The Matazone blog

A friend on my mailing list has emailed me to say ‘Congratulations. You have finally snatched the pebble from your master’s hand, grasshopper.’ I’ve not quite snatched it yet, there’s the viva to do yet (a one hour spoken-exam with a committee of people who know about my field of study), but it’s so close I can almost feel the leather patches attaching themselves to the elbows of my jackets.

He also sent me a link to a comic about PhDs and I felt a definite pang of recognition to this one. I don’t know what it’s like in the US, but in the UK getting a PhD actually lowers your lifetime earning potential because no-one wants to employ someone who is (on paper at least) smarter than them. It makes you question why you do it really, but then you just remember that it’s the intellectual equivalent of rock-climbing and you fall into the mantra of ‘because it’s there’ until it all goes away.

And so, the real looming question is ‘what next?’ and that’s something I just don’t know the answer to. I’ve recently experimented with a ‘normal’ job, and I was utterly miserable, which leaves the comparative poverty of self-employment, my current mish-mash of temp work and freelance web-design, or trying a radical change of occupations. To say the very least, this is a stressful time, and taking a viva seems like the least of it.

One of the things about writing a thesis is that you become the world specialist in your subject, so talking to people about it is pretty easy. You just have to remember that while they are very intelligent people, so their questions should not be dismissed, in this field you know more. From that basis you can answer anything. Well… That’s the theory.

Going back into a working environment has shown me an unexpected side effect of my studies. I now see the world in an unexpected light, somehow tangential to the way that other people seem to see it, and with this comes a strange sense of loneliness. Would I do it all again? Yes. Would I recommend it to other people? That’s definitely a more difficult question.

I’m sure a few people have said ‘spare me my life!’ during an aerobics class, and everyone else just has (sensibly) not gone to an aerobics class; however, I feel it’s slightly less likely that people have chanted ‘I was robbed by two men’, and ‘take anything you want’ could perhaps be misunderstood when chanted by three women in lyotards.

What am I on about? It’s the Zuiikin Girls, who have been trying to find an interesting way to teach English and get fit at the same time, producing what is one of the most bizarre things I’ve seen for a long time, and makes my idea for Thesercise seem positively sensible.

Actually it’s not a cannibal and it’s a heron, but ‘cannibal pelican’ had such a nice ring that I wanted to type it, though the truth of the matter is equally disturbing to those of a sensitive nature.

In the Netherlands a heron has been seen catching a rabbit, holding it under water to drown it, then swallowing it whole.

This type of heron has been known to eat frogs and rats, it is true, but the photographer Sprang Vianen couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw the bird creeping up on a young rabbit. The rabbit captured, it shrieked and struggled while being hung from its ear in the pelican’s mouth.

The bird the flew 50 metres to a ditch where he drowned the rabbit and, against all feeling of proportion, easily swallowed it whole.

This is just a warm up. They’re coming for us next. You have been warned.

You can see a couple of rather distressing photos of this odd moment in nature here.

Link initially found here, my translation of the article was aided by this and this.

Next time you’re brushing your teeth, try holding your hand still and moving your head instead. It helps if you get some good nodding music playing in the background; I suggest ‘Here Comes Your Man’ by The Pixies (UK link US link) but most things would probably work.

For bonus points you could also try using your non-favoured hand to hold the brush.

Go on, try it!

In other news, http://www.StickScene.com is nearing 350 puzzles now. Go play!

Clicky for biggie goodness!

Alien v.s Bread-eater!