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Barrysmith
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Joined: 5-January 15
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Last Seen: 29th January 2015 - 04:28 PM
Local Time: Oct 24 2017, 02:13 AM
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Barrysmith

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5 Jan 2015
I love my girlfriend, but ever since she told me about her childhood secret I've found it hard to cope.

We are both in our 30s, but when she was about 7 she used to hang out with an older teenager. She expressed to me that she was lonely at that time in her life and wanted to be closer to him, she had an innocent childhood crush. However, he somehow convinced her to give him oral sex in his house. It wasn't a one off either, she recalls it happening on several occasions, although she can't remember how many times. She also recalls that he would give her a fruit drink to cover up the smell afterwards, which makes me think that he ejaculated.

I know logically that she is the victim of abuse here. But the thought of her giving "regular" oral sex to a man at that age creates a nasty image in my mind. She describes the event(s) as a type of rape, but in my mind I see her going to him house to repeat the act over and over. I know I am blowing it out of proportion, but the image is awful.

To make matters worse, she loves giving me oral sex. It's as if she is addicted to it which makes it harder to let go of the images of her when she was 7.

I want to be free to love my girlfriend without these images. She's a lovely person. She's very loyal and has never slept around. She's suffered the trauma of this memory for many years. I've spoken with her about it but it's impossible to say how I really feel. She is the victim so she would (rightly) be horrified if I said that I think a 7 year old should have known better.

Should a 7 year old know better?
Am I a terrible person for questioning this?
What can I do to move on?
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18 Jan 2015 - 13:28

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Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 24th October 2017 - 02:13 AM
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