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The Other Side forums - suitable for mature readers! _ Daily life _ are you a thinker or a feeler?

Posted by: Witless Sep 8 2005, 10:09 AM

Basically, do you think with your heart or your head?

Everyone does both, but we all tend to value the advice from one part of ourself over the other. Some people find it hard to do this. here's some help

Make desicions based on impersonal values
Would organise 10 most phoned friends alphabetically
Distrustful of using their feeling judgement, that can be overly biased.
Tend to critisise others more than compliment
"Truth more important than tact"

typical example:
Mr Spock from star trek deciding that while stranded on a planet, burying the dead would waste time and energy better used to staying alive. (a valid and rational point).

Make descions based on personal values
Would organise 10 most phoned friends based on how much they value each friend
Distrustful of using a logical judgement that can often ignore it's real effect on people in favour of objectivity.
Tend to compliment rather than critisise
"Tact more important than truth"

typical example:
Mr McCoy on that same episode as above pointed out that if they do not bury the dead, it will effect the morale of the survivors. (a valid and again rational point).

I think the thing to note is that both feelers and thinkers seem rational (as I see it). It's just feelers tend to base their desicions on personal values, like morals and sentiment. Thinkers use impersonal values like Justice, and objective truth.
Since both are rational ways of looking at the world they can often come to the same conclusions in many situations.

Key point however is that the very often don't. Many many big opposing debates throughout time has been a thinker vs a feeler. Note above that Both are rational. This isn't a case of rational hitlers vs emotional hippies. Very often you can use a feeling based judgement without feeling particularly emotional at all. Vice versa, a thinker can feel very passionate about his objective opinions.
This is about values, vs objective truth. We use both, but what do we trust when they conflict?

I have a theory on the distrust between the two...
I'm a thinker basically.. I have a feeling judgement I just don't use it much. As I've grown up being like this.. my feeling side hasn't really developed beyond what it was when I was much younger. As a result when I try and use my feeling judgement, it's very crap (for want of a better word). I come up with very passionate (almost childlike) desicions that seem based on nothing. Common things my feeling side comes up with are things like "I want this to be true so I'll believe it's true regardless of circumstance".

Problem is, I am tempted to believe anyone that uses feeling as their primary way of judging things are all living the world as immaturally as my feeling side does stuff. However.. I like studying people and observing and analysing.
I think I was rather wrong. Just as my thinking side's developed out pretty well because I use it a lot. Other's went down the other road. When they use feeling judgement they wield it like sword. Just as I can analyse a situation pretty fast. They can observe a situation like a conversation, and instantly gauge what's important. They seem far far keener at understand what matters to who and what, and adjusting themselves to that, than I could ever hope to be.
The fact is, when a feeler uses feeling, it is as reliable to them as when a thinker uses their thinking. But thinkers using feeling just aren't very good at it, and vice versa.

Wow... I ramble...

ok, so you guys.. feelers or thinkers?

Posted by: funky fairy Sep 8 2005, 10:38 AM

I am definitely a feeler. I would never hurt someone by saying something nasty to them. My friends are in my phone by order of which I talk to most.

Posted by: depressed lonely crazy person Sep 8 2005, 11:22 AM

Most of the time and in the short term I'm a thinker... However the longer I dwell on a thing and the tireder I am the more my feeler side comes out

Posted by: crazymat Sep 8 2005, 02:27 PM

I dont know, I could be either.. but my msn buddy list is arranged by chat log size!

Posted by: Calantyr Sep 8 2005, 04:42 PM

I would say that I am equally split between the two.

I am a very emotional person and it influences what I think and do, but it is tempered with what I think is a logical and analytical mind.

In general I feel truth and fact are the most important but my actions and dealings are generally undertaken with at least some degree of empathy.

I won't tell a friend that I think her beliefs are irrational and stupid, but at the same time I can be brutally honest and tell them that their clothes are stupid.


Posted by: {Gothic Angel} Sep 8 2005, 04:45 PM

It takes me ages to mae a decision, which is usually based on the most logical/practical thing to do which still feels right.
My 10 most phoned friends are arranged in the order of how much I phone them, which is definately not how much I value them, but nowhere near alphabetical.
Judgements are usually rational, but with feelings and emotions very much taken into consideration.
Ever heard of constructive criticism?
I will compliment someone first, point out anything which could be improved, but maintain the compliment afterwards.
Tact and truth are equally important depending on the situation.

So... what does that make me? unsure.gif

Posted by: Witless Sep 8 2005, 04:53 PM

Well.. if you believe what I believe. feeling IS rational, just different. It has a set of logic of it own, logic not based on objective truth.. (well as objective as a person can be).

I personally don't believe a person can truelly be equally split. If you have no preference to the two then neither one becomes a strong point. At best you can develop your less developed side so it's not useless, but truelly to become so you never lean on one more than the other, and balance the two 100% completely?
Hmm.. I'm yet to be convinced.

For gothic angel I'd say feeler, if i base everything all on that one post, if your doing what you think is the "right" thing to do, your feeling. I'd always say I'm trying to figure out what the "best" thing to do is. Which isn't always pleasant (certainly not for me anyway!)

Posted by: IrishGuy Sep 9 2005, 04:16 PM

According to Jung, I'm a feeler. INFP.

Posted by: Daria Sep 10 2005, 01:04 PM

I am a feeler. And then over analyse things.

Posted by: Jimmy-von-Lucidious Sep 11 2005, 09:38 AM

I'm a thinker and overly so at that, sometimes I think on a choice or situation so much that it paralyzes me in these situations particularly when I'm getting fed-up I'll make decisions based on emotion so. In this way emotional responses in me are often spontaneous.

Posted by: Witless Sep 11 2005, 09:48 AM

I'm a thinker and overly so at that, sometimes I think on a choice or situation so much that it paralyzes me in these situations particularly when I'm getting fed-up I'll make decisions based on emotion so. In this way emotional responses in me are often spontaneous.

Yeah, I do that.. my emotional responses are fairly random, and a bit childlike.. I'm quite fond of the idea that my emotional side will stay childlike to be honest. I'll let my thinking side do my growing up.

Posted by: Marriegold Sep 13 2005, 10:46 AM

I am a feeler and maybe rely on my feelings too much. I have always believed that your heart speaks louder than words (or thoughts). My friends phone numbers for exsample are in any random order because I can't group friends being better than others or that is how I feel. All my friends are important to me love them all.

Posted by: Matthew Sep 13 2005, 11:06 AM

I've been described as a robot!
I'd like to think that when needed, I can be rational and logical, but under my zen like
calm, beats the heart of an impetuous swashbuckler!

Posted by: Jonman Sep 13 2005, 11:24 AM

QUOTE (Matthew @ Sep 13 2005, 12:06 PM)
I've been described as a robot!
I'd like to think that when needed, I can be rational and logical, but under my zen like   
calm, beats the heart of an impetuous swashbuckler!

*waves at Matt*

Surely, if you're a robot, you wouldn't have a heart, swashbuckling or not?


Me? I'm a thinker. None of that emotional-rubbish to cloud my judgement.

Posted by: Matthew Sep 13 2005, 11:41 AM

* Looks around tearfully as his dreams of being a pirate crumble under Jonmans cold
unfeeling logic... *


* Looks puzzled as thinks long and hard... Aha!
Cyborgs!!!! *


Posted by: Jonman Sep 13 2005, 12:43 PM

QUOTE (Matthew @ Sep 13 2005, 12:41 PM)
* Looks around tearfully as his dreams of being a pirate crumble under Jonmans cold   
    unfeeling logic... *

* Looks puzzled as thinks long and hard... Aha!
    Cyborgs!!!! * 


Exactly. Robot pirates >> pirates.

See? Logic wins out once again.

Posted by: pgrmdave Sep 13 2005, 03:10 PM

I'm primarily a thinker, but I've spent a lot of time trying to develop my feeling side, and it really helps sometimes. I'm able to relate to people easier, and I can choose which mode of thinking is more necessary at the time.

Posted by: little_bear Sep 14 2005, 01:59 PM

QUOTE (Jonman @ Sep 13 2005, 01:43 PM)
QUOTE (Matthew @ Sep 13 2005, 12:41 PM)
* Looks around tearfully as his dreams of being a pirate crumble under Jonmans cold   
    unfeeling logic... *

* Looks puzzled as thinks long and hard... Aha!
    Cyborgs!!!! * 


Exactly. Robot pirates >> pirates.

See? Logic wins out once again.

Robot ninjas > Robot pirates.

And that's science kids.

Posted by: Sir_Psycho_Sexy Sep 14 2005, 09:13 PM

Now this makes me wonder, is the saying "Life's a tragedy for feelers and a comedy for thinkers" true?

Posted by: Jimmy-von-Lucidious Sep 16 2005, 03:18 AM

Hmmm well being a thinker I find much in the world illogical and frustrating but I love even these things for it would appear beauty exist every where even in the darkest most lonely places. But I'm not one for much laughter.
And I suppose for feelers the world can be like heaven and hell in relatively sort spaces of time depending on what is occurring to them at any given time. I suppose it depends on just what gets this feeler down too. Like I know some people that spend most of their life down because of the starvation and destruction we vist on our own kind despite the fact that there is far more wealth and resources to go around everyone.

"Life's a tragedy for feelers and a comedy for thinkers" - So yes I guess in general terms this could be applicable.

Posted by: uninspired pizza guy Sep 16 2005, 03:43 AM

Yeah i agree with that entirely. I know that I am a thinker, though and through. But when it comes to emotional things, im nothing more than a child. Although i do differenciate(sp?) about 50/50

Posted by: syuu May 21 2010, 05:15 AM

I'm pretty sure I started out as a feeler, but lately I've morphed into a big thinker - no emotional decision gets approved without being thoroughly thought through, weighed, and tested. It is only allowed if it has a completely positive outcome. ;)

But I do like complimenting people a lot! It's nice when others realize their stronger points and are thanked for them.

Posted by: CarefulMarshmallowHiddenDragon May 21 2010, 07:48 AM

Holy necroposting batman!

I think both categories as you've defined them are pretty meaningless. WTF is objective truth? Lots of decisions involve personal values, and acknowledging peoples feelings doesn't make an action illogical. It's how you make judgements based on those values that is logical or illogical. Most of the time the justifications are pretty illogical (or non existent) because people have all kinds of biases and behaviour is influenced a lot by what sort of mood you're in, but social skills and empathy have nothing to do with it.

Also, where do you categorise a heartless idiot?

Posted by: syuu May 21 2010, 08:20 AM

heartless idiot would be a thinker, I'm assuming. wink.gif

Posted by: Mata May 21 2010, 12:47 PM

I couldn't draw a line in the sand between the ways that I make choices. I've deliberately learnt how to be emotional... Which seems to contradict both states! I became a thinker because of an emotional breakdown, so am I now a thinker who is relearning how to feel, or a feeler who has been forced to think?

Posted by: EvilSpoon May 21 2010, 04:10 PM

That's a hard thing to answer about oneself... I would say I'm quite a bit of both and that it really depends upon the situation I'm put in.

Posted by: syuu May 24 2010, 01:06 AM

Yes, we all know that everyone is everything and we are all capable of exhibiting qualities of both because we are unique snowflakes that don't fit into ~categories~. The thread itself isn't in issues, and I'd assume that implies a little bit more lightheartedness than paragraph-long lectures about what objective truth is. I assumed the question was a general one inviting people to discuss who they are and how they feel they might portray themselves in certain situations. It wasn't intended to box anyone in as black or white.

and Mata - I had a similar experience. It seems like the more trauma a person goes through, the more likely they are to lean closer to the thinker side of the spectrum.

Posted by: Witless May 24 2010, 01:23 AM

Ok, will post in my own topic again.

This was never meant to be a polarising type decussion, perhaps I am more articulate now than when I made the topic.

I believe everyone is essentially everything. We're all emotional, logical, biased, objective, saintly, evil, clever and idiots at times. But we have comfort zones. What's your default reaction when you don't get enough time to consider things for a while? Gut feeling or logic?

I know full well that in relationships I always ask people to have patience with me, because if they ask for my knee jerk response to a question or situation, they will get cold thinking logic in response as my reaction without time. It takes a little longer for the rest of my personality to react as that thinking side to myself.

It's faster, and more of my 'default' than the feeling aspect to myself. It's not that the emotional feeling self is not there or weak, on the contrary. I am rarely ever happy unless it's as satisfied as any other part of myself. But I know it's slower to react and act in my life.

Hope that clarifies.

Posted by: Yannick May 24 2010, 01:53 AM

I've been thinking about this for a while, and have come to the conclusion that it's complicated. >_>

I feel in the sense that I value myself above everything (aside from possibly future children?), so every decision I make will be based on personal values. However, this can be classified as thinking, because as an animal, it makes sense to strive to preserve oneself and aim for happiness. Which is feeling, because I'd rather feel happy than make the right choice. However, I would think about things first before instinctively jumping into what makes me happy. ..Thinker by nature, feeler by choiceish? I don't know.. =/ To me, a lot of the time it seems like I'll spend forever overanalyzing a situation, but at the same time, only because I feel so strongly for it. Other times, I'm completely indifferent and can't think because I don't care enough. It's almost as if my thinking and feeling rely on each other, and without them, I can't function. My "knee jerk" reaction doesn't go either way, I think I do them both simultaneously, and don't act until I've reached some sort of consensus between the two.

Posted by: Daria May 25 2010, 12:11 PM

I'm a feeler.

I'm also a groper.

Posted by: EvilSpoon May 25 2010, 12:38 PM

QUOTE (Daria @ May 25 2010, 08:11 AM) *
I'm a feeler.

I'm also a groper.

And I'm a poper.

I have a thing for popes. Mmmm... Pope...

Posted by: I_am_the_best May 25 2010, 12:49 PM

I'm a thinker when giving other people advice, a feeler for myself. Ha.
I should probably change that. Maybe. i dunno.
It's hard to separate the two.

Posted by: Lurker in the Dark May 26 2010, 09:05 PM

Thinker to the point of coming across as a heartless bastard occasionally. But then I did do a degree in CS so it's kind of explicable.

Posted by: winli Jun 23 2010, 08:10 AM

I dont know, I could be either.. tongue.gif tongue.gif tongue.gif


Posted by: craziness Jun 25 2010, 05:17 AM

I'm definitely more of a feeler but I try to be objective and act as a thinker would act. However, it's really hard because I tend to get emotionally involved. I agree with Mata and Syuu that the more trama we go through, the more 'thinker' we become.... ultimately finding the perfect balance would be enlightenment

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