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Tigersong
Jaq told me to tell her a story, so I did. Here it is:

Many years ago, there was an Empress of the World's Smallest Empire. She was surrounded by all the world's riches; gold, silver, jewels, beautiful men and women, domesticated tigers, and exotic birds from all parts of the world. But the Empress was unhappy, as often happens in these tales. She knew there was sickness and death outside of her palatial home, had heard descriptions from all the Empire's wisemen. Yet she couldn't understand why they just didn't have doctors to treat those things, like what happened when she was sick. So one evening, she snuck out of the palace to go and see the wider world. Dressed in the simple smock of a serving girl, she left her home, crossed the bridge, and made her way towards the village.

On the way, however, she happened upon a Squirrel that was eatting acorns at the side of the road. "Hello, Mr. Squirrel," she said. To which the Squirrel responded, "Hello, fair Empress."

"Why do you eat so?" said the Empress. "Are you not afraid of becoming fat?"

"Indeed, your majesty. I am preparing for the winter, when the snows will come and the trees will die. If I am not fat enough, I will die without food."

The Empress had never thought about this before, but now she considered it well. For her, snow had merely been a time for sledding and hot chocolate and sitting around fires. Worries of death were never a part of her world. So the Empress made her way back to the palace, greatly sombered by these things.

The next day, she awoke, and demanded that her servants bring her more and more and more food. Breakfast after breakfast she ate, lunch and supper. More food and more. Sweets imported from all the most exotic places of the world. Chocolates. Fudge. Fruits and meats. Pies.

And she became so fat she had a heart attack and died.

The end.

The moral of the story: Squirrels don't need triple-bypass surgery, idiot.
MistressAlti
So THAT'S what your screenname's referring to! I kept meaning to ask...
Industrial Kybosh
What about talking squirrels? Or do they have a special private health care plan?
Tigersong
No. No one cares about squirrels. Not even the talking variety. They just have heart attacks and die and nobody cares. The cruel cruel world ignores the pain and suffering of the talking squirrels.

Now talking chipmunks, that's a different story...
Sir Psycho Sexy
How did this Squirrel (if that really is his name) know it was the Empress he's probably never seen before who also happened to be wearing a disguise?
Tigersong
Squirrels are clever fellows, don'tcha know?

Also, the Empress wasn't terribly brilliant. Sure, she was dressed as a pauper, but she had forgotten to take off her crown. Er... something like that.
gothictheysay
QUOTE
So THAT'S what your screenname's referring to! I kept meaning to ask...


It all makes sense now.

Tell another! But this time, she runs into a talking *chipmunk*. biggrin.gif
Artemisia
Yeah, to tell you the truth, lover, I wasn't too impressed at the beginning. I was like, wow, I've heard this before... it's just the story of Buddha, when he was a prince, meets Jasmine from the first Aladdin movie. Totally you, btw. tongue.gif But then, when she went BACK to the palace to consider what the squirrel said, instead of continuing out in the world to find out more about suffering, then....THEN I knew something was up...... biggrin.gif Great story!
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