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Dreams On Hiatus
We've got a star in our hands,
Shining brightly in the netted sky;
A glimpse of quicksilver epiphany
And sparkle-bound dreams.

Softly now the comet tails fade,
As they stretch a ribbon across
the roof of my sky and the brick of my house.
Gentle light of memory leaving a glowing trail
Upon my upturned face.

Slowly as the twilight scatters
in the wisps of morning cloud
the Star in our hands sleeps soundly,
Waiting for the night to come again.


It's a different style than I am used to writing in. What do you think?
#tay
Actually... it's not bad. ^ ^ Even though there wasn't any rhyming in it, the flow of the poem was rather nice in my opinion.... = =; There's not too much I can say here, besides you did a nice job. Especially compared to me. :is horrible at poetry:

Sorry for the lack of constructive criticizm. :laughs:
Dreams On Hiatus
hey it's okay, tay. I'm just happy that someone replied happy.gif.
karismaklysm
wow... i really enjoyed that...
your imagery is great!
except, i wanted to know who is "we"... everybody? are you inviting everyone to find their star? or is it more specific than that...
Dreams On Hiatus
QUOTE (karismaklysm @ Jun 22 2004, 10:14 AM)
wow... i really enjoyed that...
your imagery is great!
except, i wanted to know who is "we"... everybody? are you inviting everyone to find their star? or is it more specific than that...

'We' is pretty much everyone. smile.gif I was going to just put 'I' but I didn't like the way it sounded.
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