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Dolty McDaft
My thoughts won't think.

Well now, I've reached the brink.
Go help yourself to my brain pudding.
I hear it's chocolate.
And in it, the world will sink.

And everyone will drown.

We know it was inevitable.
The end was looming near anyway.
People, this is our Justice Day.
So try not to trip on the TV cable.

The media won't like that, no.
The news would stop and the press won't run.
It would ruin all our endless "fun"
And the New Age won't know where to go.

I don't care.
The nukes can blow,
And I won't care.

Because what's it worth?

Heck, someday the sun'll explode
And our earth's core will soon implode.
I don't know the secret code.

I'll saw off Florida.
And split up Michigan
I've got a gun
And a fancy hat
So get out of my way
I can do that.

Things are all my fault.

I think I caused Global Warming.
I think I caused the War
I don't know my thoughts at all.
They let me climb the mountain high,
And I broke my neck at the fall.
#tay
Now that was deep. really freaking deep. I can't really explain exactly why I like it so much... probably because of the strong symbolism used? Yes, it must be a combination of the symbolism and the uniqueness of it that makes this poem a real gem. The flow is unique as well- the way the first and last lines rhymed, while the two lines that seperated them in the middle rhymed as well, I don't see that writing technique used often.

I am baffled. How long have you been writing?
acid_rain_child
There's inconsistant rhyming patterns, but I'm still digging the poem as a whole. It sounds like something I would've written half-baked after listening to the State of the Union Address or something.
Dolty McDaft
QUOTE (#tay @ Jun 18 2004, 03:56 AM)
I am baffled. How long have you been writing?

I thought it up as a song, but the chorus was weird (I didn't include it), and I couldn't think of music to go to it, so that's why the rhyming is off.

I've been writing mostly this year. /..\
Gothymothy girl
Thats the one u read to me over the phone right? I thinbk ive got a melody 4 it. ill tell ya when i come over Thursday. I told you before, but ill say it again. IM REALLY FREAKING JEALOUS OF THAT POEM!!!! its so good.
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