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The Travis
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Inside your moniter
Birthday Unknown
Movies, cards, and going PYOO PYOO
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Gender: Male
Joined: 26-November 05
Profile Views: 681*
Last Seen: 17th July 2006 - 11:09 PM
Local Time: Oct 18 2017, 06:28 AM
146 posts (0 per day)
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MSN putzytrav@hotmail.com
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The Travis

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30 Apr 2006
So I woke up this morning (15 minutes before noon is morning right?) and my room was cold.

: (

I got up and put on a sweatshirt and putted around online for a while. It had been a while since I'd been able to do so because of school and work. I got on MSN and started talking to Daria.

: )

After a few minutes the pizza I had thrown in the oven was done. Soon I was enjoying its goodness.

: )

We were making fun of things and having a good conversation when my phone rang. It was my sister. She told me that I'm going to be an uncle in December!

: )

This pleased me greatly and I smiled the smile of a happy man. Daria and I continued talking and about a half hour later, my phone rang again. I recognized the number, but I couldn't remember from where. I answered it.

Me- Hello?

Scotty- 'Sup shooter?

Me- Oh hey guy, not much. What are you up to?

Scotty- Workin'. You know you were supposed to be here at 4?

Me- ... *Expletive*.. *Expletive* *Expletive* *Expletive*!

Scotty- Haha, yeah.

Me- *Expletive* I'll be there as soon as I can.

Scotty- Heh alright man.

: (

So I rushed to work. Worked and worked. Boring and boring. And then right before I left I was lifting a box full of crap (not literally) into the compactor when my wrist gave out. Then I think it activated a bomb in my arm and I said "Ow".

: (

But now I'm home, my wrist feels a bit better, and I've had a chance to vent to you fine people. And I'm going to be an uncle.

: )

The End.
6 Mar 2006
If this is the wrong forum for this, I'm sorry. Mods feel free to move it.

Anyway, I'm doing a project for school and I need a few steps translated into a different language. Preferably Spanish or French. But the thing is I need someone who speaks it VERY fluently and won't mind my proffesor having their name and e-mail address. I swear that no one else besides my proffesor and I will see this information.

There are less than 10 steps. Edit: And I'll need you to rank the 5 lists I get from online sources in order of how good the translations are.

Help me Matazone Kenobi. You're my only hope.

18 Feb 2006
Today is a quiet day in my apartment. Nobody yelling, nobody running around, and nobody listening to loud music. Why? Because of drinking and hotpockets.

It all started last night. I was looking for food and not finding any in my room or in the fridge, I decided to explore the freezer.

"Why do we have a block of ice in a wrapper?" I asked holding the object.

"No dude" my roommate replied "that's a hotpocket."

"Is it yours?" I inquired.

"Nope." And that's how it began. I chizzled the ice off the crispy, crunchy, tender, flaky crust, and threw it in the microwave. 3 minutes later I was eating a not-so-delicious pepperoni and sausage hotpocket. If you aren't poor you probably think this is a very stupid idea, but if you're in college and you find food that hasn't been digested yet it is quite likely you will eat it.

About 15 minutes later my stomach began to tell me things. Things like: eeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrgluggle nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggguuuuuuuhhhh death. But me being the healthy young lad that I am, decided all was well. Bowling was on the agenda for the night, and my roommates were getting rather well sloshed. We got back to the apartment around 11:30 and they decided to walk to the bar at midnight. After they left my stomach sent a message to my brain, and my brain translated it as "You gunna die honky!"

I walked slowly (read as: ran like a man being attacked by missiles) to the bathroom and had my usual agreement with the toilet.

"Ok.... alright... ooo ... k... k.... (sigh)... alright."

I then vomited harder than I've ever vomited before. I saw chips of bones, a watch, and one of my legs. I don't even own a watch. I was coughing and hacking so loud that I know for a fact everyone in my building could hear me.

Afterwords I settled into bed to get some rest. 15 minutes later my roommates returned with 2 friends. So we have Roommate T, Roommate F, Friend G, and Friend S. These are the players in the shenanigans.

The four of them took off their shoes and I heard one of them rush for the bathroom. My door opened and roommate F stuck his head in. "Sorry man. I'm sorry." The door then shut and I still have no idea why he was sorry.

Roommate T emerged from the bathroom and I hear "What the f*** did you guys do to me? I'm f***ed up. Don't I look... I'm f***ed up." Apparently he and friend G had been racing up a snowhill. Friend G had fallen and roommate T fell over him, cutting his nose quite well. Blood = everywhere.

My door opened again, this time it was friend S. "Federal Beu... FBI. I'm the federal." The door closed. He opened it again and said "T spilled his open.... his nose." and then left again. I was trying to put the pieces together while listening to "YOU LOOK LIKE DUKE NUKEM!" about 7 thousand times.

Door opens. Friend S again "I got the silver" and the door closes. I hear him outside saying "I'm gunna call that girl. Shut up. I'm gunna." Short pause. "Hey is Caitlin there? I'm the girl she met at the bar. No. I'm pretty sure she didn't. No I'm pretty sure. No. No I'm pretty sure she isn't. No man I met her and he liked me and gave her his number." Apparently friend S couldn't figure out who was female, and who was male. Also, he's nearly retarded.

Meanwhile friend G has peed in the catbox and passed out on someone's bed. Roommate T has been throwing up in roommate F's garbage and roommate F passed out in a chair.

This morning they don't remember anything other than the race up the snowhill. They're all sick, I'm still sick, and the cat won't go near the litterbox. All in all, a pretty fun time.

What'd you do last night?
27 Dec 2005
Hello there fools and foolettes. Are you having problems? Got a tough question? Want to know if your bum really looks big in those pants? Well have no fear, The Travis is here. You ask 'em, and I'll answer 'em. And all answers are 100% correct, 3% of the time.

So stop reading this and ask away!
27 Nov 2005
So today I was chatting it up in IRC, enjoying my life when suddenly there was a knock at the door. Who could it be, I wondered. I backflipped away from the computer and towards the door. When I arrived, I looked through the peephole in the door. Ok, it wasn't a peephole, it was just a bullet hole in the door.

I was shocked to find that it was no one that I knew. Shocked. It was an elderly couple. "OH NOES!" I said, "They must be lost, or in grave danger. Also, they are quite old." I opened the door looked them straight in the eye and said, "Yo."

Old man- "Young man, this is not solicitation in any way. We are not trying to sell you anything. Only trying to enrich your life."

Me- "Enrich it how? Like with gold? Chocolate? Gold covered chocolate, and the chocolate is covering more gold? Explain yourself!"

Old man- "I come to help you young people, for you are heading down a road of destruction."

Me- "OHHHh like that song. "HIiiiiighway to the DANGER ZONE, DANGER ZONE!"

Old man- "What we offer is free bu-"

Me- "I'll take seven. And I'm not paying more than 20 a piece."

Old man- "What?"

Me- "..... your mother."

Old man- "This is what I was talking about. Young people today have no respect and will forever burn in the evil firey burning hellish hellfire."

Me- "Pyooo pyoooo."

Old man- "Son, you need to listen to me."

Me- "How can I listen to you if I... got your nose! Got your nose! OH! OOOOH! Got your nose."

Old man- "First of all you don't have my nose. Secondly, what does that have to doe with you listening to me?"

Me- "I'll tell you, but it's going to cost you SIXTEEN MILLION DOLLARS!"

Old man- "Go to hell."

I'm still not sure what he wanted, but he sure was neat.
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