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lygophilia
This started as part of an email to Chad (my bestfriend and exboyfriend) I was writing when I was depressed one day that turned into a little story. Angie is me. I used to be called Angie (family still calls me that, but I prefer Angela--or Angel)

**Every time you see " * " there's a pause. You don't hear Angie say anything through the whole thing. That's a place where she'd say something. You can infer what she's saying by what the speaker says in reply.**
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Little Angie gets made fun of and has go cry her eyes out. Angie gets in trouble. Now she has to run to her room to be alone to cry. She couldn’t come out. She just stayed in her room...embarrassed ...hurt...crying. It never took much to do that. Her whole life, she’s been that way. She should have known this was her future. But she’s not smart enough for that. Little Angie doesn't know...she's too busy singing and being annoyingly happy. Uh-oh. Little Preston makes fun of little Angie. Little Angie has to go hide under her desk and cry her eyes out in front of everyone...in the third f***ing grade! Isn't little Angie supposed to be over that by now? No, little Angie will continue crying a long time...even when she becomes big Angie, the older cousin.

Even big Angie cries all the time. It just keeps going forever and always never to end. She thought her little cousins would look up to her. But big Angie feels even lower then them sometimes...so insecure...so sensitive. It ruined everything for Angie: her childhood...her adolescence. Will she even be alive for her 18th birthday? Or her 21st? Or even her Sweet 16? It's less than a month away. Can she make it a few more weeks? About twenty more days? She's gotta get through homework and sadness and finals and madness... God, look at stupid little Angie! She can't even make it through a letter without turning her words into retarded rhymes!

Selfish, spoiled, bratty, bitchy, frizzy-haired, f***ed up, UGLY little Angie! You’re such a selfish, spoiled little bitch, Angie! Your father gives you almost everything you want, but you still aren’t happy! You just sit in your room and cry about how sad you are and how much you want to die. You’re such a screw up, Angie! You can’t do anything right! You try to make things better, but you just make them worse. Everyone would be better off without you, Angie; you know that. Why haven’t you killed yourself yet? …Oh, that’s right; you tried. You tried to cut your wrists but you can’t even do that right! You can’t do it deep enough; you can’t even take the pain! I’ll teach you the right way. …Here, Angie, just take the knife like this… …You can’t even hold it right! You know, Angie, I’ll do it for you. Give me the knife, Angie. …Give it, you little b****! *smack*…You know I didn’t want to have to hit you like that, but you gave me no choice. Look at that. Now you’re going to have an ugly bruise. Just hold still… This won’t take too long. * …No Angie, I tried to let you do it yourself, but you can’t do anything right. Don’t worry, Angie, I’ll take away the pain. …Soon you’ll be gone and the sadness will no longer remain. Stop trying get away; you know you’re not strong enough. * …Stop screaming, Angie! Be a brave little girl! The pain will be over soon… * …I said STOP SCREAMING, B****!! You’re giving me a headache! You are such a little B****!! Here I am, trying to make things better for you, and you just lie there and scream!! No wonder no one likes you; no wonder no one cares. Now I know why everyone wishes you’d just die. …You’re almost there, Angie. You’re almost done with life. …Just a few more slices and you’ll be dead…

...You’re body’s just gone limp; you’re corpse is going cold. Get up, Angie; you don’t want to stay in there, do you? * …What a silly girl. You’re dead. That’s just your body lying on the floor. Pretty ugly, isn’t it? But it looks better than when you were alive. Eesh. No wonder no one loved you; you were such an ugly little bitch. But it doesn’t matter anymore, does it? Nooo, it doesn’t. *…What’s that, Angie? *...Why sure, you can go to see him, but he won’t know your there. You can talk to him, but he won’t hear you. You can try to touch him, but he won’t feel it. …*Gasp* Look what you’ve done, Angie! You’ve left him all alone! I thought you loved him, but obviously, you don’t. *…No, Angie. If you loved him so much, then why would you do this to him? This is all your fault. See what you’ve done? What’s wrong Angie? You don’t look so good. Don’t you like being dead? All your troubles melt away. *…What’s that? You want to leave this place? …Such a silly girl. You can’t leave. Where would you go? You can’t die; you’re already dead. You can’t go back to life. I’m sorry, Angie; you’re all alone. *…What? You are so selfish! Always thinking of yourself! *…No, I’m sorry, Angie. I can’t take him like I did with you. *…”Why not,”? Why because where’s the fun in that? I *am* a demon after all. Did you think I wanted you to be happy? Such a foolish girl… The only people that you trust are the ones that are untrue. The only way he could come to this world would be for him to kill himself. And he wouldn’t do that. He’s not as stupid as you. *…No, not even after you did. To be honest, Angie, I think he’ll be happier without you. He doesn’t have to read all your annoying emails or talk to you on the phone… He won’t have waste his time on you or pretend to care. …Why are you crying, Angie? Did you actually think somebody cared? You are such a funny girl; you crack me up, but don’t think that changes anything. …I’m sorry, Angie. This is the way it has to be. The only life for you is one of pain and misery.
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Chad said it made him smile when I finally let him read it. Smile? wink.gif ...Okay. Perhaps it was the memory of my weirdness that made him smile. Well, whatever the reason, I think this is kinda cool...at least until someone gives me the slightest negative feedback because I'm sensitive and can't always take criticism. laugh.gif
gothictheysay
I only planned to flick my eyes over it, but I was interested. What I think would be particularly interesting...I noticed the demon seemed to get more and more hostile as it went on. If you wanted to go back and edit, and make it seem happier at the beginning and slowly spiral down, I think that would be cool.

The big thing that I disliked was the use of some cliches. But you managed to make it seem a little haunting.
acid_rain_child
Ooo, I agree with gothic. Making the mood swing so rapidly like that is a great effect. I did like how the demon got more hostile. But the whole time I thought the demon was just Angie. That would be a twist too, to have Angie be psycho like that, but what do I know? It's your story, and I liked it.
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