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> Soliciting to a Moron, yet another story
The Travis
post Nov 27 2005, 11:20 PM
Post #1


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So today I was chatting it up in IRC, enjoying my life when suddenly there was a knock at the door. Who could it be, I wondered. I backflipped away from the computer and towards the door. When I arrived, I looked through the peephole in the door. Ok, it wasn't a peephole, it was just a bullet hole in the door.

I was shocked to find that it was no one that I knew. Shocked. It was an elderly couple. "OH NOES!" I said, "They must be lost, or in grave danger. Also, they are quite old." I opened the door looked them straight in the eye and said, "Yo."

Old man- "Young man, this is not solicitation in any way. We are not trying to sell you anything. Only trying to enrich your life."

Me- "Enrich it how? Like with gold? Chocolate? Gold covered chocolate, and the chocolate is covering more gold? Explain yourself!"

Old man- "I come to help you young people, for you are heading down a road of destruction."

Me- "OHHHh like that song. "HIiiiiighway to the DANGER ZONE, DANGER ZONE!"

Old man- "What we offer is free bu-"

Me- "I'll take seven. And I'm not paying more than 20 a piece."

Old man- "What?"

Me- "..... your mother."

Old man- "This is what I was talking about. Young people today have no respect and will forever burn in the evil firey burning hellish hellfire."

Me- "Pyooo pyoooo."

Old man- "Son, you need to listen to me."

Me- "How can I listen to you if I... got your nose! Got your nose! OH! OOOOH! Got your nose."

Old man- "First of all you don't have my nose. Secondly, what does that have to doe with you listening to me?"

Me- "I'll tell you, but it's going to cost you SIXTEEN MILLION DOLLARS!"

Old man- "Go to hell."

I'm still not sure what he wanted, but he sure was neat.


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QUOTE(The Lorax @ Jan 12 2006, 11:51 PM)
QUOTE(The Travis @ Dec 29 2005, 05:52 PM)
HAY GUYS WUTS GOIN ON IN TEH INTRANET!!!???!?!??!??!?!?!???!??[right][snapback]327211[/snapback][/right]
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little_bear
post Nov 27 2005, 11:37 PM
Post #2


I could have written a short novel by this point
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-4 Respect Points

+2 Ignorance Points.

Dude, what is happening to you?


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Mata
post Nov 28 2005, 02:06 AM
Post #3


'Trouble Down Pit' now online!
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I generally pick holes in their Bible interpretations. I like the way that they've made their own translation that supports them better than other ones.


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The Travis
post Nov 28 2005, 02:08 AM
Post #4


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Little Bear: You do know this was a fake story right? A joke. You want the real story?

I sat there and talked to them for about 5 minutes. I took a brochure, and was very polite. I did this even though I had just woken up, any sort of door to door activity is not allowed in this apartment, and I am not a catholic.


--------------------
What do you mean you don't know me? I'm in IRC all the time.
QUOTE(The Lorax @ Jan 12 2006, 11:51 PM)
QUOTE(The Travis @ Dec 29 2005, 05:52 PM)
HAY GUYS WUTS GOIN ON IN TEH INTRANET!!!???!?!??!??!?!?!???!??[right][snapback]327211[/snapback][/right]
I. Love. You.
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trunks_girl26
post Nov 28 2005, 02:41 AM
Post #5


o_O
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QUOTE (little_bear @ Nov 27 2005, 11:37 PM)
-4 Respect Points

+2 Ignorance Points.

Dude, what is happening to you?
*


Now now, the story itself is amusing.

Try to come at it from a neutral standpoint, ne? wink.gif


--------------------
The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return -Moulin Rouge
"Religion is a finger pointing ot the moon, but some people confuse the finger with the moon."
Truth is subjectivity - Kierkegaard
"I don't know anything; I never knew anything, but now I know I don't know"
"The important thing isn't to know Jesus, Mohamed or Buddah, but to know what they know"
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LoLo
post Nov 28 2005, 02:53 AM
Post #6


Kiefer > Jason
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I liked it very much. It make me laugh, and cry, and then I died.


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The Travis
post Nov 28 2005, 02:56 AM
Post #7


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QUOTE (LoLo @ Nov 27 2005, 08:53 PM)
I liked it very much.  It make me laugh, and cry, and then I died.
*


What have I done? Why does this always happen to me?

*hides body under rug and walks nonchalantly away*


--------------------
What do you mean you don't know me? I'm in IRC all the time.
QUOTE(The Lorax @ Jan 12 2006, 11:51 PM)
QUOTE(The Travis @ Dec 29 2005, 05:52 PM)
HAY GUYS WUTS GOIN ON IN TEH INTRANET!!!???!?!??!??!?!?!???!??[right][snapback]327211[/snapback][/right]
I. Love. You.
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LoLo
post Nov 28 2005, 03:52 AM
Post #8


Kiefer > Jason
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QUOTE (The Travis @ Nov 27 2005, 06:56 PM)
QUOTE (LoLo @ Nov 27 2005, 08:53 PM)
I liked it very much. It make me laugh, and cry, and then I died.
*


What have I done? Why does this always happen to me?

*hides body under rug and walks nonchalantly away*
*


You know when I revive I may smother to death and be dead again. Darn rugs.


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PsychWardMike
post Nov 28 2005, 03:55 AM
Post #9


I'm attracted by the potential for reckless abuse of power.
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Little bear is a fickle mistress, really.

I enjoyed the story. Did they give you them church cookies?


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I swear to God, the above post was not intended to incite flame wars or to offend you.
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trunks_girl26
post Nov 28 2005, 03:59 AM
Post #10


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QUOTE (PsychWardMike @ Nov 28 2005, 03:55 AM)
Little bear is a fickle mistress, really.

I enjoyed the story.  Did they give you them church cookies?
*


He's not really, once you take the time to get to know him.

Though he can be a bear at times wink.gif

*slinks away from bad-pun land*


--------------------
The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return -Moulin Rouge
"Religion is a finger pointing ot the moon, but some people confuse the finger with the moon."
Truth is subjectivity - Kierkegaard
"I don't know anything; I never knew anything, but now I know I don't know"
"The important thing isn't to know Jesus, Mohamed or Buddah, but to know what they know"
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The Travis
post Nov 28 2005, 04:13 AM
Post #11


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QUOTE (PsychWardMike @ Nov 27 2005, 09:55 PM)
Little bear is a fickle mistress, really.

I enjoyed the story.  Did they give you them church cookies?
*


No, they didn't. That would have been awesome. Mmmm cookies.


--------------------
What do you mean you don't know me? I'm in IRC all the time.
QUOTE(The Lorax @ Jan 12 2006, 11:51 PM)
QUOTE(The Travis @ Dec 29 2005, 05:52 PM)
HAY GUYS WUTS GOIN ON IN TEH INTRANET!!!???!?!??!??!?!?!???!??[right][snapback]327211[/snapback][/right]
I. Love. You.
Go to the top of the page
 
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vicrawr
post Nov 28 2005, 04:33 AM
Post #12



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QUOTE (The Travis @ Nov 27 2005, 11:13 PM)
QUOTE (PsychWardMike @ Nov 27 2005, 09:55 PM)
Little bear is a fickle mistress, really.

I enjoyed the story.  Did they give you them church cookies?
*


No, they didn't. That would have been awesome. Mmmm cookies.
*



You should always keep some eucharistic wafers on hand for just that sort of thing.
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Astarael
post Nov 28 2005, 09:36 PM
Post #13


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We rarely get any in our neighborhood. I'm far more annoyed by the televangelists blaring their guts out for hours with their own "everything sucks but Jesus" interpretations of the Bible. *sighs* I'm just glad that it's possible to change the channel.
But wafers taste foul. Have some yummy chocolate chip cookies around and people are putty in your hands. ph34r.gif


--------------------
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little_bear
post Nov 28 2005, 10:09 PM
Post #14


I could have written a short novel by this point
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QUOTE (trunks_girl26 @ Nov 28 2005, 03:41 AM)
QUOTE (little_bear @ Nov 27 2005, 11:37 PM)
-4 Respect Points

+2 Ignorance Points.

Dude, what is happening to you?
*

Now now, the story itself is amusing.

Try to come at it from a neutral standpoint, ne? wink.gif
*


Now now, you know I can't do that, given my background. _

QUOTE (PsychWardMike @ Nov 28 2005, 04:55 AM)
Little bear is a fickle mistress, really.

I enjoyed the story.  Did they give you them church cookies?
*

Oh, and you love it so, PsychWardMike. *whips*

Bend over, Mistress Pain demands it.

Ooo!


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People should not be afraid of their governments, governments should be afraid of their people.
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PsychWardMike
post Nov 28 2005, 11:22 PM
Post #15


I'm attracted by the potential for reckless abuse of power.
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*bends over*

*wiggles*


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I'm just a Viewtiful Girl living in a Viewtiful World.
Henshin a-go-go, baby.

I swear to God, the above post was not intended to incite flame wars or to offend you.
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