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post Jan 27 2010, 07:29 AM
Post #1


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From: New Orleans
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Gender: Female

Hi guys.

I guess some of you already know this, but I just broke up with my boyfriend of a year and a half. We started dating when I first got to college/uni... he pounced on me the minute we met so I never got a chance to date anyone else here. Many months later, I found myself unhappy in the relationship. Although he was a really sweet guy, he has a lot of identity issues to work out and I felt extremely trapped. The break up was difficult, since we were extremely close and relied on one another for support constantly. We kind of eased out of the relationship by first going on a break until I decided to really end it.

Anyway, so where does that leave me now? I want to remain single and free of commitments, but I'm feeling super lonely... and my hormones are all over the place... I check out every guy that walks by. In retrospect I realize my sexual relationship with my ex had been pretty much non existent for the past 6-8 months, which was kind of both of our faults... but now I want to pounce on every half way attractive guy I see. It's kind of a problem.

In the past 3 weeks, I've gone out a ton, met lots of new people and kissed a couple of different guys, but it hasn't gone much further than that. I have been talking to one of them on and off for the past week or so, but I really don't feel like getting emotionally involved with him and playing the dating game is pretty annoying for me. I have a very aggressive attitude towards men and I pretty much go after what I want, so I feel like I should just call this new guy whenever I feel the need. However, I think he might have either a) given up on me due to him embarrassing himself in front of me this past weekend, b ) started developing a crush on me so he is trying to slow things down or c) doesn't want to be my 'rebound guy'.

so I guess I am just wondering what you all think of this situation... I am trying to avoid falling into a really bad cycle or completely ruining my reputation, but I am rather impatient. yes, I know you're thinking "why doesn't she just invest in a vibrator" but what i am really craving is attention from another person so that wouldn't really do the trick.

Thanks for your advice and I'm sorry for this long-winded and self-absorbed post

Love is real.
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post Feb 7 2010, 05:01 PM
Post #2

Flaps and spins on the spot

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From: At the end of the road to nowhere.....literally!
Member No.: 390
Gender: Female

Firstly sorry I haven't responded. I read this while I was out with Pat and said to him I intended to respond as I've been there. So soz smile.gif It sucks that you guys had to split but it sounds like you did the right thing however hard it was. It's never easy to see that when it's hard to break up but with hindsight I'm sure you will...sorry if that sounds patronising....just been there and know smile.gif

I know EXACTLY how you feel about being lonely and hormonal but wanting to be free and single. I've felt like that for a while. I'm loving the single lifestyle and don't want to get involved or 'settle'with someone just because I am lonely. I can't say my libido is as active as yours but I have my moments....maybe I'm just old! laugh.gif It is perfectly normal, in my opinion, to be horny when you're like this as you may associate sex with attachment and emotions as I know I do. Not sure if you do but that may be the case? unsure.gif

If you don't want to get involved with someone right now then perhaps you shouldn't which is totally easier said than done I know. Especially if you are feeling lonely. If you want an opinion then I'd give this other guy some breathing space to help both of you figure out what you need to do and avoid the whole rebound thing.

And I certainly do not think you should just go and buy a vibrator as that wouldn't solve the emotional issues which you are so clearly struggling with and for that *hugs* to you. Vibrators however are good for a quick fix but won't solve the 'emotional' side of sex which I know I crave.

Now apologies if any of that is patronising or unhelpful or both smile.gif I'm sure things will work out for the best. Take it from someone who has been there and I know you probably would just say "pfftttt" to that but hey you are allowed to feel like poop every now and then if that helps and if it doesn't "rather light a candle than complain about the dark" (i.e. do something about it) which you are by asking for help smile.gif

Hope confidentally, do valiantly, wait patiently!
Rather light a candle than complain about the dark!
Enjoy what you have and hope for what you lack
Thoughts become things, choose the good ones[/center]
[center]Carpe diem
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