 Forgiveness, Is it truly possible? |
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 Jul 1 2005, 02:15 PM
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#1
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 Member  Group: New Members Posts: 15 Joined: 28-June 05 From: 200 miles from salvation, 100 miles from hope, 20 from despair. Member No.: 1,866 Gender: Male  |
If someone in a moment of pure and blind stupidity did an almost unspeakably horrible thing. Betraying the trust of friends and playing to there worst fears.
Could they ever be truly forgiven? Or are they to be left with there deserved guilt, alone forever? -------------------- "I have become a destroyer of worlds" Frank Oppenheimer
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Jul 1 2005, 02:26 PM
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#2
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 Depressed, Lonely and getting crazier by the day! Group: Established Members Posts: 907 Joined: 14-November 04 From: Armidale NSW Australia Member No.: 1,469 Gender: Female |
QUOTE Or are they to be left with there deserved guilt, alone forever? The way my old friends saw it yes. But it is very harsh inmost situations and would you really want to send your friend as close to suicidal as I was for 6 months after my friends left me? -------------------- Vote Brian Molko for ruler of the whole world in 2007
I'm only wearing black till they make something darker There's no I in team but there is a ME if you re-arange the letters! |
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Jul 1 2005, 10:59 PM
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#3
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 'Trouble Down Pit' now online! Group: Admin Posts: 10,141 Joined: 22-February 03 From: Southern UK Member No.: 1 Gender: Male |
I think it very much depends on the situation. If it is in physical life and they are a person that you see regularly then forgiveness is one of those things that is necessary to continue a reasonably happy life. If it is with friends online then I think it's unlikely that people can ever fully regain trust. The web is wide enough that people who have annyoed others can go and find new groups, equally the people who have been offended have a large range of other people who haven't betrayed them to be socialable with so it's unlikely that a previously intensely disruptive would ever be welcomed back.
The web isn't like physical life where you have to get on with people. It's very easy to be annoyed by someone and if you wish you can never talk to them again. It's one of the good things (arguably a negative thing when used without patience) about the web, that you don't have to compromise your feelings when you have felt truly betrayed by someone. So, like I say, I think it depends on the context. -------------------- Trouble Down Pit: Still updated every Monday and Friday
The Matazone Games blog The Matazone Shop The Matazone Blog The Matazone Corset Shop: Snobz corsets at 10% off their recommended price! |
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Jul 2 2005, 11:45 AM
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#4
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 I could have written a short novel by this point Group: Banned Posts: 1,748 Joined: 19-October 04 From: Shropshire, UK. Member No.: 1,378 Gender: Male |
I'd like to think it's possible to forgive someone for practically everything. It would really depend on what had 'occured'. There are certain things for which forgiveness is hard, if not impossible (for me, at least), like, oh I dunno ... adultery or forgiving someone who was responsible for the death of a loved one.
-------------------- People should not be afraid of their governments, governments should be afraid of their people.
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Jul 2 2005, 06:29 PM
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#5
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 sesquipedalian Group: Established Members Posts: 717 Joined: 3-February 04 From: der Mond Member No.: 915 Gender: Secret |
It's difficult when you feel like the person deserves to reap what they sowed. But forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean you need to get all chummy again. You can forgive from a distance. Letting someone know that you're not stewing with bitterness is healing on both sides. It doesn't mean you even need to talk to them again, or even trust them. It's possible to remove yourself from the lives of people who have hurt you without being vengeful, or even simply unpleasant to them. It's an emotional strain to nurse a grudge. Just move on with your life.
EDIT: Darn compy double posted. Sorry bout that. -------------------- -Grammar Nazi-quotes of the yesterday
It is only in his work that an artist can find reality and satisfaction, for the actual world is less intense than the world of his invention and consequently his life, without recourse to violent disorder, does not seem very substantial. -Tennessee Williams |
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Jul 3 2005, 02:16 AM
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#6
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 There is glass between us...! Group: Established Members Posts: 265 Joined: 24-April 04 From: Denial Member No.: 1,091 Gender: Male |
Well, I think it's really up to you. I, for example, will forgive anyone just about anything. You really need to look inside and see if forgiving them will make you happy. Or if not happy, at least better off.
But as to your phrasing of 'deserved guilt'-- I don't think that guilt is ever undeserved. -------------------- "Hell is... other people." No Exit by Jean-Paul Sartre.
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Jul 3 2005, 02:49 AM
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#7
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 I'm attracted by the potential for reckless abuse of power. Group: Established Members Posts: 2,683 Joined: 7-May 04 From: Viewtiful World Member No.: 1,105 Gender: Male |
Hmm... I dunno. It really all depends on the situation, the action, all that jazz. I tend to try to forgive and forget, but it's often more of a case of forgive but never forget. I'm with AU - forgiveness often helps and heals but does not necessitate the inclussion of the offending party in daily life. But in the end, you gotta do what you feel is right.
Good luck. -------------------- I'm just a Viewtiful Girl living in a Viewtiful World.
Henshin a-go-go, baby. I swear to God, the above post was not intended to incite flame wars or to offend you. |
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Jul 8 2005, 09:30 PM
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#8
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Member Group: New Members Posts: 15 Joined: 28-June 05 From: 200 miles from salvation, 100 miles from hope, 20 from despair. Member No.: 1,866 Gender: Male |
QUOTE (Mata @ Jul 1 2005, 10:59 PM) If it is with friends online then I think it's unlikely that people can ever fully regain trust. The web is wide enough that people who have annyoed others can go and find new groups, equally the people who have been offended have a large range of other people who haven't betrayed them to be socialable with so it's unlikely that a previously intensely disruptive would ever be welcomed back. The web isn't like physical life where you have to get on with people. It's very easy to be annoyed by someone and if you wish you can never talk to them again. It's one of the good things (arguably a negative thing when used without patience) about the web, that you don't have to compromise your feelings when you have felt truly betrayed by someone.  Ok I'll get my coat -------------------- "I have become a destroyer of worlds" Frank Oppenheimer
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Aug 26 2005, 08:52 PM
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#9
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 Browncoat Group: Established Members Posts: 1,547 Joined: 18-August 05 From: Out in the black Member No.: 1,958 Gender: Female |
Hope that everything's worked out with the person who betrayed you. We're here if you want to talk about some more.
-------------------- Sometimes we can choose the path we follow. Sometimes our choices are made for us. And sometimes we have no choice at all. ~Morpheus, King of Dreams
I am a leaf on the wind. See me soar.      |
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Aug 27 2005, 01:42 AM
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#10
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 I could have written a short novel by this point Group: Established Members Posts: 1,959 Joined: 12-May 04 From: Victoria B.C. Member No.: 1,112 Gender: Female |
How do you feel you were betrayed? Was it here on Matazone?
--------------------      It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion, It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning, It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. - SpeakertotheLost |
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Aug 27 2005, 06:07 PM
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#11
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 I don't need no stinkin' title Group: New Members Posts: 977 Joined: 26-February 03 From: midlands, england Member No.: 38 |
I think it depends how you see forgiveness. People can move on, get over things and even be friends again. But to forget is to not learn anything, and I don't think people can ever look at the other person in the same way again, and if you look at them differently and cannot learn to trust them again, are they forgiven?
I know I find it very hard to forgive people, because when I have tried to in the past they just hurt me again. Do I think it is possible to totally forgive people? Yes. But it takes a better person then me to do it. -------------------- I'll sleep when i'm alive and live when i'm dead.
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