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Has been kidnapped by gerbils and forced to post on here repeatedly
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My Content
25 May 2005
Quite honestly I was considering putting this in the "Issues" forum, considering the potential impact on peoples lives that this small work-around could have, and the impact that NOT having this workaround does have ...

But at the end of the day it's just net-spam ...

The revolution starts here:

Memo To All Staff From Tech Support

Management has determined that there is no longer any need for network or software applications support. The goal is to remove all computers from the desktop by Dec. 31, 2005.

Instead, everyone will be provided with an Etch-A-Sketch. There are many sound reasons for doing this:

1. No OS problems.
2. No technical glitches keeping work from being done.
3. No more wasted time reading and writing emails.

Frequently Asked Questions for Etch-A-Sketch Technical Support

Q. My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the screen.
A. Pick it up and shake it.

Q. How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
A. Pick it up and shake it.

Q. What's the shortcut for Undo?
A. Pick it up and shake it.

Q. How do I create a New Document window?
A. Pick it up and shake it.

Q. How do I set the background and foreground to the same color?
A. Pick it up and shake it.

Q. What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch?
A. Pick it up and shake it.

Q. How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
A. Pick it up and shake it.

Q. How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document?
A. Don't shake it.
20 Apr 2005
Dear forumites,

Once more it is an honour to join together with you all to celebrate a LIFE SHATTERING step forward in the life of a simple forumite. Having partaken in such moments as marriage, fatherhood, the invention of the "Euro-saver" in european McDogs, and witnessing the arrival and dear demise of more banned forumites than I would care to shake a stick at, it is my pleasure and privelege to share with you MY 1000th POST!

Yes, people ... one thousand whole posts, all of them within the confines of these here boards. You may now reset all targets for the next quantum leap in post accountancy.

4 Nov 2004
One rule: not emo ... here we dont wanna here your baby left you ... we want to hear the political voice of our song-makers ...

To start off, a Joe Jackson tune about nationalistic divisions, where we come from, and maybe where we're going:

Joe Jackson - Forty Years

Here in Berlin - people line up to get in
To wait for the end - living in glorious sin
They've looked around - and now there is no looking back
To when rivers ran red - now it's the sky that grows black
Shadows are cast as two giants roam over the earth
We light a match - but what is that little flame worth

Once allies danced and sang
But it was forty years ago

Here in D.C. - they talk about 'Euro-disease'
And how the French are always so damn hard to please
otions are passed in Brussels but no one agrees
And no one walks tall - but no-one gets down on their knees

Once allies laughed and drank
But it was forty years ago

Where I come from
They don't like Americans much
They think they're so loud, so tasteless, and so out of touch
Stiff upper lips are curled into permanent sneers
Awaiting the next forty years

Once allies cried and cheered
But it was forty years ago
1 Oct 2004
This is an old one. It landed as a spam in my inbox about 2 or 3 years back.
The point is explained briefly at the beginning of the page. Pop-up blockers at the ready ...


This story did indeed reach more people than the product campaign did. I was working in an advertising agency at the time, and this was considered one of the best anti-campaigns seen in a long while. I'm posting it again, cos why let sleeping dogs lie when you can let the cat out of the bag?
28 Sep 2004
We have a friend. A family friend (hence 'we'). She has what you might call a really nice body. However, she ALWAYS sleeps with a bra on. Always. She is only braless for showers, and I presume sex, though I dont know and I'm not asking.

She does this, it seems, because she thinks that if she doesnt, her breast will sag. Now my breasts are man-breasts, and if they start sagging, well ... no bra is going to fix it .. a gymn maybe ... But I would have thought that it would work the other way round?

GIRLS, do you sleep with your bras on?

(edited cos stairmasters dont do tits)
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