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> Women..., what the hell?
Hyperion
post Nov 12 2003, 02:50 PM
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How is it that she can take a perfectly decent day and make it so bloody awful?

I mean, we're talking again, over AIM. It's like nothing happened, like we never... were in love, you know? And she seems fine. And stuff. So I'm somewhat content with this marginal communication, because it's better than suffering in silence and worrying about her all the time. Because I still love her, you know...

I was reading her LJ, and she posted something a few weeks ago about feeling so bad about people liking her, and Chloe replied to her post by saying this -

"No one falls in love at 15, ----. It's all just infatiuation. And infatuation passes."

And Chloe should know that I loved her. I mean, she's read a lot of my writing from there.

I just can't believe that it's just an infatuation. Two years, I've been in love with her, the better part of that spent suffering from the thought that she didn't love me back.

I just can't think that that's a simple infatuation. And I can't see myself getting over this any time soon, without some real help. And... god. I don't know, it's just that my day's been ruined by this.

edit - I know. Chloe's words really made me feel like my feelings were cheapened somehow and it's really not her fault.
And Chloe is not the "her" in question. Chloe's just being a b-tch.


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the lil' pie...
post Nov 12 2003, 03:14 PM
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if you feel that it wasn't an infatuation then it probably wasn't, especially if you spent two years feeling that. and from the way you talk you want her to be happy (?) which shows you care. infatuation doesn't always breed caring.
i know it's hard to feel like you do (i just spent four weeks doing the same until my ex told me he did still care) but i hope you either feel better soon or something changes with the situation. *hugs*


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elf
post Nov 13 2003, 12:56 AM
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QUOTE
"No one falls in love at 15, ----. It's all just infatiuation. And infatuation passes."

*frowns* Now not only is that wrong, that's ageist. sleep.gif;


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Sir Psycho Sexy
post Nov 13 2003, 01:50 AM
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QUOTE (elf @ Nov 13 2003, 01:05 AM)
QUOTE
"No one falls in love at 15, ----. It's all just infatiuation. And infatuation passes."

*frowns* Now not only is that wrong, that's ageist. sleep.gif;

you're very active with this agism thing....i'm not being nasty about it, but love to the average 15 year old is different (in my view) to how love is view by someone in their late teens and i think perception of love probably changed slightly as we mature or as the feeling matures, first off is a physical attraction or infatuation then it changes to involve other things, character traits for example and i suppose it would continue to change...i wouldn't know, i havn't got that far, so as a generalisation, most 15 year olds havn't experienced love, just physical attraction and an infatuation


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Phyllis
post Nov 13 2003, 07:30 AM
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It's unfair to say that no one falls in love at 15. However, being a grownup who was a teenager not long ago...I'd have to say that SPS is probably right when he says that most 15 year olds don't really experience love in the same way as an adult or someone in their later teens would. Some do, of course. But your average 15 year old? Probably not.

That isn't to say that what most people that age experience isn't important or that it's only infatuation. It's just..different, that's all. It's not superficial. It can cause a lot of heartache. The whole focus of the relationship is just different. Most people view high school relationships as temporary. Very few people expect to meet the person they'll spend the rest of their life with in 9th grade Geometry class, I think.

But if someone feels that they are in love and are serious about someone at age 15, who is anyone to tell them that they are not? Only they can know for sure what they're feeling. I met my husband at 17...only 2 years older than you are now, Hyp, and I obviously knew that I was very much in love, in spite of what anyone said. It was rather different from the way I feel about him now...but still love, nevertheless.

Did any of that make sense? lol


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William Wallace
post Nov 13 2003, 07:51 AM
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You need to be 18 to date in my family. Allows your tool or your spam-purse to mature biggrin.gif .

Candice, you may experience some love at 15, but you need to be 21 or 19 to TRULY experience true love. rolleyes.gif


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Prince Aries
post Nov 13 2003, 07:57 AM
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Honestly, Twoo wuv is ageless. True love isn't bound by criteria. However, many a young mind has yet to mature enough mentally to grasp that concept, but it exists, very muchly so.

Hyperion, I've been where you are. And it sucks. But I love you and you deserve better then that. I really hope you find some fluffy lovey ness in your near future because girl....you DESERVE it.

And when I come to Nebraska I'll give you some Aries Lovin's! laugh.gif


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Phyllis
post Nov 13 2003, 08:07 AM
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QUOTE (William Wallace @ Nov 13 2003, 12:00 AM)
Candice, you may experience some love at 15, but you need to be 21 or 19 to TRULY experience true love. rolleyes.gif

And the excessively sarcastic are usually too busy trying to be witty to actually experience love.

rolleyes.gif indeed.

Aries explained it far better than I did. Ty for saying what I was trying to say, Aries. smile.gif


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antagony
post Nov 13 2003, 01:38 PM
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Aww... *hugs* I agree with what most people have said here so far. Most people don't fall in love that young, but it happens. It happened to me, and I felt like crap every time someone told me that it was just childish infatuation. If you love someone for that long, it's not just a crush or anything like that... unfortunately most people just don't realize it.


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Hyperion
post Nov 13 2003, 02:45 PM
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Thank you, people that didn't make me feel like crap... *glare @ William*

I just... I really do believe that I love her. And it hurts so badly every time she talks about her new girlfriend... ;_; Urgh. Anyway.

Yeah, I don't know. People don't think I'm 15 - in real life or online. So I guess I'm not the average 15-year old.

*wubs to Aries*


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elf
post Nov 13 2003, 04:02 PM
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QUOTE (candice @ Nov 13 2003, 12:16 AM)
QUOTE (William Wallace @ Nov 13 2003, 12:00 AM)
Candice, you may experience some love at 15, but you need to be 21 or 19 to TRULY experience true love. rolleyes.gif

And the excessively sarcastic are usually too busy trying to be witty to actually experience love.

rolleyes.gif indeed.

Aries explained it far better than I did. Ty for saying what I was trying to say, Aries. smile.gif

Yeah. dry.gif; Ty Aries again, but from me ^^;

Don't feel bad, Hyperion... u_u;


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Hyperion
post Nov 13 2003, 05:14 PM
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"new girlfriend" is actually a g/f of ten months. New being relative. And meaning "the one that bloody stole her"


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phoenix
post Nov 13 2003, 06:53 PM
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<hugs my e-mistress>


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Sir Psycho Sexy
post Nov 13 2003, 07:08 PM
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QUOTE (William Wallace @ Nov 13 2003, 08:00 AM)
You need to be 18 to date in my family. Allows your tool or your spam-purse to mature biggrin.gif .

Candice, you may experience some love at 15, but you need to be 21 or 19 to TRULY experience true love. rolleyes.gif

and you would know...coming from a family that set's age boundry's for dating....i see you're talking from real experience, good on you dry.gif


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Phyllis
post Nov 13 2003, 07:27 PM
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QUOTE (Hyperion @ Nov 13 2003, 06:54 AM)
I just... I really do believe that I love her. And it hurts so badly every time she talks about her new girlfriend... ;_; Urgh. Anyway.

/me hugs Hyp

If you believe that you love her, then you do. No one can say how you feel except for you.

Anyone who tries to tell you that it wasn't love just because you're 15 is obviously just bitter from never having experienced love themselves. rolleyes.gif Just ignore them. They aren't worth your time.


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William Wallace
post Nov 13 2003, 07:57 PM
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QUOTE (Sir_Psycho_Sexy @ Nov 13 2003, 07:17 PM)
QUOTE (William Wallace @ Nov 13 2003, 08:00 AM)
You need to be 18 to date in my family.  Allows your tool or your spam-purse to mature biggrin.gif .

Candice, you may experience some love at 15, but you need to be 21 or 19 to TRULY experience true love.  rolleyes.gif

and you would know...coming from a family that set's age boundry's for dating....i see you're talking from real experience, good on you dry.gif

Well, I tell you, my parent both got together at 20 and now they're still married. Which is abnormal in this society that has triple marriages. Is just goes to show that when you're mature enough to savour it, you can enjoy love better. My mum always used to say that these young kids are force-ripe(e.g. fruits that ripen before their time and taste sour). Don't you want to let yourself and your love mature, like a good wine, before letting others taste it?


Dr. Wallace


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MistressAlti
post Nov 13 2003, 08:02 PM
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QUOTE (William Wallace @ Nov 13 2003, 02:06 PM)
Don't you want to let yourself and your love mature, like a good wine, before letting others taste it?

Are you insinuating that all people on this planet "mature" at the same rate?
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Phyllis
post Nov 13 2003, 08:05 PM
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I know people that got married at 15 or 16 and were together for 75 years...until one of them passed away. And they were happier than most couples I know who get married at 25.

You cannot say that people aren't mature enough to love at 15. Some 10 year old have been through so much in their short little lives that they are more mature than some 40 year olds. Like Missy pointed out, everyone matures at a different rate.

Stop being so ridiculous. People can fall in love at 15 and that is that. For a lot of people, it is a different kind of love than when they get older, but that doesn't make it any less important. It's still love. I fail to see how you can deny that.

I don't think I'm any more capable of loving someone now than I was when I was 17...and like I said, that's when I met my husband. I just cannot doubt that I loved them then..because I did. We married young -- at 19. I'm now 21 and haven't regretted a single day of it. I obviously can't see into the future, but I doubt I will ever have cause to regret it.

You cannot see inside someone's head! You can't possibly know what they are feeling. Stop trying to demean Hyp's feelings. She posted this for support, not for people to keep shooting her down and telling her that it wasn't true love.


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William Wallace
post Nov 13 2003, 08:19 PM
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QUOTE (candice @ Nov 13 2003, 08:14 PM)
I know people that got married at 15 or 16 and were together for 75 years...until one of them passed away. And they were happier than most couples I know who get married at 25.

You cannot say that people aren't mature enough to love at 15. Some 10 year old have been through so much in their short little lives that they are more mature than some 40 year olds. Like Missy pointed out, everyone matures at a different rate.

Stop being so ridiculous. People can fall in love at 15 and that is that. For a lot of people, it is a different kind of love than when they get older, but that doesn't make it any less important. It's still love. I fail to see how you can deny that.

I don't think I'm any more capable of loving someone now than I was when I was 17...and like I said, that's when I met my husband. I just cannot doubt that I loved them then..because I did. We married young -- at 19. I'm now 21 and haven't regretted a single day of it. I obviously can't see into the future, but I doubt I will ever have cause to regret it.

You cannot see inside someone's head! You can't possibly know what they are feeling. Stop trying to demean Hyp's feelings. She posted this for support, not for people to keep shooting her down and telling her that it wasn't true love.

Ah, you might THINK you know, and that's what you might TELL yourself, but it's not what you feel. In the cases of the 15-16 marriages, those could be forced. Don't believe everything you see on the internet. If you rreally believe that you're more gullible than I would have imagined. And about the 10-year-olds, we're talking about love, not maturity. it's a- AH! Now I get it! You get attracted to one person, and you think that if you marry them, you're friends will think you're mature. BUT if you really think you love this person, you should give it a couple of years, you know? Wait until you're 16. It's only one more year.

But it's none of my bizness. go ahead. Get hitched. Enjoy yourselves. until you find out that you have to get a house, get food, get clothes, get water, get money(or else that's an instant divorce).

All I'm saying is that love comes with many responsibilities, mostly for older people. You'll find that after walking down the altar, unless you're prents are filthy rich and have a mansion, you'll be on the telly soon with your mum complaining that you're a deadbeat because you're still living in her house.


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Phyllis
post Nov 13 2003, 08:23 PM
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Uh, no. The 15-16 marriage that I knew wasn't forced. They didn't have their first kid till 10 years after they got married, so it wasn't a freaking shotgun wedding. dry.gif

And I don't THINK that I know I loved my husband when I was 17...I do know. And I'd wager that Hyp knows what she feels as well.


QUOTE
You get attracted to one person, and you think that if you marry them, you're friends will think you're mature. BUT if you really think you love this person, you should give it a couple of years, you know? Wait until you're 16. It's only one more year.


What on earth are you talking about? When did Hyp ever say anything about marriage? And how is someone who is 16 more capable of love than someone who is 15?


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phoenix
post Nov 13 2003, 08:28 PM
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love has no age restriction. its a readiness. only the person them self can decide if they are ready for love. age has nothing to do with it and it never will.


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MistressAlti
post Nov 13 2003, 08:30 PM
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QUOTE (William Wallace @ Nov 13 2003, 02:28 PM)
And about the 10-year-olds, we're talking about love, not maturity.  it's a- AH!  Now I get it!  You get attracted to one person, and you think that if you marry them, you're friends will think you're mature.  BUT if you really think you love this person, you should give it a couple of years, you know?  Wait until you're 16.  It's only one more year.

To me, "real love" means that each person cares about the well-being of the other more than themselves, that they wholeheartedly enjoy each other's company and attention. I believe that 10-year-olds can, and do, do this.

And 15-year-olds, even more so. Hyperion's feelings have no reason for doubt or condescention there.

Don't listen to people who tell you what you can and can't feel, Hyp. You and you alone know the truth.
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elf
post Nov 13 2003, 10:44 PM
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QUOTE (MistressAlti @ Nov 13 2003, 12:39 PM)
To me, "real love" means that each person cares about the well-being of the other more than themselves, that they wholeheartedly enjoy each other's company and attention. I believe that 10-year-old can, and do, do this.

Yeah... go mature-lovable 10-year-olds!

*huggles Hyp*


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William Wallace
post Nov 13 2003, 11:05 PM
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So I talked with my mum for a bit and this is what she said: If it's under 18, it's an infatutation. Never mind what they say, it's an infatutation. And IF it's true love, by the time you get to college, you'll see more women than what's good for you. And more than likely the relation ship will end. 10-Year-olds cannot grasp love. That has been made clear. They are just too young, no matter how "Mature" you think they are. And the 15-16 marriage is a once-in-a-lifetime thing. Clearly, If you can't get over your infatutaion and you've been in it for two years, go see a therapist.

Mother does indeed know best.


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Jaq
post Nov 13 2003, 11:13 PM
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QUOTE (William Wallace @ Nov 13 2003, 05:14 PM)
So I talked with my mum for a bit and this is what she said: If it's under 18, it's an infatutation. Never mind what they say, it's an infatutation. And IF it's true love, by the time you get to college, you'll see more women than what's good for you. And more than likely the relation ship will end. 10-Year-olds cannot grasp love. That has been made clear. They are just too young, no matter how "Mature" you think they are. And the 15-16 marriage is a once-in-a-lifetime thing. Clearly, If you can't get over your infatutaion and you've been in it for two years, go see a therapist.

Mother does indeed know best.

Wow. That's a great way to invalidate the feelings of your offspring. Does your mom always try to crush a person's spirit like that, WW, or is this just a special circumstance?

Love can and does exist before 18. It's not like voting. There's no legal limit on love. My two friends met when they were 16, started going out when they were 17, and now at 21, they are engaged to be married. Is this an infatuation? I sincerely doubt it...


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Everytime the blue screen went out, Stan the weatherman suffered an existential crisis.
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Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 17th October 2017 - 08:07 AM
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