTE (Jaq @ Apr 11 2003, 11:43 PM)
Dear Jonman:

I have a problem. Can you help?

Thank you

Dear Jaq,

Not if it involves pigeons or seahorses, I can't, no.

It doesn't. Now can you help?

*phew*

*mutters* bloody seahorses

Shoot, medear.

*bang*

Sorry. My problem is I have troubles with uncontrollable rage. Oh dear. Did i shoot you? Sorry about that. See?
Jonman
QUOTE (Jaq @ Apr 11 2003, 11:49 PM)
*bang*

Sorry. My problem is I have troubles with uncontrollable rage. Oh dear. Did i shoot you? Sorry about that. See?

*looks down at bloody hole in chest*

Oh bugger. Not again.
wolfbane
Dear Jonman,

I have a problem. Can you help? I think I might be a wolf in a human body. I have htese urges to howl at the moon and run after things on all fours, biting them when I catch them. As you can imagine, living in a busy city this causes problems with buses, people and small animals. What do you suggest I do?

Sincerely,
fed up of being shouted at
Jonman
QUOTE (wolfbane @ Apr 12 2003, 12:05 AM)
Dear Jonman,

I have a problem. Can you help? I think I might be a wolf in a human body. I have htese urges to howl at the moon and run after things on all fours, biting them when I catch them. As you can imagine, living in a busy city this causes problems with buses, people and small animals. What do you suggest I do?

Sincerely,
fed up of being shouted at

Dear fed up of being shouted at,

Let's think about this. If you were a wolf in a human body, you'd be really baggy around the knees and elbows, not to mention the armpits.

Now stop being so silly, and only bite people who deserve it. Or those who find it pleasant.

An alternative is to wear earplugs, so people's shouting doesn't upset you.
wolfbane
Dear Jonman,

Thank you for the advice on only biting people who want it. I shall have to stick to that in future. The trouble is that I am baggy round the knees and elbows, and especially the armpits. Does this mean that I am a wolf in a human body? Or am I just confused?

yours,
looking for someone to bite
Jonman
QUOTE (wolfbane @ Apr 12 2003, 12:16 AM)
Dear Jonman,

Thank you for the advice on only biting people who want it. I shall have to stick to that in future. The trouble is that I am baggy round the knees and elbows, and especially the armpits. Does this mean that I am a wolf in a human body? Or am I just confused?

yours,
looking for someone to bite

Nope, that's conclusive evidence as far as I'm concerned. Unless you're a hyena in a human's body. Very difficult to tell without dissection.
wolfbane
*backs away from Jonman*

Thank you for the great advice. Now all I have to do is not chase/bite people (unless they really want me to)...
LoLo
Dear Jonman,

I am writing in reply to your reply about my cold legs. Thanks bunches they are much warmer now.

However they seem to be blistering.

**runs fast to bath tub to cool my legs**

Sincerely,
Nipply
Jonman
QUOTE (LoLo @ Apr 12 2003, 02:53 AM)
Dear Jonman,

I am writing in reply to your reply about my cold legs. Thanks bunches they are much warmer now.

However they seem to be blistering.

**runs fast to bath tub to cool my legs**

Sincerely,
Nipply

You obviously didn't follow the advice closely enough - the first bit about waiting for the custard to cool?

In the future, try porridge - the different consistency is quite interesting. Chicken noodle soup can be fun too.

Oh, and do have a wash before you go to bed tonight.
Jaq
Dear Jonman:

Why are the potato chips at the bottom of the bag the smallest ones? What did they ever do to deserve being sat upon by the other bigger potato chips? Did their mothers smoke while pregnant with them? Is that why they're so small? Why can't every potato chip be the same size? Were they malnourished? Do the other potato chips make fun of them? Do they have an inferiority complex? Do they pick fights at the bar to make themselves feel bigger? If so does this help them with their size at all?

Signed
Quickly Getting to The Bottom of the Bag
LoLo
Dear Jonman,

Turns out those burns are from the sun not from the advice given.

Sorry for my mistake.

Sincerely,
Nipply with burnt legs.
Jonman
QUOTE (Jaq @ Apr 12 2003, 04:25 AM)
Dear Jonman:

Why are the potato chips at the bottom of the bag the smallest ones? What did they ever do to deserve being sat upon by the other bigger potato chips? Did their mothers smoke while pregnant with them? Is that why they're so small? Why can't every potato chip be the same size? Were they malnourished? Do the other potato chips make fun of them? Do they have an inferiority complex? Do they pick fights at the bar to make themselves feel bigger? If so does this help them with their size at all?

Signed
Quickly Getting to The Bottom of the Bag

My oh my, Quickly, what a lot of questions you have.

All the better to answer.

In order......

- because if they were all the same size, chips (or crisps as they're rightly known) would be dull. Imagine, none of the satisfaction of finding a huge one any more.
- they are evil crisps. They deserve it
- No, but they did drink lots of lots of diet-drinks. beware, pregnant ladies - saccarin can make you baby into a small potato chip
- No (see above)
- Because potato chips are liberal folks. After all, who'd want to eat communist potato chips?
- No, they're potatos.
- Sometimes, but only the mean ones
- Like people, some do, some don't. The psychology of the humble potato chip is one of life's little mysteries
- Not the little ones - they'd get whupped. Unless they know kung-fu.
- No, but it does gain them the respect of their peers.

*deep breath*

Blimey, I'm cream crackered now.
Jonman
QUOTE (LoLo @ Apr 12 2003, 04:28 AM)
Dear Jonman,

Turns out those burns are from the sun not from the advice given.

Sorry for my mistake.

Sincerely,
Nipply with burnt legs.

Oooh, you're a saucy one, aren't you, sunbathing without any keks on.
craziness
dear jonman,
my best friend is leaving soon. i dont know exactly when, but i think its today or tommorow. (she doesnt know either) everyone in my stupid school hates me, and has no respect for me, except for her and like 2 other people! i dont know what to do. plus, one of my other close friends is leaving for a few months in may.
love,
upset
Jonman
QUOTE (craziness @ Apr 12 2003, 10:49 AM)
dear jonman,
my best friend is leaving soon. i dont know exactly when, but i think its today or tommorow. (she doesnt know either) everyone in my stupid school hates me, and has no respect for me, except for her and like 2 other people! i dont know what to do. plus, one of my other close friends is leaving for a few months in may.
love,
upset

Dear Crazi,

Don't despair. That's the most important thing. Of course you'll miss your friends, just make blinking sure that you get contact details (phone, email, real address - as many as you can) so you can stay in touch. I mean, if you can talk to some random bloke you've never met before (i.e. me) via the wonders of technology, you can damn sure stay close to your friends. A perfect example is that I've just been chatting with Mata - I'm about to go to bed - he's just woken up. Haven't seen the fella for 6 or 8 months, but due to the wonders of the internet, we're still as close as ever.

As for what to do in the meantime; if the people at your school are utter numpties, then do something outside of school. Can't remember how old you are, or where you are (but I'm guessing UK, or you'd be tucked up in bed probably), but there's all sorts of clubs and wotnot a person can do. I used to do scouts and venture scouts, and made many top banana friends there who I'm still close with now 8 years later. That's just an example - is there anything you've fancied trying, but never got around to? - canoeing, karate, crochet or whatever. There'll likely be some local group around that does that. Sure, it'll be intimidating at first, but the folk that tend to do this kind of stuff are normally really welcoming.

And my final bit of advice - keep on smiling through - no matter how crap the situation gets, moping will only make you even unhappier in the long run. Find the good in the any situation, and focus on that. Not easy to do a lot of the time, but it works for me.

And of course, us lot will all be here to provide virtual shoulders to cry on if it all gets too much. I'm sure everyone will back me up on that one.
craziness
thanks jonman
i am in NY i went to bed early last night lmao....
i just cant stay sleeping for more than 8 hours or i will die
well i ususally can, i have no idea whats going on!!!!
WHY AM I AWAKE AT 612 AM AND I AM NOT ABOUT TO GO TO SLEEP???????
Jonman
QUOTE (craziness @ Apr 12 2003, 11:06 AM)
thanks jonman
i am in NY i went to bed early last night lmao....
i just cant stay sleeping for more than 8 hours or i will die
well i ususally can, i have no idea whats going on!!!!
WHY AM I AWAKE AT 612 AM AND I AM NOT ABOUT TO GO TO SLEEP???????

Blim. I thought you were a yankee bod. Couldn't quite reconcile that in my head, as I'm on the west coast, and still up from last night.

Right, bed calleth. Thank flip for a day off tomorrow.

Hope you stay cool this weekend.

Laters.
Debaser
QUOTE (Jonman @ Apr 11 2003, 09:12 PM)
Dear Debaser,

I can't advise you to spam outrageously - that would be plainly wrong. However, what's more wrong is you consideration of post numbers. More posts doesn't equal more sexual attraction, intelligence, or popularity. Look at me, barely into the hundreds.

Quality, not quantity, our kid. That's the ticket.

If that doesn't work, stuff socks down your pants/bra*

* (delete as appropriate depending on gender)

ever since i stuffed socks down my pants, my self esteem has sky-rocketed. thanks jonman!
Jonman
QUOTE (Debaser @ Apr 12 2003, 11:10 AM)
ever since i stuffed socks down my pants, my self esteem has sky-rocketed. thanks jonman!

And to think you doubted me.

Tut.
craziness
dear jonman,

what do you do if you used to be really good friends with someone but you drifted apart because they got a stupid boyfriend (i will laugh when they break up that guy is SUCH an idiot) and he has become their whole life and then they did something that really pissed you off and then you stopped being friends and now your relationship is just kinda of civil? its not that i am jealous of her or something either, the guy is just a bad word that i will not be using here [which also happens to be a synonym for the word cat].

love,
losing all of my friends

p.s. (i lost this friend a while ago but now that i have lost so many other friends i need more back)
Jonman
QUOTE (craziness @ Apr 12 2003, 07:00 PM)
dear jonman,

what do you do if you used to be really good friends with someone but you drifted apart because they got a stupid boyfriend (i will laugh when they break up that guy is SUCH an idiot) and he has become their whole life and then they did something that really pissed you off and then you stopped being friends and now your relationship is just kinda of civil? its not that i am jealous of her or something either, the guy is just a bad word that i will not be using here [which also happens to be a synonym for the word cat].

love,
losing all of my friends

p.s. (i lost this friend a while ago but now that i have lost so many other friends i need more back)

Dear Crazi,

If you feel that you and your friend still have the same things in common that made you really good friends in the first place, then just talk to her. I'm assuming your willing to forgive and forget whatever it was she did that pissed you off?
How about inviting her over one afternoon or evening and just chilling out together? Once the ice is broken, I'm sure you'll get on just as well as you used to.

One thing NOT to do is tell her what you think of her boy, as that's just likely to alienate her. With things like this, unless he's really bad for her (hitting her, or dating other girls as well), it's very difficult to get your point across tactfully without hurting the other person's feelings or looking like a jealous fool.

Good luck.
craziness
nope, i told you, he is a weakling, another word for a cat. he hasnt got the guts to even say anything remotely mean to her. you make good points, but i have tried and all i will hear about the whole time is hi mand anime and japanese music. and then i might just have to kill her.
Jonman
QUOTE (craziness @ Apr 12 2003, 07:51 PM)
nope, i told you, he is a weakling, another word for a cat. he hasnt got the guts to even say anything remotely mean to her. you make good points, but i have tried and all i will hear about the whole time is hi mand anime and japanese music. and then i might just have to kill her.

OK, in a strange way, it's good that he hasn't the guts to say anything mean.

Hmm, another tough one. You sure know how to stretch my agony uncling muscles. To breaking point actually - I'm a bit stumped as to what to suggest.

carry a big inflatable hammer, and smite her everytime she mentions him, anime or japanese music? Within weeks, you can condition her to cringe at the very thought of any of those things.
CrissiLove
Dear Jonman,

I have this great friend on here (*cough* crazi *cough*) who seems really down in the dumps and refuses to believe me when I tell her she is totally hot and nice (just cause I'm a silly hetero). What can I say/do to help her????

thank you,
At a loss....
LilNick
Dear Jonman,
My cat is getting smaller but he eats loads what the hell is going on??????????????????
Jonman
QUOTE (CrissiLove @ Apr 12 2003, 08:03 PM)
Dear Jonman,

I have this great friend on here (*cough* crazi *cough*) who seems really down in the dumps and refuses to believe me when I tell her she is totally hot and nice (just cause I'm a silly hetero). What can I say/do to help her????

thank you,
At a loss....

Dear at a loss,

Having viewed the family album myself, and speaking as a silly hetero, but with the important distinction of being male, and I can assure you that crazi is indeed as cute as a pink fluffy bunny rabbit with big fuzzy ears, and more to the point, seems like one of the more down-to-earth and with-it folks I've had the pleasure to meet.

So you can tell her I said so. Unless she reads it here herself first, which is more likely.
Jonman
QUOTE (LilNick @ Apr 12 2003, 08:08 PM)
Dear Jonman,
My cat is getting smaller but he eats loads what the hell is going on??????????????????

Dear Nick,

Not being a qualified vet, I'd struggle to answer this one. Are you sure you're not viewing the cat from progressively further and further away? That would explain things.
CrissiLove
QUOTE (Jonman @ Apr 12 2003, 02:51 PM)
Dear at a loss,

Having viewed the family album myself, and speaking as a silly hetero, but with the important distinction of being male, and I can assure you that crazi is indeed as cute as a pink fluffy bunny rabbit with big fuzzy ears, and more to the point, seems like one of the more down-to-earth and with-it folks I've had the pleasure to meet.

So you can tell her I said so. Unless she reads it here herself first, which is more likely.

Thank you very much! I made sure she came to see it (yes... she prolly would have done so on her own eventually... but I couln't wait *impatient*) lol Anyways, thank you!
craziness
lol, thanks jonman for answering all of my questions, and saying im cute as a fluffy bunny, and thanks crissi for posting that
LoLo
Dear Jonman,

I'm trying to decide what to do tomorrow.

Any suggestions.

Sincerely,
Bored off my ars
MistressAlti
Dear Jonman,

My forum lover disappeared into the real world, and I'm finding myself saddened on more than just the e-surface level of my mind. Is this bad from a strictly psychological standpoint? What should I do to make myself feel better?

*the broken-hearted one
Jonman
QUOTE (LoLo @ Apr 13 2003, 02:09 AM)
Dear Jonman,

I'm trying to decide what to do tomorrow.

Any suggestions.

Sincerely,
Bored off my ars

*rubs hands together*

The world truly is your mollusc, my dear.

Here's some of the things I'd consider doing if I had an entire day to myself (which happens rarely due to being an international engineer of mystery. Think Austin Powers with a laptop). In no particular order.

-Go skydiving
-Phone friends back home I've not spoken to for a while
-'do lunch' with friends here I've not seen for a while
-Go snowboarding
-Try to teach myself how to do clever computer stuff with websites, bleepy noise generation and photoshop
-play a disgusting amount of videogames while wearing pyjamas and eating ice cream
-tidy my flat
-sleep lots
-go shopping
-get on a boat, go somewhere and hire a canoe and paddle about.

Most, if not all entail listening to a lot of music as well.
Jonman
QUOTE (MistressAlti @ Apr 13 2003, 05:35 AM)
Dear Jonman,

My forum lover disappeared into the real world, and I'm finding myself saddened on more than just the e-surface level of my mind. Is this bad from a strictly psychological standpoint? What should I do to make myself feel better?

*the broken-hearted one

*puts on Freud wig*

Dear MissyA

Speaking as the father of modern psychology, and pipe smoker of the year 1964, I can say that no, this is not bad from a psychological standpoint. We all form bonds with people we meet, and are saddened when we see less of them.

I find it interesting how easy we find it to can form bonds with people we've never met face-to-face. In the past, I suppose over a matter of months, you could feel that you get to know a pen-pal, but the immediacy of response available through the interweb is more akin to a phone conversation. It's always entertaining trying to explain to someone's who's not online, or not techno-savvy the concept of internet-buddies: folk you've never met, probably never will, but feel like you know, and feel affection for.

Nothing wrong with it at all. Tis better to have loved and lost than never loved at all. As true in cyberspace is it is in the 'real' world.

As to how to make it better? Some possible short-term solutions - ice-cream, hanging with buddies (real and virtual) and generally doing fun stuff.

But surely a better idea would be to PM Inky, and get his email address, so you can continue to chat to him through that medium, which is easier for those real world folk to work around.

Chin up, wot wot.
MistressAlti
Thanks Jonman... I haven't any ice cream, but I do have jellybeans...
>snarfs jellybeans<
wolfbane
Dear Jonman,

I'm depressed today and feeling worthless. There's a really nice guy in work who I like, and who I get one with, but let's face it who's ever going to want to go out with me? I'm weird in a f&*@ed up way, I'm ugly, have a distinct lack of confidence and the only people who find me even remotley goodl looking are people I know over the net, which, quite frankly, says it all. How can I hide away without people noticing that I'm gone?

Yours,
depressed and worthless
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