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Silver Star Angel of Da Towers
The way that I feel,
it doesn't really matter,
there's nothing else better,
it all just melts away.

The way that I feel,
the passion overflows
for miles and miles
till it reaches your heart.

The way that I feel,
my heart is so pure
the honesty is real,
I could never lie.

The way that I feel,
the happiness is true,
I love you so much,
I need you so bad.
*tears up* Aww, that was beautifula nd simple too. I wouldn't really change it. I love it the way it is. It's gushy in a good way. smile.gif

(can I print it out if I credit to you and pass it along to MY love? I send him lyrics all the time laugh.gif twould be an honor wink.gif)
can I get some crackers with that cheese??? biggrin.gif laugh.gif
I'm just kidding.. it is pretty gushy.. but again it is what you feel.. I like it.. I give it 3 1/2 crackers. laugh.gif
Fallen Element
Silver! Amazing poem! I kinda agree with Ravein on the gush factor but it is still an amazing poem! And i applaud you on getting the courage to post it, when its obviously about something sensitive!

*hugs Silver

Fal xXx
It's a start.

In my humblest of opinions, I think that you need to mask it a little more. Love poems have been done and done, but if you can capture the magic of the old poets, you'll have something.

What am I saying?

Of course it is up to you, but I think it needs some more... florid language. A litle more mystery so that you don't gush all over him; make him think a little more.

I dunno, those are just my thoughts. Nice start, though.
well, I'm extremely bad at judging poetry, as I am at writing it, but that's really not too bad. I think it needs some deeper words, maybe a bit of symbolism would work out as well. But I should really leave that up to you to decide. :3 It's a good start indeed.
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