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Forever Unknown
Microwave your children
34 years old
Gender Not Set
Hampshire, UK
Born Feb-8-1983
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Music, literature, philosophy, sociology, films, stand-up comedy, Paganism, atheism, monkeys on wheels.
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Joined: 14-June 04
Profile Views: 3,641*
Last Seen: 29th May 2008 - 10:48 AM
Local Time: Oct 19 2017, 03:29 PM
1,082 posts (0 per day)
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Forever Unknown

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9 Jun 2006
This "WIN Ringtones! WIN Gift Vouchers! WIN Electronics and more!" at the top of the page is all well and good until you notice the wee Mahjong picture looks suspiciously like our anally challenged friend.

The children! Won't somebody please think of the children?!?!
4 Apr 2005
Bah.

My broadband connection keeps dropping out. Sometimes after an hour, sometimes after thirty seconds (and anywhere inbetween).

I have so far:

- Purchased new microfilters;
- Purchased a new modem cable & telephone extension lead (our puppies have a habit of chewing through them) - modem cable claiming to be "superfast".
- Deleted a sh*tload of files and stuff I didn't need.
- Run three virus checks (one saying I had 79 (!), but didn't get rid of them, one saying I had 13 and got rid of the SpyWare stuffy, one saying I had one and getting rid of it)
- Renewed my Norton Anti-Virus/Internet Security stuff at 33
- Re-installed my BT Broadband stuff

That's cost me about 65 and hours and hours of grief. I had this trouble when I first started and I know all BT will do is put me on hold for 45 minutes and then tell me it's all fine, or to plug it into the main connection (and describing it... Which happens to describe every. single. connection. in. our. house.), and saying they'll bring someone out if they have to, but at a hefty fee.

It's pretty much driven me to the point of insanity. Anything else I can do before I bite the bullet and give BT a call?
13 Dec 2004
It's not just me who's notoriously stupid, is it? (No sniggering in the back, please)

Anyhoo!

This thread has probably been made a thousand times, but it's always fun to laugh at other people's misfortune. And it makes me feel better about myself, and that's a bit fabulous.

So. The stupid things that just pop out of your mouth and leave you thinking "where in arse did that come from?". Such as the inappropriate "you too":
Waiter: "Enjoy your meal."
You: "Yeah. You too."

I habitually say goodbye before putting someone on hold.

I've managed to add an extra seven (count them! Seven! I know you won't!) syllables into 'University'. "Uni-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-versity.". The person on the other end of the line must've thought I'd suddenly been brutally attacked with a drill.

"Hello. It's X calling for Y"
"Can I ask who's calling, please?"

There's also the wonderful mixing of sentences - like a spoonerism with words."Back she'll be on Wednesday". Like Yoda without the Jedi mind trick that makes it acceptable.

There's probably a kazillion others that I just can't think of. But is it just me that does this? Enlighten me (read: "make me feel less abnormal") with your stories (read: "by taking the p*ss") of being equally as incoherent (read: "and pretending you're also a spastic").

This has been a public service announcement. Without the service. Or the announcement, really.
20 Nov 2004
I'm always anxious of making threads in the fear they'll crash and burn, but here goes...

We're getting a new puppy in a week. We're unable to think of fantabulous name for him, mainly because we got a puppy six months ago and we're all out of ideas.

Ideas have ranged from the vaguely suitable ("Olly") to the obscene ("Snatch", "Flange"). I'm pushing 'Oscar' because it's the most fabulous name for a puppy, but my step-father won't let me name it after a gay person (don't ask...)

So, ideas....?
11 Oct 2004
I can't get onto the first page of topics that are 2+ pages long. I get the top third or so, but none of the actual posts. 'Tis a little odd...
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