I'm not in love anymore, I don't love him Options

[sweetnsway18]

I thought it was just a phase and maybe it is. But I really do not love my boyfriend anymore, when I tell him "I love you" I feel false. I've been with him for almost 16 months and we've been living together on and off the entire time.
I even cheated on him this past summer, I was just looking for a way out. Unfortunately, he forgave me right away and took me back. I wanted him to kick me out, to shout and scream at me. Instead he stayed quiet and told me he knew it was going to happen and that he had already made up his mind to forgive me.
So I thought eventually everyting would be fine and perhaps I really was in love with him. For the past 2 months, I've been wanting to move out, but can't due to circumstances. So I've been trying to improve our apartment. I guess trying to find myself and make it seem like I'm ok. But I'm not ok.

I used to care when he'd stay out, go out, or not call. Now he calls all the time to check in and to check on me, and I'd rather he not. I just blantly don't care anymore. We're like two stragers living together who have sex on occasion, but literally do not spend any time together. I'm not complaining, it's just that I don't want to spend anytime with him. I'd rather be by myself.

So my question is will this pass? I'm absolutely miserable and don't know if I'm willing to stick around and find out.

[pgrmdave]

No, this will not pass. You don't love him, and you probably never will.

[Usurper MrTeapot]

If you don't love him, stop telling him you do.

[Calantyr]

Break up. It'll be for the best in the long run. It would also be fairer on your partner after the initial hurt is over. I just hope you can stand on your own feet financially when you do or things will get HARD.

[bryden42]

what prgrm dave said, Only I'll add this, It doesn't get any better or easier it will just get worse. You will probably end up breaking up on bad terms if you let it carry on, Your boyfriend will probably notice at some point and try to do something about it and you will probably start to feel smothered/ resentful/ pestered by him.

My suggestion is to end it now. If you honestly feel this way, for your own sanity and his end it.

[Bragi]

No, I don't think it will pass. It's a problem which I've heard fairly often before, notably in the case of one of my friends who was unhappy for the last year of a four year relationship - and the instant they did break up, the change was noticeable.

It's not really fair to keep up a facade, not if you genuinely don't feel that way any more. Even over sixteen months, people can changwe, both in attitudes an personality, an awful lot, and the longer it keeps going, the more bitterness there will be in the break-up.