Secret Santa 2010 Options

[Mata]

[SPEAKERfortheLOS...]

No. Dildo Nunchucks.

[Phyllis]

Diaper flaps!



That's the first forum-appropriate combination I found in my new book from Santa! It's a creative cursing flipbook thingy, and it's been making me giggle for the past five minutes.

It wasn't difficult to guess Santa's secret identity, thanks to the customs form. Thank you, Sarah!

[Mata]

I still don't know who was my Santa. I tried putting the name on the box into Facebook and no-one at all with that name exists on there!

[Secret Santa]

I'll never tell! Mwahaha! *ahem* I mean, ho ho ho!

Here's a tip: You won't find the name on the box on Facebook, they're too old for that sort of thing!

xo
Santa

P.S. Have you colored those beasties? I thought they were most excellent.

[TigerLily013]

I'm guessing the elves ran off and took my parcel to Honolulu lol

[Phyllis]

Bear in mind that quite a lot of Santa's helpers are in the UK, and we recently had quite a bit of snow (for here, anyway ). Everything pretty much shut down. When it did so in November, I didn't receive things I'd ordered on the 1st of December until almost Christmas. Give it a bit of time before you write it off as lost forever!

Also, I know who Mata's Santa was, but I'm not telling.

[Hobbes]

Goodness! Apart from the CHUFFING AWESOME comic-based present I received from my Secret Mata Santa (which, you obviously all saw here: http://comic.matazone.co.uk/2010/12/20/attractive-redhead/), I also received a further treat!

Weather that postmen don't like, bank holidays, being away for a few days, and off work for another couple, meant that I didn't collect this parcel the day that it arrived. But eventually this was in my grasp:



There was strange writing all over it, words that I could not understand. It was all dutch to me! With trepidation, I opened the box...



Packaging! And cardboard! And things! Some things! \o/



A pleasing festive scene, with sheep-based graffiti, providing me with a pun

But, oh, what else?!



Ooh! A package of wonder! I rip through the wrapping to find...



I see a chocolate word! Without delay, I empty the contents and see...



Hmmm... tasty goodness!



And look how gooey they are inside! And, I feel, perhaps semi alcoholic.

Oh, time for the gratuitous shot:



Thanks Mata! <3

...

...

P.S. After the several attempts at taking that final shot, I discovered that I had chocolate-goo all over my hands, and down my t-shirt, and on my jeans, which I then put straight into the washing machine. So, it seems, if you want me naked, chocolate is the way to go...

[gothictheysay]

I'm glad you enjoy it Candice I almost wanted to keep it for myself. Also, I considered leaving my name off the customs form, but figured that would be a bad idea in case it needed to be returned or something. I don't know, I thought it would get there more successfully if I stuck at least my surname on it. But of course I'd give up and tell you anyway even if it was a secret, because I'm so proud of myself for that one

I'm assuming my present is from the UK and therefore approaching slowly. It might've also been shipped to my home address over my winter break, but I haven't heard anything about a package from me at home either, so we'll see.

[Ashbless]

Thanks Santa!

My present arrived sometime but I only wander to check the mail about once a week. It's this cool card box. It looks old and will be perfect if ever I give up drug dealing to become a poker player.

Is there a story behind the gift? Is it something that caught your eye while wandering curio shops?

Thanks again person who's forum name I haven't figured out from his real name yet.

[Daria]

You won't figure it out from the name >_>
There should be a box and cards with dials on, right? It's a Bezique set only I'm crap at checking things and so it is missing the cards (which I planned on getting and sending but then I was all OH HEY MOVING HOUSE, OH HEY FRACTURED WRIST, OH HEY AT PARENTS' HAUS NAO so I never got round to sending any). You just need two packs of cards, but you don't use cards 2-6 (so just aces, kings, queens, jacks, tens, nines, eights, sevens).

Bezique is a card game for two players, very popular in the 20s and 30s and has a really weird and obscure set of rules that take a while to get used to. But when you figure out how to play it, it's great. I think the one you have is pretty old, but I can't remember how old off the top of my head.


Sorry for it being incomplete and a bit weird.

[Mata]

Technically, the wrapping paper is for Sinter Klaas (5th December) not Christmas, but it had tiny cookie versions of Zwarte Piet on the paper so I decided to use it anyway I'm glad you enjoyed them, and the chocolate porn image made me laugh.

Santa: No, I've not decorated them yet, I'm working on a full scale painting at the moment, but they're my next arty project after that. I think I'm going to try and cover them with a paisley pattern

[Secret Santa]

I'm guessing the elves ran off and took my parcel to Honolulu lol

Due to the elves failing to deliver the goods before Santa was out of the country and incommunicado your gift is actually yet to be sent. However, substitute elves have been brought in and you will definitely receive your pressies soon. Hopefully before next Christmas >.<

Many apologies for the delay,
SS x

[gothictheysay]

School says I have a package I'm driving back tomorrow, should get it tomorrow or Tuesday

[gothictheysay]

Finally gotten off my arse and trudged through the snow to find... my secret santa is Candice! (One wonders if Cath did that on purpose. ) Anyway, I have delicious food, and a hilarious book that is a collection of personal ads from the London Review of Books. I.e.: "This advert is about as close as I come to meaningful interaction with other adults. Woman, 51. Not good at parties but tremendous breasts."

Thanks Candice I'm sure hours of hilarity will ensue.


oh also, the card is beans on toast with googly eyes. ADORABLE. yeah, i might've gone for the gift first...

[Cath Sparrow]

Nope not on purpose but amused the hell out of me.

[Secret Santa]

Speaker - I've queried the elves who were tasked with your present. However they've been into the brandy beans. All the could tell me was how loved I was. Good news but not the information I was after.

Has your present arrived?

[SPEAKERfortheLOS...]

Yes it has. a while ago now... I do apologize for not posting that sooner... Slipped my mind it did... probably due to it arriving the day before my friend's wedding...

In any case, I do so appreciate the randomosity of the gifts... The top that only spins one way is definitely my favorite.

[LoLo]

I got home and in my stack of mail was my totally awesome Secret Santa gift! Thank you to my Secret Santa! I was highly amused with the note that accompanied this gift, and perhaps when I'm a bit rested I'll type it out to share the joy of the writing.

In my gift was Marmite , some fang floss (I fear Santa has heard about my dental issues) from Hoxton Street Monster Supplies, and a lovely set of goggles. I shall try the goggles on in the morning and sport a pic to be added later. For now, here's the layout.

[LoLo]

The note that accompanied my present was quite entertaining so I am going to share what it said.

My Dear Lolo,

What a year it's been! Those elves have been nothing but trouble since they unionized. I try to tell them about all the boys and girls who depend upon their hard work each year, but they refuse to listen, spouting nonsense about how I should hire more workers and reduce their hours.

Hah! I wish! The north pole's not exactly teeming with capable employees you know, why do you think I hire those bozos? And international law makes it very difficult to smuggle in small children from eastern europe these days...

Nobody thinks about how poor Santa feels when we have to sacrifice the presents of a few orphans, just to meet time constraints, or when we fix the statistics a little bit, just so we get enough children on the 'naughty' list. Christmas used to be about the presents!

After the fines this year, it was a miracle we didn't have to cancel Christmas altogether. I had planned to have everything ready by late November, but now it's looking doubtful that we'll get everything posted in time. (Oh how I wish I hadn't lost those amazing flying reindeer playing poker!)

Anyway, I hope you will excuse the lateness of my gifts this year. Mary tried to persuade me to send you the standard hamper of socks and low-cost chocolate, but of course I wasn't have any of that! I said, "Laura deserves the very best dammit!" and I went down to the factory right there and then and started making them myself!

Enclosed you will find the finest fang floss, some black goop, and some equisite goggles to help you fit in on your upcoming trip to the UK. I only hope I got the right size, as my records are slightly out of date.

Best wishes and Merry Christmas!

Santa

xxx

P.S. Ho ho ho!

And here are the pics in the goggles (they might be a little tight, but they are still awesome!)

[TigerLily013]

I got my Secret Santa parcel in the mail this afternoon Thanks again for the wooden froggy and magnet momento from India! My youngest cat Sammy is currently sitting with the wooden frog and seems to REALLY like it :3 When I get a chance, I'll post pictures!