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> Rape, A question
Kitty
post Dec 5 2004, 03:57 AM
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I've never been raped, and I dont know anyone personally who has, but I heard about someone the other day.... it just sortah brought it to my attention. Why would someone do it? Its sick, its wrong, it ruins peoples lives. Why do they do it? If they really f***ing wanted to they could go pay a prostitute instead of picking an innocent victim.

I just dont understand, does anyone know why someone would do something so cruel?

EDIT: I know this is an emotive subject but try to tone the language down a bit smile.gif

This post has been edited by saucy_tara: Dec 5 2004, 02:02 PM


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Righteous
post Dec 5 2004, 04:42 AM
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It's not just the sex. I mean, yeah, there's always a way to get laid, but for them, it's not just the sex. Often, the rapist has a hatred toward women (there's a big Feudian explanation, but I don't feel like typing it out) and uses rape as a way to show power over women. The sex usually is secondary. There is no real textbook rapist, but they usually have these psycholological features in some form or fasion. It's not just with women; men rape other men for power purposes. It does destroy someone's dignity when being pressed down and penetrated, regardless of gender.

On a side note. My cousin had a friend that was date raped by a chick. They were making out and she wanted to go but he didn't. She pulled it out of his pants and went to work on him. He went to the cops and got laughed at.

I hate cops almost as much as I hate rapists.


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Kitty
post Dec 5 2004, 02:15 PM
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I'm starting to hate cops more and more now that I hear more stories about them. Grr....

I never really thought of it as wanting power or having hatred .... thats rather intresting, but it makes sense, I suppose....

I just remembered I had a friend tell me some guy would touch him all last year and he was terrified that he'd get raped in the school gym, by a guy. I find that rather sad....


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Sir Psycho Sexy
post Dec 5 2004, 02:42 PM
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Don't forget there are people who have rape fantasies, most people will stick to roleplay or find people that have a similar fantasy (something like a BDSM thing, you have a top and bottom). Of course you get people that will go further for their kicks...

Righteous, I don't put much worth in Freud, the man who put pretty much all things down to penis envy....

(oh, and prostitutes cost money, not everyone has money)


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Kitty
post Dec 5 2004, 03:15 PM
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Well theres always willing sluts out there if you dont have money for a prostitute.

Okay I feel mean now....

I'd ask why in the world someone would have a fantasy about raping someone, but people have weird fantasies for all the weirdest reasons and I dont think theres a real reason someone would have a fantasy about raping someone.

But it does make sense that someone would want to rape someone to show their powerful, even if its one of Feuds theories.

But who knows? I've never talked to a rapist.


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Righteous
post Dec 5 2004, 08:27 PM
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Well, SPS, you must recognise that biologically, our purpose is to have sex and make babies. If that's the case, why wouldn't sex be at the core of our psychology then? And it's not just penis envy. Don't forget the Oetipus complex.

And even sluts have standards, K!77y.


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Sir Psycho Sexy
post Dec 5 2004, 09:11 PM
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I never stated sex isn't at the core of our psychology, but I don't see why a person who loaths women to such a degree as to want to hurt them, would have sex with them even if it is forced on them, it just doesn't add up in my mind.

With reference to Freud, I was commenting that most, if not all of his teaching/ideas/writings have been rubbished by modern psychology.

Oh, and I think you ment Oedipus complex....google didn't have anything on Oetipus complex tongue.gif


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lar_di_dar
post Dec 5 2004, 09:49 PM
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rape doesnt just affect the person who was raped, it affects their whole family, friends and life. my couson was raped and her friends thought she was attention seeking and never talked to her again and because she had no friends she wouldnt go outside for about 2 months because she was afraid it would happen again. worst thing was that i know who it was but the pigs (filth, police whatever you want to call them) wouldnt do anything.


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Righteous
post Dec 6 2004, 12:53 AM
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I never said I was the best at spelling, SPS.

Anyhow, I'm not a strick Freudian, but I'm still a big fan of a lot of his principles. One of his premier students was Maria Montessori and I was astounded by her books The Absorbent Mind and The Secret of Childhood (though I read only parts of the second).

Dig this: We as humans want to show power over the things we hate and fear, particularly people. Sex is often used for such a purpose. I heard a story of a bunch of white cops sodomizing a black suspect with a plunger handle while handcuffed to a toilet. They did it to show power over the guy. Soldiers rape captive women and children, once again, to show power. It's not the sex; it's the taking advantage of a helpless person. I would classify it with torture as it empowers whomever's doing it and destroys the dignity of the victim. There have been cases where American soldiers have raped captive Iraqi men because Islam is hardcore against homosexuality and it would forever shame the victims.

Granted, not all cases of rape are based solely on those charracteristics of the perpitrator, but more often than not, they're factors in the rapist's thinking.

As sick at it is, it makes sense to me. I don't agree with it. In fact, I think that the world would be a lot better off if God were to painfully strike down every rapist on Earth, but that's neither here nor there.


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PsychWardMike
post Dec 6 2004, 01:45 AM
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I'm attracted by the potential for reckless abuse of power.
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*sigh*

My friend has a stalker and he tried to rape her tonight. Goddamn it. Just... goddamnit.


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voices_in_my_hea...
post Dec 6 2004, 02:31 AM
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It completly angers me to even think of the subject. The people who do it know that the thing (most) women fear most is rape. These people, just make me so...grrr! okay, I need to calm down...
Mike, did you phone the police?


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PsychWardMike
post Dec 6 2004, 02:33 AM
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The people running the hotel in which she resides (over booking in the college dorms) did. If there are any religious out there, prayers would be appreciated. For the rest, give her a little thought, okay?


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voices_in_my_hea...
post Dec 6 2004, 02:35 AM
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she has my prayers, for one.
I wouldn't know, personly, how it feels.
but it has happened to someone Very close to me. and I share her pain.


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PsychWardMike
post Dec 6 2004, 02:52 AM
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Suffice it to say it's not fun. I was mollested as a kid, so I empathize with her. It's just a matter of keeping her from suicide, reassuring her of her beauty, and reassuring her that there are people who love her. Thanks for prayers.


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Kitty
post Dec 6 2004, 03:32 AM
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I'm sorry for your friend, SPS, I wont pray for her because I dont pray.... but I'll definatley have her in my thoughts.

I was molested as a kid too, not seriously I suppose. A kid in my class just really liked grabbing my crotch.... I dont think in the long run its affected me that much, but as I said, it wasnt too serious of an issue. I didnt realize what had happened till about 4 years later when I unlocked that memory and was shocked to realize what had happened. I felt disgusted with myself for a while for not stopping him but, I got over it.

Its not the same thing with rape though, I cant imagine going through any of that pain so I admire anyone who can live afterwards.

As for Freudian theory.... as far as I know the guy was a nut job. I havent read anything of his yet, though, and I think I just about gave up on setting a reason as to why people do things because I guess everyone has their own reason


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Fluffy
post Dec 6 2004, 03:59 AM
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I haven't been here in a while, and I was just planning on lurking when I wandered here this day. But, this is a topic I have very strong feelings on.

First and foremost, PsychWardMike, I will be sure to keep your friend in my prayers. Second of all, normally I try to be as forgiving as I can be, but this is the exception. While I cannot judge another being for sure I do have my opinions. And, my opinion is that rapists are the scum of the Earth. And, while I don't believe that anyone deserves to die, I believe that our justice system should give any and all rapists the most severe punishment possible. I was molested less than two years ago, by my own cousin at that. And, while I'm sure it's already understood, I'll say it just for good measure, it is not easy to get over the self-loathing, the horrible rage, and the depression. I've managed by now, besides for possibly a bit of anger (made obvious by this post). With nothing left to say on this for now, I conclude my post. Farewell.


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beleraphon
post Dec 6 2004, 07:30 AM
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I know a guy who was raped by another man in a nightclub.

That was at least 5 or 6 years ago and he's still very very messed up, insecure, unable to settle in any place for more than a few month, in a real state.
To begin with we had self harm, suicide attempts, drug abuse, anything to take the mental pain and memory away.

Rape is definatly one of the worst things, its the total invasion of your body a total betrayal of trust and respect for another human being. It is both physically and psychologically damaging. Add to this the social stigma and taboo attached, to get the rapist prosicuted the victim has to go through a tremendous ordeal and you have one of the nastyiest crimes.

PWM - I hope your friend is ok, and the scum that attacked her is dealt with (legally or not...)


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Feyliya
post Dec 6 2004, 08:23 AM
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One of my best friends in middle school was raped. Then a few months later she spontaniously aborted the baby that resulted. Instead of going suicidal, she turned into the school slut. During high school she was in one abusive relationship after another. And she couldn't keep the few decent boyfriends she did have because she would cheat on them with jerks. She ended up dropping out, pregnant, junior year. She's currently married to her baby's "father". I feel for her, and for her baby (Babies by now. She was pregnant with twins when I left SC), but there's nothing I can do to help her anymore. I tried my best to snap her out of things and make her see her life for what it was, but all that it resulted in was anger, avoidance, and resentment. I try my best to be there for her, but I am not doing a very good job of it. I live clear across the country, now, and she doesn't have internet access.

My fiancee's younger cousin was raped when she was 12. In fact, my fiancee is the main witness in the trial. The rapist is claiming that the sex was consentual, and that he didn't know the girl's age, but my fiancee told him just how old she was when he expressed an interest. She's turned herself into a little slut, too. She sleeps around with men so old _I_ wouldn't date them, she currently has a 19 year old boyfriend who she is sexually active with, she dresses in clothing so skimpy it leaves little to the imagination, she wears so much makeup she looks 30, she does drugs, and she won't go to school. Her trial hasn't happened yet, and thanks to her behavior over the past year the rapist will probably get off with a statuatory rape charge.

I just don't get it. I know it's a response that happens because they want to feel like they can still be loved, but I still don't get it. I don't think I ever will, either.

Stick close to your friend, Mike. Keep her from doing something now that she'll regret later. Don't let her get locked into a depression/love seeking cycle like that. She'll be in my thoughts.


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voices_in_my_hea...
post Dec 6 2004, 01:37 PM
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I used to live in housten where almost every day,at the beginning of the news, they would do about two(at least) reaports on rape. And I was scared, since most of the rapes were happening to girls close to my age. But, now I have moved to a MUCH smaller town with my family. Since I have moved here, I haven't heard fo a single rape, even in the large town next to us.
PWM- I have prayed for your friend,and so has my family.


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porcelainwarrior
post Dec 6 2004, 07:37 PM
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I had a friend who was abused on the train going to college on more than one occasion by the same man, a guy who rode the train regularly at the same time as him. My friend went to the police after a while and then to court, it resulted in a hung jury and a re-trial was ordered, the guy got off on it. How somone can do that repeatedly in a public place is beyond me, it's like the incident recently over here where a pregnant woman wasn't offered a seat on a busy train and ended up getting hit in the stomach resulting in an miscarriage, or another story from a few years back when a girl was beat up by a gang of drunk men in a crowded train and was offered no help until the gang left the train at the next station. It's disgusting how so many people try to put blinkers on when there's something wrong in the world. Even when it's going on right next to them.


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voices_in_my_hea...
post Dec 9 2004, 02:57 AM
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It's kind of (in my opinion) a discusting human trait. We know we should do something... but we could get hurt... or... we don't know what to do...or...well, the list could go on forever. we don't do anything because it might bother US somehow, and it envolves effort. and we don't want to do anything that won't bring us some sort of reward.


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Her dignity shone so bright like a light on a hill
and she burned for me, no other man came near her flame.
Bad country songs - the deafening twang of the rich white kid blues.
You can own the strange, but the lights and glares will not make you real.
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trunks_girl26
post Dec 9 2004, 03:09 AM
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Rape is almost never about sex. It's about showing domination over another person. The rapist feels inferior to the person he rapes, so he feels that somehow he must "show her who is boss" so to speak.

Hope that's a bit helpful

-Ange


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Kitty
post Dec 10 2004, 12:50 AM
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My life is full of coincidences lately, and somehow I ended up reading a book that has alot to do about this murderer who rapes people alot. That and I watched Pulp Fiction....

Now I'm very numb to the subject, I wonder if its because I hear about it and it no longer takes its toll on me, or if its just a reflexive self-defense sort of thing my brain does.


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Sir Psycho Sexy
post Dec 10 2004, 02:04 AM
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I find it very hard to class rape as an act of domination, there are outlets for such things, I see it more as an act of lust or obsession or desperation, that doesn't make it any more forgivalble, mike, your friend has...well I have nothing of value to offer....that bothers me somewhat, it's like having no food to give to the hungry....though I could point my dad at the offender...he's big and hairy and scary wink.gif


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Kitty
post Dec 10 2004, 02:21 AM
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Well, SPS, the last part of your post totally went over my head. So I'll just.... ignore it. happy.gif

Maybe rape can be classified into an act of domination, lust, obsession. Humans are strange creatures.... not to be understood or put into textbook terms


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