Feyliya doesn't have a personal statement currently.
It's not junk in the trunk, it's precious cargo.
27 years old
Seattle, Washington, USA
I read. Just every now and then. Whenever I'm not actually talking to someone or on the computer. Or sleeping. I like sleeping. So I only read about...mmm...maybe 10 hours a day. Not all that much, really.
I tend to sleep during the day. Light is bad. If I stay in the sun too long I could catch on fire and burn to ash. Well, not really. I'm not really a vampire. Oh, I have something on my cheek? ::wipes away blood trickle::
And I really like horror movies. And comedy. And Anime. Labyrinth, Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail, Dogma, and The Ring are some of my favorite movies.
I like all kinds of music. The only music I've found that I don't like so far are polka, pop, and rap. Brittney Spears makes me homicidal. So do the Backstreet Boys. Right now my favorite CDs are the Queen of the Damned soundtrack, the Daredevil soundtrack, the LOTR: The Two Towers soundtrack, and this Celtic collection CD. Evanescence and The White Stripes are my favorite bands right now. ::hums:: I'm gonna fight 'em off...a seven nation army couldn't hold me back....
I also write. Poetry and stuff. I'm working on a book right now. It's going to be published. Just as soon as I get past the third chapter. And as soon as I find a publisher. Yep, should be out any day now.
Can't think of much else. I'll update if I can think of anything to add. Oh yeah, I'm Wiccan. So merry meet, everyone!
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31 May 2006
I was re-updating my webcomic bookmarks the other day and I finally gave in and started reading the Alien Dice backlogs. Now I'm hooked. The art is gorgeous, the characters are all well thought, the plot is good.... Albeit there's a couple of things that don't quite make sense, but it is still very well done.
And the love story....three years of backlogs and the main characters STILL haven't kissed. It is absolutely, exquisitely torturous. I think I might be falling in love with Lexx, just a little bit. I deffinitely know I'm head over heels for the comic itself.
So, anyone else read it? If not, we can just turn this thread into a general "talk about your favorite webcomic" place.
5 Apr 2006
Heading to a job interview in about 20 minutes. It's for a job I don't want and I'm not sure I will enjoy doing, and getting it will require 4 hours worth of bus riding every day that I work, but I really really need it so I'm still hoping to get it.
So wish me luck getting the cruddy job I don't want! Because otherwise I'm going to end up stuck moving to Atlanta (and goddess knows I won't be able to stand the South again....).
4 Apr 2006
This is just being written as a catharsis for me. No real response is necessary, so this entire thread can be completely skipped over. I just would feel better writing it all out and getting it out of my system. And yes, this is going to be a ginormous post.
Okay, so growing up I had no friends. Seriously, none. So when I finally made friends in 10th grade, those relationships meant more to me than anything in the world, and I did as much to nurture them as I could. Three people stood out most of all, who at the peak of things I considered equally to be my best friends: Brent, Jessica, and Ashley (her name has been changed). Brent and Jess are still very very close to me, and I still consider them to be the best friends I could ever have. Both have had their pains (Jess is still having some severe depression problems), but both have grown and matured as time has gone on. Ashley, on the other hand, seems to have just stagnated.
It all started very shortly after leaving high school. I went on to Clemson University, Jess went to Tri County Tech to pursue an art degree (or graphic design, or something else along those lines that she hadn't decided on yet), and Ashley went to Southern Wesleyan University to pursue....well, she couldn't decide. But her decision to go to college meant so much to her and to all of us as she was the first one in her family to ever step foot on a college campus as a student. In fact, she was one of the very few members of her family to even graduate high school. I was so proud of her; we all were, and she was proud of herself.
College was taken care of for her. She didn't have many merit-based scholarships as her grades hadn't been all that teriffic in school, but she had a good few need-based ones. Also, a relative had left her a large sum of money upon passing that was to go for her education. It was enough that she could go to any college she chose and pursue a degree and not have to pay. She was the only one of our clique who truly had the financial means to go to college and not come out debt-ridden at the end.
A semester after starting college, she dropped out of Southern Wesleyan. She said that the college was too religious (even though she was a rather religious Christian herself). Honestly, I didn't think too much of it then as I was dealing with my own problems (depression, severe illness, loneliness due to being completely cut off from all my friends due to schedule conflicts, etc....). Besides, being Pagan I understood how Southern Wesleyan might be too religious.
The next semester she enrolled in Tri County Tech and I put the episode from my mind. She said she was going to get low-level classes done there then transfer to Clemson University so that she would have a chance to get more scholarships (presuming that she had good grades in her Tech classes, that is). Understanding how she might want to hold on to some of her trust fund money beyond college, once again I thought nothing of it. It was a smart idea. I moved to Seattle confident in thinking that Ashley would finish college faster than I would, though she graduated a year later. Her future seemed secure at the time; it was Jess I was worried about (she has the worst case of clinical depression I have ever seen).
After moving to Seattle I dropped in and out of communication with Jess and Ashley and Brent. At times I didn't have internet access, at times I didn't have phone, and I'm a horrible corrispondant to boot. I just can't keep in touch with people, no matter how much I may want to. During this time, Ashley began a systematic process of turning her life from a progressive road that would lead her out of her Southern family's footsteps to a life that I cannot understand her allowing herself to choose.
First she quit Tri County Tech completely. She picked up a full-time job at the local Subway. (I suspect she did this because her mother began to run afoul of creditors again, but that's purely speculation.) She began dating a married man. She of the high moral ground and strict Baptist religion began dating a married man. A MARRIED MAN. She shrugged it off over and over when everyone tried to talk to her about it. He's a friend of her brother's, he has been separated for a year, he's saving up for a divorce.....the excuses she came up with went on and on.... She's always had poor taste in men (something I blame on her father's louse-ness and alcoholism and her mother's constant bed-hopping from one jerk to another), but this was lower than any of us ever thought she'd go. Then she moved in with him and began sleeping with him, and we all dropped it because we knew that picking at it more would make her cling to him.
So far she's been with him for over a year. They live in a run-down house owned by the mother of another friend of her brother's. They have 3 house-mates. They (meaning Ashley and her "boyfriend") are the only ones that pay rent and utilities. David (the married guy "boyfriend") is supposed to be working a fantastically high-paying factory job (really rather low-paying for a supposed career, but okay for the South, anyway), but he still doesn't have the money for a divorce (something which I'm sure is fairly cheap, considering the ammount of times Ashley's broke mother has done it). I mentioned that he's working a factory job, let me also mention that he's never taken any college coursework at all. Ashley is the only one of the two of them with a car. In fact, David doesn't even have his driver's liscence, he bums rides from everyone else. He has very low prospects and no foresight beyond working this same factory job for the rest of his life, regardless that factory jobs are migrating to China and other developing countries faster than new jobs can develop. She deserves so much better, but all she will do is whine, "but I love him...."
Ashley occasionally mumbles about going back to Tech soon and transfering to Clemson, like she had planned, but she hasn't put anything into motion. She says she wants to go on a full scholarship so she can save her trust fund money for other things. (What's she going to do with it, put a downpayment on a house she can't finish paying for with a Wal-Mart job? Pay for her "boyfriend" to finally get divorced, then pay to marry him herself? Houses and husbands and boyfriends come and go, what's more important than an education that will serve her for the rest of her life? But I digress....)
I visited home over Christmas and got to see her. I met David and was not impressed. I got to see their rented house and was even less impressed. I got to meet the roommates, meet the cat, meet the dogs (we'll get more in depth on this part in a sec)..... Plaster Ashley's mom to the couch with a doobie and the TV on and it would have been like she had never moved out.
The dogs were sweet, but one in particular made me wince hard. His name was Sunny. He was a half-blood wolf dog. I don't know where she got him, but I could see in his eyes that he wasn't getting enough attention and would probably turn destructive. Ashley works a full-time job at Wal-Mart now, plays World of Warcraft fanatically whenever her brother isn't on the account, and is constantly running around with friends. Besides, she kept him in an (estimated) 24' by 24', fenced-in, concrete slab of a back yard. Even if she was walking him morning, noon, and night and playing with him every spare moment she had, he wouldn't be getting enough exercise. He's a very big dog. Besides, wolf breeds need large territories to roam. What she was doing to him I considered animal abuse. I didn't get enough time to talk to her about it while I was there, though (my brother, who I hadn't seen in almost 10 years, was visiting with his wife and kids for Christmas, too). The topic went down my list of priorities in my mind until I almost forgot about it completely.
Then a few months later, Ashley logged into Yahoo. She immediately jumped on me for sympathy, saying that Sunny had torn up stuff in the back yard and that she and David had given him away. I, suddenly remembering the way she was keeping him, (and suddenly re-surging with quite a bit of anger), responded that it was probably better for him and that the way she had been keeping him was turning him feral. Both Jess and I had seen it in him when we visited. That, though it hurt, she wasn't best for him and hopefully he would now have a happier life. She, in turn, was defensive. She sent several messages saying that Sonny didn't have a single bad tendency in him, that she had kept a "good paying job" (Wal-Mart, let me remind you) for quite a while, had moved out "on her own" (with a married man, may I remind you), and was doing well for herself. She then childishly turned off YIM without giving me a chance to respond, or appologize, or anything.
Now, I can understand this. Giving up a pet is hard. I've done it before, and looking back I should have been more understanding to her. I regretted what I said instantly. I had been so mad at how she was dragging a dog she didn't have the means to take care of into her life and not letting him go. (Honestly, it's what her mother did with all of her children.)
I decided at that time to give her some breathing space. We both needed to calm down about the issue. I figured in about a month I'd see her online again and I would send her an IM and say I'm sorry, and everything would been fine. That's how it usually is between me and my friends; we'd argue, we'd cool, we'd appologize, we'd be better friends than ever.
Today I loaded up my email and found that an old friend from South Carolina who I hadn't talked to in a long time had discovered my MySpace account and asked to be added as a friend. Though I almost never go on MySpace, I quickly logged on to say yes. (Honestly, adding people to my friends list is just about the only time I go on MySpace. Like I said, I'm a horrible corispondant....) Then I decided to poke around my friends list and see what everyone was doing. Ashley wasn't on my friends list. I figured it was a database error and flipped over to another friends's page and accessed her page from their friends list. I checked her current front page, noticed a few new blogs, then went to read them. What I found saddened me greatly.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Current mood: infuriated
OH oh oh. Furious right now! So Sunny my puppy chewed something out in the yard, and the phone messed up, so Brandon suggested we give him to someone else. We gave him to David's friend, and he's happy so I'm happy but I miss him. WELL. I mentioned it to Christie, and got this Feyliya (last name deleted) (2/9/2006 12:51:16 AM): hon, both Jess and I could see it in his eyes when we met him (that he was going feral or some shit.) soon he would have been nipping people to get their attention, digging or jumping his way out of the fence, attacking strangers, barking, causing general destruction in the neighborhood....I know you love him but you weren't best for him ( Excuse me, you've never owned a big dog in your life how would you know, and he was fine never barked or growled in his life!) Feyliya (last name deleted) (2/9/2006 12:52:42 AM): you just need to grow up enough to see it; sometimes what's best for someone isn't what you can give them.
Do what? SO! that made me mad So I replied. Ashley (name changed and last name deleted) (2/9/2006 9:59:12 AM): grow up? You know what? Just because I act silly sometimes does in no way mean I'm immature. I have kept a steady job at subway for nine months, found something better and have kept it three with no end in sight, i live on my own and own my own car that I bought with my own money. I think I'm damned doing well for myself.
She has done none of this. She's picked at me since high school implying that I'm just dumb little airheaded Ashley (name changed). Well news, I never was....wow, I feel betternow!
Right about that time I realized that she had probably deleted me off of her friends list of her own volition. That she was tossing out our almost 6-year friendship (wherein we had each considered each other best friends) for it. And not only that, but that she hadn't grown up in the slightest since high school.
By the way, I may have never owned a big dog but I know quite a bit about keeping them. My godfather had a giant Australian Sheep Dog that I helped take care of when I was younger. (Yes, I know that breed is supposed to be small....this dog was deffinitely a genetic anomaly.) I also spent most of my youthful time, from the time I was able to read on, studying animals in the hopes of some day becoming a Veterinarian. I know quite a bit about many, many different kinds of animals and their care, though I may never have owned one (nor seen one, in some cases) in my life. Also, I have never been anything less than supportive of Ashley the entire time I have known her. We've teased each other, yes, but I've never implied anything nasty about her nor "picked at" her.
To me, growing up has been about learning to admit your faults, and to live with them, and to work on them, and to not drag anyone along with you while you do it. To admit and learn from your mistakes. But since graduation, she hasn't done any of this. No, this isn't the only thing that's made me realize this, but this post is long enough without me going into any more detail of the things she's done to make me come to this conclusion. And it isn't just me that's come to this conclusion, Jess reached it even before I did (though she is still stepping carefully around Ashley to try and keep the relationship alive).
It saddens me that it's come to this. An end of an era, you could say. And honestly, I don't know if it's even worth appologizing, or attempting to make contact, or doing anything to try to salvage any part of the relationship. She's always been a flake (much though she'll deny it). She always forgets planned events with friends (many's the time when I've shown up at her house to pick her up for something we'd been planning for months only to find that she'd left with another friend to do something else an hour ago). She's never there for anyone when they need her. She is an even worse correspondant than I am (in fact, even though she lives in the same town as Jess she never calls or visits or makes any overtures to her). Jess and I have mutually come to the conclusion that she has a sort of tunnel vision and that she doesn't even remember people exist if they're not right there in front of her.
But still, she was a best friend for so long, and a friend when I had none. Even if we appologize and become friends again after this, she'll never rank as my best friend again (not without some serious self-realization on her part, anyway). The end of that hurts badly, more than I can convey in words.
8 Sep 2005
My roommate has ruined my darling wok, so now I need to buy another. I just have no clue of a reputable brand that makes ones as good as the one I just lost (the makers of mine discontinued it a couple of months after I bought it). I would especially prefer it if the thing is built to last for an eternity. Price is also a large factor. So.....can anyone help me here?
Kisah, I don't suppose you'd have a name to pull out of your hat?
18 Aug 2005
I tried bumping an old thread, but I couldn't find any that weren't partially chewed by the Board Gnome, so I guess it's time for a new one!
Ever since I joined whenever a picture thread has been posted I've complained about not having any good pictures to post and promised to post one whenever one was taken that wasn't completely awful. Well, the time has come for me to pony up. A friend of Randy's managed to take a very nice picture of me and him standing underneath a totem pole directly below the Space Needle.
So, without further ado, here it is!
Please excuse the size. Every time I tried to shrink it down the picture came out looking nasty, so I decided it was better to just leave it as is.
Also, for the heck of it, here's a pic of me from when I was about seven.
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