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> The Spongebob Squarepants Drug Theory
post Sep 1 2003, 06:36 PM
Post #1

Shut up, noob!

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I have determined that SpongeBob SquarePants is all about drugs. If you can't see it (it's so obvious), here's some evidence.

SpongeBob SquarePants is on meth amphenemines. It's blatan. He's always really, really happy, energetic and, occasionally, paranoid. If he ever is in a bad mood, it's the result of a major crash. He never just gets mellow then sad. He goes from really happy to really sad or really angry. There's no middle ground.

Patrick Star is a stoner. He laughs at stupid things and eatsall the time. He's also really stupid. The THC is probably permanently in his system from his smoking so much. He must go through like a pound of weed a week.

Squidward Tenticle is on heroin. He's always down and he yells at SpongeBob for being hyped up and energetic. Also, with all of his arms, he'd have no problem shooting up.

Mr. Krab is on coke. He's really upity and notice how he's always concerned about money. Coke is expensive. He has to manage his finances carefully if he wants to sustain his habit. He's also their dealer. Notice how there are few people in The Krusty Krab. How does Mr. Krab keep his business afloat? The Krust Krab is just a front and a little extra money for Mr. Krab to cover is drug operation.

Sandy Cheeks is just an alcoholic. She ruins every episonde she's in 'cause she's always drinking. I wouldn't be suprised if she curls up with a bottle of Jack every now and again.

With every breath...and all that I am...I will make a stand...until the end.

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post Jun 24 2009, 04:26 PM
Post #2

I could have written a short novel by this point

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I dunno, I really don't remember there being that much lsd the first time... It should be something more like this.

Shaggy and Scooby are big time pot smokers. That's why they're always hungry. One time when they were really hungry, Shaggy discovered some funky looking mushrooms that just happened to be the magical kind, so they've been hooked on shrooms too since then. High dosages, because this would explain why they're always scared to enter caves and stuff. Because it isn't really a cave, no, it's the mouth opening of a huge monster, ahh!

Scooby snacks are made of heroin, which is why Shaggy and Scooby will do anything to get them. Hmm, maybe even meth, which is why Shaggy's so skinny.

Daphy is definitely on mdma. That would explain why she's always so happy. Her hubby Fred loves the lsd, so she'll occasionally candy roll (lsd + mdma).

Velma just does small hits of DMT. That's why she never appears high. Her trips are so short, she's in reality for most of the show, which is why she's usually the one to identify the baddie. While the rest of the gang stand there giggling at a 'monster', she sees him clearly, and is like "Uh, no guys, this is <name>!"

Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. And, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand. It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics: You are all stardust. You couldnít be here if stars hadnít exploded, because the elements - the carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, iron, all the things that matter for evolution and for life - werenít created at the beginning of time. They were created in the nuclear furnaces of stars, and the only way for them to get into your body is if those stars were kind enough to explode. So, forget God. The stars died so that you could be here today. ~Lawrence Krauss
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Posts in this topic
- Righteous   The Spongebob Squarepants Drug Theory   Sep 1 2003, 06:36 PM
- - leopold   QUOTE (Righteous @ Sep 1 2003, 07:36 PM)How d...   Sep 1 2003, 06:42 PM
- - Debaser   someone's spent too much timed watching cartoo...   Sep 1 2003, 06:44 PM
- - Righteous   Actually, I was sober when I came up with this, ho...   Sep 1 2003, 06:46 PM
- - Monkey the Rabid Red Rabbit   This is most interesting... It's off to the Pa...   Sep 1 2003, 06:46 PM
- - Righteous   Drugs and SpongePorn. I also think the jellyfish j...   Sep 1 2003, 06:50 PM
- - kidvicious2punk   thats gross!!   Sep 1 2003, 08:41 PM
- - Righteous   Back to the whole jellyfish jelly thing. Notice ho...   Sep 2 2003, 01:54 AM
- - MaGGoT   I agree on the whole spongebob drug thing, the bac...   Jun 19 2009, 05:32 PM
- - Yannick   Woah, talk about old thread. I miss Ri. My frie...   Jun 19 2009, 07:03 PM
- - Cath   This is definatly what you'd call a necro post...   Jun 20 2009, 11:33 AM
- - leopold   Oh, completely. I mean, Spongebob is just SOOOOOO...   Jun 22 2009, 08:55 AM
- - Aislinn Faye   ....people with kids watch it. My daughter loves ...   Jun 24 2009, 05:15 AM
|- - leopold   QUOTE (Aislinn Faye @ Jun 24 2009, 06:15 ...   Jun 26 2009, 08:35 AM
- - Yannick   Lmfao. Spongebob just got a lot cooler.. Oh, als...   Jun 24 2009, 05:39 AM
- - Daria   Hahahahaha. If they were all on acid, they would g...   Jun 24 2009, 10:00 AM
- - Mata   QUOTE Hahahahaha. If they were all on acid, they w...   Jun 24 2009, 12:39 PM
- - Yannick   I dunno, I really don't remember there being t...   Jun 24 2009, 04:26 PM
|- - Mata   QUOTE (Yannick @ Jun 24 2009, 05:26 PM) c...   Jun 25 2009, 12:44 PM
- - Daria   I see. I forgot to mention about SpongeBob- Steph...   Jun 24 2009, 07:43 PM
- - funked)out_frog   QUOTE (Daria @ Jun 24 2009, 08:43 PM) Ste...   Jun 24 2009, 08:15 PM

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