 Age Difference, how much is to much |
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  Dec 9 2003, 12:32 AM
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#1
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That's 'Sir Guppy' to you  Group: New Members Posts: 6 Joined: 9-December 03 Member No.: 780  |
i'm 16 and i met this guy...he's 24 and we really like eachother and he asked me out..is 8 years way to much of an age difference?
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Dec 9 2003, 12:36 AM
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#2
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 suggestive cupcake Group: Admin Posts: 6,435 Joined: 21-April 03 From: Las Vegas, NV Member No.: 260 Gender: Female |
Is it to you?
My parents had a ten year age difference between the two of them, and it worked swimmingly for twelve years. But in the end, it's your relationship. Why bother asking other people, they have nothing to do with your life. ^.^ I'm also fairly sure there was another thread like this somewhere along the way.. -------------------- i'm like oh kimosabe, your body is my hobby    the official 'you bitch' count: a whole lot last updated 11/05 |
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Dec 9 2003, 12:39 AM
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#3
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That's 'Sir Guppy' to you Group: New Members Posts: 6 Joined: 9-December 03 Member No.: 780 |
i'm asking because i've been getting alot of crap from my friend's about this and i never thought it wsa a bad idea before..but i am under 18..isn't that illegal to go out with someone over 18 ?
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Dec 9 2003, 12:43 AM
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#4
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 ... Group: Established Members Posts: 750 Joined: 2-October 03 From: In front of a computer, duh. Member No.: 618 Gender: Male |
QUOTE (Hitchhiker @ Dec 8 2003, 04:48 PM) i'm asking because i've been getting alot of crap from my friend's about this and i never thought it wsa a bad idea before..but i am under 18..isn't that illegal to go out with someone over 18 ? Yo my knowlage, you just can't have sex with him. And this friend, does (s)he have a boy/girlfriend? |
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Dec 9 2003, 12:45 AM
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#5
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That's 'Sir Guppy' to you Group: New Members Posts: 6 Joined: 9-December 03 Member No.: 780 |
yeah she has a boyfriend, so i mean if we went out..no sex or nothing..that would be okay ? i have also been lieing to him..he thinks i am 19
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Dec 9 2003, 12:50 AM
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#6
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... Group: Established Members Posts: 750 Joined: 2-October 03 From: In front of a computer, duh. Member No.: 618 Gender: Male |
Well, if you tell him the truth about your age, then I have no problem. But if your parents are against it, then you are best off finding someone else.
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Dec 9 2003, 12:53 AM
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#7
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 salad dressing for is unsightly Group: New Members Posts: 158 Joined: 3-December 03 From: Hanford Member No.: 755 |
I usually have a "one milestone" rule. This guy and you are seperated by two milestones (legal voting age, and being able to drink, assuming we're in America). So it would be weird for me.
Also, the fact that you've already begun your relationship by lying to him is not a good sign. -------------------- I am too busy with all this dust and all these branches weighing on me
Proud member of the RPA--- saving the world,one irrelevancy at a time |
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Dec 9 2003, 01:15 AM
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#8
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 Is conformity, consumption, and obedience really that bad? Group: New Members Posts: 1,788 Joined: 10-October 03 Member No.: 644 |
QUOTE i have also been lieing to him..he thinks i am 19 I'm sorry, but that is plain stupidiity. Tell him the trusth and hope he isn't horrified. -------------------- Still around, just lurking.
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Dec 9 2003, 01:33 AM
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#9
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That's 'Sir Guppy' to you Group: New Members Posts: 6 Joined: 9-December 03 Member No.: 780 |
it's only 3 years diffrence 19..16 same thing almost..i mean i can get into bar's and stuff soo..
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Dec 9 2003, 01:37 AM
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#10
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 ever-hopeful since 2003 Group: Moderators Posts: 6,037 Joined: 27-February 03 From: Midwest US Member No.: 54 Gender: Secret |
QUOTE (Hitchhiker @ Dec 8 2003, 07:42 PM) it's only 3 years diffrence 19..16 same thing almost..i mean i can get into bar's and stuff soo.. I hate to tell you this, but the difference between most 16-year-olds and most 19-year-olds is gigantic. It's a huge leap in maturity and responsibility. Not to mention the obvious jailbait issue... Not to say that your relationship is necessarily wrong, or doomed, or any such thing, but to start out with a lie suggests that you are already on the wrong path. Relationships are built on trust and honesty. Lying about your age, especially in this situation, probably wasn't a healthy thing to do. |
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Dec 9 2003, 09:07 AM
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#11
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Has been kidnapped by gerbils and forced to post on here repeatedly Group: Validating Posts: 1,075 Joined: 13-July 03 Member No.: 451 Gender: Male |
QUOTE (Hitchhiker @ Dec 9 2003, 02:42 AM) it's only 3 years diffrence 19..16 same thing almost..i mean i can get into bar's and stuff soo.. Right now you could probably land that guy in the slammer for a long long time, just because you lied to him. You appear to have a relaxed attitude to lying, and (in my eyes only) only a passing respect for reality. yuk. poor guy. -------------------- Smileys don't mean not destuctive and not vicious
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Dec 9 2003, 09:49 AM
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#12
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 Roger Rabbit, having hit the skids, is now busking for a living. Group: Moderators Posts: 8,645 Joined: 4-March 03 From: In front of the screen Member No.: 95 Gender: Male |
QUOTE (Hitchhiker @ Dec 9 2003, 01:42 AM) it's only 3 years diffrence 19..16 same thing almost..i mean i can get into bar's and stuff soo.. Well, if I was to say I was 30 and not 33, then I'd agree it's not much of a major issue. It's a teensy lie which makes no real difference. But 19 as opposed to 16 means you're putting yourself on the wrong side of many things you can't do: - Vote - Have sex - Drink - Drive - Get a loan or mortgage - Obtain a credit card - Rent property - Marry (without parental consent) - Leave school I'm sure there's a load more (and some that don't apply in some countries), but the point is, you're saying you're of an adult age when in truth you're still classified as a minor. That is a pretty big issue. But not as big as the lie itself. As I said, if I did it it'd be no biggie cos either way I'm still a 30-summat and it changes very little. But in your case you're making out you're an adult when you aren't. Given that he's an adult by some years, he's gonna be mortified when he finds out (and he will, trust me!) Your only escape here is to tell him and hope that he takes it well. Which he most likely won't do, we guys don't like women stringing us along. You need to be more mature in relationships than you have been. Lies only undermine relationships. I suggest you learn more respect and maturity, and wait until you actually are 19 before you start dating 20-something guys. On topic, age gaps don't make a difference unless you let them. My partner is 6 years older than me, and apart from me teasing her about it occasionally, it's never discussed as we don't feel it's important. -------------------- The author of this post is entirely fictional and is intended for entertainment purposes only. The views of the author are not necessarily representative of the views of Matazone, Mata himself nor any of his assorted cronies, friends, allies, associates or hangers-on. Any resemblance to other posts, alive or dead, is purely coincidental and is not intentional. Except when that's the point of the post, in which case it is intentional and no coincidence is applied, inferred or otherwise described by another long legalese term which temporarily escapes me. No animals have been hurt in the production of this post, although I did kick the cat before I sat down at the computer. |
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Dec 9 2003, 10:11 AM
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#13
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 Took this grammar! Group: Established Members Posts: 3,246 Joined: 23-March 03 From: Saskatoon Member No.: 165 Gender: Female |
1) Lying is bad, mmkay? If you start your relationship with this guy with a lie then you've got nothing solid to build on and it's just going to go downhill from there.
2) I don't know if you've heard this but there's a rule of thumb that I think is pretty good (though a bit silly and arbitrary) You take your age divide it by two and add seven. That's the youngest aged person you can date.So 24/2 = 12 + 7 = 19. So the youngest person he should date is 19. Using that rule, you're too young. Besides, what do 16 year old and a 24 year old have in common? I'd wonder myself about his intentions. -------------------- Everytime the blue screen went out, Stan the weatherman suffered an existential crisis.
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Dec 9 2003, 12:52 PM
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#14
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 Duck Hunter S Thompson Group: Admin Posts: 3,417 Joined: 28-February 03 From: Lovely, rainy, Seattle Member No.: 71 Gender: Male |
Here's a little tale from a few years back. A friend of mine (no, really, it wasn't me) started dating this girl he'd met. I never met her, but he told me that she was 18. He was 25 at the time. So we all good-naturedly took the mickey out of him, as friends do, which he took with good grace. However a couple of weeks later, he told me over a quiet beer in the pub that he'd just found out that she was actually 16. He was horrified, and felt like 'a right dirty old man' (his words). Needless to say, they were no longer dating.
I'd have to say that if I were in the same boat, I'd feel the same way. That's not to say that your relationship is doomed to failure at all, that's just one anecdotal event in history. However, I've said it before on these forums, a good relationship is based on 3 things. Honesty, honesty and honesty. So before you go any further with this guy, I strongly suggest you come clean to him, and see where it goes from there. On a lighter note, a guy I knew a few years back was 24, and dating a 16 year old. To my knowledge, they're now happily married. So it can work. -------------------- Nearly two years in - about time for a new AV
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Dec 9 2003, 01:45 PM
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#15
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 not forgotten Group: Established Members Posts: 1,871 Joined: 24-May 03 From: Fife, Scotland Member No.: 323 Gender: Female |
ok...this is nothing at all like such a big age difference but...
i met a guy (now my boyfriend) at a gig one fateful night three months ago. he ended up coming back to my place with a bunch of other people and we spent the night together. only the next day did he realise that i was only 16 (hes 19) and that freaked him out enough. he really beat himself up about "corrupting" a younger girl and i hadnt even intentionally misled him about how old i am, i just look grownup. if this guys is any sort of decent you need to tell him how old you are and let things go from there. my friends flatmate is 24 and he dated a 16 year old until a few months ago and it didnt work too well...but thats just one example. you need to give him the chance to make up his mid though. whats gonna happen if he finds out by mistake? how is he going to feel? its not all about what you want you know... -------------------- Little solace comes to those who grieve
When thoughts keep drifting As walls keep shifting And this great blue world of ours Seems a house of leaves |
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Dec 9 2003, 09:28 PM
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#16
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 Nobody Expects - THE SPANISH INQUISITION! Group: New Members Posts: 1,289 Joined: 12-October 03 From: Kingston, MA (US) Member No.: 649 |
to be honest, i think that 16 to 24 is a little too much. just an opinion, however, since you lied about your age to him by a significant amount (it may not seem significant, i agree with leo, those make it significant) i would recommend telling him and let it go. chances are that he wont, morally and legally, be able to continue with you. you could get him serious jailtime, plus i doubt hed want his friends calling him a pedophile(sp?). im sorry, but i just dont think its appropriate. though, love does not know age. love has no concept of age. I'd recommend remaining friendsif at all possible, and if by when you ARE old enough you still love eachother then go for it.
-------------------- im now sextastically married to krys (magikeyes)! i love you so so so so soooooo much!///im engaged to liz(edward_lover)!///I LOVE YOU BOTH!!///I am Missy's slave! yay me!///Krys is my loving girlfriend...i love you infathomably with all my heart, mind, body, soul!///killersquirrel is my first noob ever ^_^///Trina(Spiffy) is me ickle sis! ^_^ /me wuvs trina///Shelly(werewolf) is my older sister! be nice! :P///I am engaged to VVes!///Mina(deaq) is me new n00bie! I LOVE YOU, MIAN!///i have three more n00bies; baldricks gherkinator. they are Jen, David, and Sebastian///Jen must be kept away from microwaves at all times. David must be kept near Jen permanently. Sebastian must not be fed peanuts...he prefers walnuts....
YAY FOR POLYGOMY! YAY FOR YOU ACTUALLY BEING BORED ENOUGH TO ENLARGE ALL OF THIS! /\_/\ (\ _ /} i would cry but my tears have been stolen (^.^ ) (='.'=) i would scream but my voice has been taken (U U ) .(")_(") thus i write. (''')(''') kitty attributed to Tigerlily PM me if you are reading ths, i have something to tell you BI PRIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! http://www.webpost.net/ac/acidteardrop/all...ebelongtous.JPG (sorry, that picture's way too big -Commie) |
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Dec 9 2003, 10:24 PM
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#17
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 I plug directly into my computer Group: Established Members Posts: 3,641 Joined: 1-March 03 Member No.: 80 Gender: Female |
I agree with what pretty much everyone else has already said. Eight years may not be that much of a difference when you are 30 and he is 38, or even when you are 24 and he is 32, but right now, it is a big difference. Plus, you've already started this relationship off with lies. That can never be a good thing. Honesty is, in my opinion, the most important thing in any relationship--whether it is a friendship or a romantic relationship. My advice would be to be honest with him, and to avoid getting involved in a romatic relationship with him.
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Dec 10 2003, 03:09 AM
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#18
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That's 'Sir Guppy' to you Group: New Members Posts: 6 Joined: 9-December 03 Member No.: 780 |
Thanx, i just told him i was 16
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Dec 10 2003, 03:20 AM
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#19
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Is conformity, consumption, and obedience really that bad? Group: New Members Posts: 1,788 Joined: 10-October 03 Member No.: 644 |
And...
WHAT HAPPENED! 
-------------------- Still around, just lurking.
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Dec 10 2003, 03:43 AM
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#20
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 Social Introvert, Sporatic Poster Group: New Members Posts: 249 Joined: 30-November 03 From: School, East Coast, Canada Member No.: 747 |
My opinion, age difference can be alright. But there is a huge gap of experience. I would say, whatever you do, just keep your pants on. Also, you probably are best not having a relationship at all if there is no honesty or trust, whether you be sixteen or thirty, that's just not cool.
But I do have a friend who could lie that she was nineteen when she was fifteen, and people, after seeing her in person believed her. Twas sad. I think you should live out your age first really. Being so young, we're quite naive. |
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