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Sarah the Spider
I've had this saved on my computer for a while now; it was supposed to be the introduction to a short story I never wrote. Go figure. dry.gif Anyway, I was wondering what you all thought of it. I don't know what to DO with it. I'm not as morbid as this suggests...well, hey, I probably am actually, but...just read it. laugh.gif

He didn’t kill her out of hatred. In fact, it was quite the contrary. It was because he loved her. Once, anyway. Slowly, the beautiful and sacred thing between them began to falter. It never fell apart, and there was never any true tension. He felt it in little things, the common things that happen everyday. They were the very things that caused him to fall in love with her. He began to notice the way the inflection in her voice changed even when there was no emotional climax in a story, the way she wore her hair down in the wind and had to pull it away from her mouth and neck every few minutes. The one thing that he noticed the most regretfully, however, was the way she felt under him on those long nights. How he knew her so well, the way she moved and the things she whispered…yet somehow didn’t know her at all. It was envy and loneliness and creeping self-doubt on his mind as he touched her these nights, and little else. He loved Natalie, he really did…but he loathed the things that made her who she was. It was a bitter, swelling feeling that could not be ignored. It simply had to be brought to the surface.
Deep. I mean it. The metaphors made it easier to read, and the way you pointed out that he still loved her more than once made it stronger. Are you going to continue it?
Makes me want to keep reading. If you continue it, maybe you could answer the following questions in the narrative:

1) What are the things that make her the way she is?
2) Why can't he stand these things of her, and how can he love her despite this?
3) What does he really love about her, and what made him fall in love with her?
4) Did he literally kill her, or was that a metaphor for something else? I don't know how it could work if it was a literal killing, unless you intended to take this story a completely different direction (into the delusions of his own mind, for instance -- because I simply can't see how a person can love someone and be able to kill them).
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