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Matazone acolyte
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23 Jun 2006
First off a massive thank you to Mata for letting me post this here.

A few friends of mine, are doing a stand up gig in London's Etcetera Theatre on the 5th and 6th of August.


They are great and emerging stand up comics, and need all the support they can to get there careers moving. You will not be disappointed as all 4 have a diffrent style. So if you like stand up and want to come along you will have a great night.

This is an oldish gig of Kevin Colemans gig, please be aware there is alot of bad lanuage, and adult humor.


The footage is kind of grainy, as it was shot on the spur of the moment.
30 Mar 2006
Ok i'm currently working towards my ECDL (European Computer Driving Licence). Going quiet well, but i need help on a modual to get me there.

What do i need you ask. Well i need someone that lives outside the UK, to send me a PM about what is it like to live where they live. As in if you live in the US where you live, what's your public transport, governor of the state, weather, job ect. Just a basic view of life where you are.

But i need your real name, and the permission to print it off and place it with the rest of my exam work.

Any help would be seriously appreciated.

Thanks in advance anyone that fancys doing it for me.

11 Jan 2006
Ok so i play WoW (World of Warcraft). There are a few movies out there, some good and some bad. But this made me laugh. Slightly adult in humour.

7 Jun 2005
Hello everyone,

How have you all been. Hope you are all well.

Been catching up and reading the forums, seeing there are a few meets being arranged. So the magic question is ..................anyone mind me showing up at one?. (i must go to one with Cath at though ......or it's not really a meet.)

Missed you.
27 Aug 2004
Another Email goodie. wink.gif

Darwin Awards

I have just got this - if its been seen before apologies

They are finally out again. It's an annual honour given to the person who
did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most
extraordinarily stupid way. Last
year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled
over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out of it. And
the nominees this year in reverse order are:

7. A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk
cheaply, because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline
with milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he vomited
into the fireplace in his house. This resulting explosion and fire burned
his house down, killing both him and his sister.

6. A 34-year-old white male found dead in the basement of his home died of
suffocation, according to police. He was approximately 6' 2" tall and
weighed 225 pounds. He was wearing a pleated skirt, white bra, black and
white saddle shoes, and a woman's wig. It appeared that he was trying to
create a schoolgirl's uniform look. He was also wearing a military gas mask
that had the filter canister removed and a rubber
hose attached in its place. The other end of the hose was connected to one
end of a hollow tube approx. 12" long and 3" in diameter. The tube's other
end was inserted into his rectum for reasons unknown, and was the cause of
his suffocation.
Police found the task of explaining the circumstances of his death to his
family very awkward.

5. Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low
altitude when another plane approached. It appears that they decided to moon
the occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own aircraft and
crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage with their pants around
their ankles.

4. A 22-year-old, Glade Drive, Reston, VA, man was found dead after he tried
to use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70 foot railroad trestle. Fairfax
County police said Eric Barcia, a fast-food worker, taped a bunch of these
straps together, wrapped one end around one foot, anchored the other end to
the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped and hit the pavement. Warren
Carmichael, a police spokesman, said investigators think Barcia was alone
because his car was found nearby. "The length of the cord that he assembled
was greater than the distance between the trestle and the ground."
Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause of death was "major trauma".

3. A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a
friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball. The
friend, no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate, was hospitalized.

2. Employees in a medium sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell of
a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building, extinguishing all
potential sources of ignition; lights, power, etc.
After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas company
were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty
navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the lights worked.
Witnesses later described the sight of one of the technicians reaching into
his pocket and retrieving an object that resembled a cigarette lighter. Upon
operation of the lighter-like object, the gas in the warehouse
exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles away. Nothing was found of
the technicians, but the lighter was virtually untouched by the explosion.
The technician suspected of causing the blast had never been thought of as
'bright' by his peers.

1. Based on a bet by the other members of his threesome, Everitt Sanchez
tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the local golf course.
Proving once again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix, Sanchez managed
to straddle the ball washer and dangle his scrotum in the machine. Much to
his dismay, one of his buddies upped the ante by spinning the crank on the
machine with Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus wedging them solidly in the
mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately
assed his threshold of pain, collapsed and tumbled from his perch.
Unfortunately for Sanchez, the height of the ball washer was more than a
foot higher off the ground than his testicles are in a normal stance, and
the scrotum was the weakest link. Sanchez's scrotum was ripped open during
the fall, and one testicle was plucked from him forever and remained in the
ball washer, while the other testicle was compressed and flattened as it was
pulled between the housing of the washer, and the rotating machinery inside.
To add insult to injury, Sanchez broke a new $300 driver that he had just
purchased from the pro shop, and was using to balance himself. Sanchez was
rushed to the hospital for surgery, and the remaining threesome were asked
to leave the course.

PS: This last one wouldn't normally count, because the idiot didn't die. But
because he cannot reproduce as a result of his qualifying act of stupidity,
we have allowed it.
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I don't know if you'll see this or not, but just wanted to say hi! I see you play WoW. I've played that! It is seriously addicting. I had to quit cold turkey. Then, I went back to it. Then, I quit again. Anyways, I hope life is going well for you! Take care of yourself!
2 Feb 2012 - 1:55


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