I Met John Kerry...

Well, you might not say that I actually met him. I was screaming angrily at him at the time, and he was trying to ignore me.

Here's the story, copied and pasted from another forum...

And no, I am not making this up.

Just ask Mr. Kerry.


This morning, I grabbed my book of train tickets, put on my black "Signs of Life" t-shirt, put my rosary in my pocket, and went to the Kerry rally at Waterfront Park in Portland, Oregon.

I stood in line for one hour. Then I stood in the sun, in my black shirt and dress shoes. It got pretty hot...

But, I was patient. Most of the crowds had left. Senator Kerry was doing a segment for ESPN. (Playing with a football...that man is SO ripping off Keneddy. If I did that in Speach class, my teacher would give me an F.) I got closer. A crowd of people had stood around, at the fence, waiting to see the senator.

It was another half-hour, but he came out of the press tents and came towards the crowd. He was ten feet away, shaking hands! I stood silently, bidding my time.

This all happened in the space of four seconds: When he was four feet away, I jumped up and shouted: "Mister John Kerry! Do you know how to use one of these?" In my hands was my beautiful Italian-made rosary, hanging over the crowd. He noticed me...and then tried to ignore me. He continued shaking hands. "Sir, I'm just curious, are you a real Catholic?" He heard me. He must of. He got rather uncomfortable for just the split of a second. However, by then, a secret service agent had come up and was coaching me off the fence.

"Um...hi?" I looked up into the reflective glasses of the secret service agent.

"You made your point." and then, silently, you could tell he was saying: Please remove yourself from the fence.

Kerry was coming closer...but then, someone tapped me one the shoulders. It was some male supporter of Kerry. "Hey...there's someone from the press who wants to talk to you." Slightly confused and slightly eager to meet the press, I decided to stop bothering Kerry and find the press guy. By the time I'd reached the back of the crowd, Kerry had gotten into his black SUV...and there was no press. Stupid lier.

As the motorcade pulled out, I ran up the yellow tape and held up the rosary. Kerry saw me again...about nine feet away, out the window of the SUV.

Now knowing that there were angry democrats and suspicious secret service agents in the area, I decided not to stick around looking for press and booted it for the nearest light-rail station.

So...I'm hoping that someone from the press saw all, or part, of that. Maybe even took a picture or got a video of it all. That would be cool.


So, now I've been advised by other online friends to call up a national talk radio show and tell them the story...get a bit of notariety and face time with a real reporter.

This Is A Nube.

Hello.

I'm a nube.

I'd like to find a master who will adopt me.

In the time honored tradition of master and apprentice, I will learn the philosophies of the world, the strategies of learning, and the laws of power.

And then, eventually...onto world domination!


By the way...I'd prefer a female goth around the age of 16.

'Bye.

World Domination

Alright...here's my plan to take over the world in X easy steps.

1: Take over the country of Russia.

2: Develop the Russian oil reserves in Siberia.

(Now, you see, Russia has lots of oil. So does the Middle East. But it is much easier to ship oil from the Persian Gulf then from Siberia. Thus, we have step 3...)

3: Nuke the Middle East.

4: I now control the world's oil supply! All nations will bow down to me!