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> Jicama Needs A Letter Of Apology
Jaq
post Apr 11 2003, 10:05 PM
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Took this grammar!
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She's handing her essay in on the very last day and her prof requires a letter of apology. Yeah yea yeah, he's weird. She's not suposed to have any excuses in the letter, just basically say "I am scum, you are great" Flamboyant and over the top languages is a big plus. He has a sense of humour and she wants to exploit that to squeeze some extra marks out his wrinkled hide. Any suggestions would be muchly appreciated.

Thanks! laugh.gif


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cheese is funny
post Apr 11 2003, 10:10 PM
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dear prof. you suck, i hate you, your essay is as boring as staring at a blank wall for 12 hours while al gore talks... does that work? im not good on appologies...


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Jaq
post Apr 11 2003, 10:12 PM
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Took this grammar!
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QUOTE (cheese is funny @ Apr 11 2003, 11:10 PM)
dear prof. you suck, i hate you, your essay is as boring as staring at a blank wall for 12 hours while al gore talks... does that work? im not good on appologies...

huh.gif We're looking for more of an "I'm sorry" rnt not an "I hate you" rant. but thanks for the...ahem...sincere effort.


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Hyperion
post Apr 11 2003, 10:13 PM
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Maybe you should imply that you'd like to sleep with him, wrinkly though he may be.

His new name shalt be Professor Wrinkly. This I dub thee. *pokes him with sword, snickers*

Also, offer to buy him a hat. Or, maybe imply that you will sleep him only if he buys you a hat.

*steals hat*

*runs*

huh.gif


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LoLo
post Apr 11 2003, 10:14 PM
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Dear Prof,

I'm sorry I got this paper in so late. The topic was quite intriguing, but alas I do have some sort of life outside of school. One of the best things that occupies my time is posting on these forums that are an offshoot of this really cool website. They have the best animations ever and are created by a true genius. If you want to check it out go to www.matazone.co.uk/otherside, perhaps you could even buy a shirt!

I one day will aspire to such greatness, as in turning in my paper before the due date, but until this site becomes less interesting and awe inspiring, I will have to say that alas my papers will be turned in at the very last minute. biggrin.gif


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Jaq
post Apr 11 2003, 10:14 PM
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Took this grammar!
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...somebody likes hats...

blink.gif


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cheese is funny
post Apr 11 2003, 10:14 PM
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oh... ok... erm...

dear prof.

i love you, your as boring as staring at a blank wall for 12 hours while al gore talks... and that turns me on... that work? laugh.gif


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craziness
post Apr 11 2003, 10:18 PM
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crazi
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dear mr wrinklyman:
i am very sorry for turning in my paper so late. i worked very hard on it, but there was just so much information to learn about and write down that it took me a bit longer than expected. your classwas very interesting and you were a great teacher. i want to marry you. wrinkily old men are so damn sexy. if i sex you up under the desk in the classroom, will you give me an a?


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Jaq
post Apr 11 2003, 10:18 PM
Post #9


Took this grammar!
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QUOTE (cheese is funny @ Apr 11 2003, 11:14 PM)
oh... ok... erm...

dear prof.

i love you, your as boring as staring at a blank wall for 12 hours while al gore talks... and that turns me on... that work? laugh.gif

It's getting closer...still think it needs a tad bit of work...





Lolo - nice plug for the site...not exactly an apology though is it? Like the first line though!


She's snickering and desperately trying to work on her essay but finding this much more interesting. Keep them coming!


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LoLo
post Apr 11 2003, 10:19 PM
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Anything to plug the site.


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Jaq
post Apr 11 2003, 10:19 PM
Post #11


Took this grammar!
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Now this is just a suggestion but let's have a little more about his mental prowess then his...er...physical attractiveness?


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Hyperion
post Apr 11 2003, 10:20 PM
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Hehehe. *plops a Fedora on Jaq's head*

How about -

My Dearest Professor,
My deepest apologies for being tardy in the submission of my paper. You see, I was locked in a friend's basement with nothing more than a snake and a small rubber ducky to help me out. I escaped just hours before your class, and almost didn't finish it. Please excuse the water stains, the ducky is rather excitable.
With unending love
(insert name here)

PS - Please sleep with me. And buy me a hat. You look like Al Gore.


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Jaq
post Apr 11 2003, 10:22 PM
Post #13


Took this grammar!
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QUOTE (Hyperion @ Apr 11 2003, 11:20 PM)
Hehehe. *plops a Fedora on Jaq's head*

How about -

My Dearest Professor,
My deepest apologies for being tardy in the submission of my paper. You see, I was locked in a friend's basement with nothing more than a snake and a small rubber ducky to help me out. I escaped just hours before your class, and almost didn't finish it. Please excuse the water stains, the ducky is rather excitable.
With unending love
(insert name here)

PS - Please sleep with me. And buy me a hat. You look like Al Gore.

that's the best one yet! Personally I love it but Jicama says that they can't give excuses.


(I still think it's super great tongue.gif )


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Hyperion
post Apr 11 2003, 10:25 PM
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samazon
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Why, thank you.
biggrin.gif

No excuses? Tough luck, there. Maybe you can work in the rubber ducky, though. Gotta be creative.


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I saw you, Walt Whitman, childless, lonely old grubber, poking among the meats in the refrigerator and eyeing the grocery boys. I heard you asking questions of each: Who killed the pork chops? What price bananas? Are you my Angel? Ginsberg
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Jaq
post Apr 11 2003, 10:26 PM
Post #15


Took this grammar!
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Basically he wants to see. "You're great, I'm scum" I think he needs his ego massaged. er...that wasn't quite the word I was looking for. *blush*


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cheese is funny
post Apr 11 2003, 10:26 PM
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how about

dear prof.

you are by far the most interesting teacher ive ever wanted to have sex with, you make me speechless, you are so intelligant, and i bet your brains taste good...


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Jaq
post Apr 11 2003, 10:29 PM
Post #17


Took this grammar!
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QUOTE (cheese is funny @ Apr 11 2003, 11:26 PM)
i bet your brains taste good...

This phrase will be remembered for posterity and it has also earned a spot in the apology letter.

Congrats!


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cheese is funny
post Apr 11 2003, 10:31 PM
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cool, glad to know im not completely worthless laugh.gif


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Jaq
post Apr 11 2003, 10:32 PM
Post #19


Took this grammar!
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Cheese - Never! You're very useful and if you ever become unusable in your present form we can always dissassemble you for your parts. Or put you in another stew.


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cheese is funny
post Apr 11 2003, 10:35 PM
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I post more than I speak
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QUOTE (Jaq @ Apr 11 2003, 11:32 PM)
Cheese - Never! You're very useful and if you ever become unusable in your present form we can always dissassemble you for your parts. Or put you in another stew.

dissasseble me for parts? am i a robot? eat me again? how did i taste the first time? <while jaq is answering questions, cheese slowly walks backwards>


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ravein
post Apr 11 2003, 10:35 PM
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Many fools can now anticipate pity!
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Professor so and so,
It is in my deepest regret to turn my paper in tardy. I hope that you can find it in your heart to excuse my gross act of selfishness. It appears that I have taken my edu-ma-kat-ion lightly and I am a shame and a disgrace to the university. If this had been medieval times I should have been given 30 lashings and tied out to the whipping post for days upon end.
Once again I would hope that you find it in your heart to forgive my insolence.


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And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. -Anais Nin
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Jaq
post Apr 11 2003, 10:38 PM
Post #22


Took this grammar!
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QUOTE (ravein @ Apr 11 2003, 11:35 PM)
Professor so and so,
It is in my deepest regret to turn my paper in tardy. I hope that you can find it in your heart to excuse my gross act of selfishness. It appears that I have taken my edu-ma-kat-ion lightly and I am a shame and a disgrace to the university. If this had been medieval times I should have been given 30 lashings and tied out to the  whipping post for days upon end.
Once again I would hope that you find it in your heart to forgive my insolence.

*channeling the spirit of Jicama*

That's tasty! Way to grovel, that's what I'm looking for. (copies and pastes it into Word)
p.s. keep them coming!


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ravein
post Apr 11 2003, 10:55 PM
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My blatant disregard for the institution of learning is hideous at best. I have dishonored the sprit of scholars everywhere. I have been given the opportunity to have a learning experience and I have wasted it. I have committed the greatest act of treason buy betraying my own potential.


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Proud Cronie since Feb 26, 2003
"When women act like women, they are accused of being inferior. When women act like human beings, they are accused of behaving like men." —Simone de Beauvoir
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. -Anais Nin
No matter that patriotism is too often the refuge of scoundrels. Dissent, rebellion, and all-around hell-raising remain the true duty of patriots. -Barbara Ehrenreich

live journal
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ravein
post Apr 11 2003, 10:59 PM
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Many fools can now anticipate pity!
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****did I mention I write resumes to smile.gif****


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Proud Cronie since Feb 26, 2003
"When women act like women, they are accused of being inferior. When women act like human beings, they are accused of behaving like men." —Simone de Beauvoir
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. -Anais Nin
No matter that patriotism is too often the refuge of scoundrels. Dissent, rebellion, and all-around hell-raising remain the true duty of patriots. -Barbara Ehrenreich

live journal
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Jonman
post Apr 11 2003, 11:01 PM
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Duck Hunter S Thompson
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QUOTE (ravein @ Apr 11 2003, 11:55 PM)
My blatant disregard for the institution of learning is hideous at best. I have dishonored the sprit of scholars everywhere. I have been given the opportunity to have a learning experience and I have wasted it. I have committed the greatest act of treason buy betraying my own potential.

Dearest Professor Pantygrinder,

May I take this opportunity to point out that your excellance in the field of teaching is second to none, and I spend 97.8% of all of your lectures open mouthed and breathless with awe because of the majestic way in which you impart a tiny tiny proportion of your formiddable knowledge to us lowly students.

Having said that, I couldn't be arsed doing the assignment, you wrinkly old fool.


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