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Dreams On Hiatus
I was trying a different style of writing. This one is called "The Faery Haven."

Dreams laden with gossamer
Golden leaves of summer's faded glory,
the Faery Haven and the forest floor.

Soft steps and whispered spells
Tinkling gently like bells on the wind,
Unheard and seen only by the innocent.

Foxglove-covered creatures fae,
Blessing nature with their energies,
Dancing gaily in the faery ring,
Where thither lies the Faery Haven.

Constructive criticism please.
Dreams On Hiatus
man is it that bad that no one wants to comment on it? sad.gif

Oh well, I like it. I was just hoping for feedback from you guys...
Feedback? wha? from a man on 60% warning? oh ok... constuctive... more sorrow! more feeling! I can`t really connect with this awe of magical nature stuff... a forest feels like my natural habitat though ... it is a almost unflawed poem though... BUT feelings are flawed, realism of poems seeming more unreal is the most unreal feeling possible. Sorry nothing constructive form the man on death row.
Dreams On Hiatus
Thanks for the comment, I appreciate it. smile.gif
Oh, I'll comment because no one ever commented on the one I put up save for one soul. Anyways, I like the image and all the appeal to the senses as well as the word choice. I don't think you need to change anything. happy.gif
Id like to be an Alexander (FF8) ... moogles are juicy
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