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Vive y Deja Vivir
28 years old
Gender Not Set
Baltimore, Maryland. Blieve, hon.
Born Aug-23-1989
Gardening, reading, writing, altering my state of mind, art, poetry, Walt Whitman, sleeping one on top of each other like puppies in a dank but super home-y basement (Love ya Lisey!), takin' care of animals, "hippy" music, writing obnoxiously long posts, House (my guilty pleasure) and finally KNITTING LIKE THE RENT IS DUE TOMORROW!
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Gender: Female
Joined: 24-October 03
Profile Views: 4,598*
Last Seen: 14th April 2013 - 04:38 AM
Local Time: Oct 22 2017, 09:34 PM
549 posts (0 per day)
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AIM roseconsumption
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MSN roseconsumption@hotmail.com
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5 Jun 2006
A few years ago, my mother me gave an old laptop from her work, where she was constantly dumped with old machinery. It's a Magitronic, weighs about 15 pounds (maybe an exaggeration) and I've had nothing but problems with it. I only used it as a typewriter, really, and isn't more useful than that, but in its defense, I have to say it was a little trooper; when it's screen conked out, I put a clip on the side and it was fixed at the despense of most of its color. When it overheated (which only took about 5 minutes) I let it cool off. It didn't work with floppys and I couldn't listen to music because the speakers didn't work, but game disks did. Another big problem was that the battery would only charge to 50% and that 50% lasted maybe 4-5 minutes if I was lucky.

Still, I dutifully wrote every night on that little machine until one day the power cord refused to be jiggled into commission (a huge problem I'd been having). I determined that not only was the little plug that went into the back loose, but the small cord that went into the transformer was still attached, but something wasn't connecting in the little box. If I put an incredible amount of pressure on the little cord and twisted it just so, it worked, but when I went to go get something to keep it in that position, I couldn't get it back the way it was.

One may sneeze at the problem I'm having, and normally I would too, but years of writing was on that computer! I actually cried. With the battery power left, I would be able to save everything to a floppy and transfer it, but that's not an option, and I think going on the internet would take every last ounce of strength the poor thing has in it. It's so old that taking out the harddrive and putting it into a working machine may not be possible, either.

I have a few questions: If I bought another battery would it have enough time on it to email my work to myself, or would buying another power chord be the best option? Is there any other way any of you could see to fix my poor lappy? I've looked on Ebay, and they've got a few super cheap Magitronics... could I transfer the hard drive and how difficult would that be if I were to try that with another, older machine?

I'm shooting for the battery idea, but I don't know the availability of my model and if they come charged. I'm pretty sure Magitronic is out of business, and I swear mine has to be one of the first laptops ever made.
Someone help me sad.gif
16 Jul 2005
Forgive Me

Your curious brown eyes
and wet, puckered lips
Like his
They sing for love.

Under my nose, against
my cheek, your warmth
You're light so soft.
And to kiss her head,
her strawberry silk,
I know motherhood;
life for another.

Delicacy, drink;
Take from me,
through my shame
my guilt, unworthy.
These tears, my love, are bitter
Fear and despair--
You must know why
(these tears, they won't ever go away)
And will you forgive me when you can?

A first draft, but I sort of like it.
15 Apr 2005
My aunt's been a heroin addict for a while now, I'm not sure how long, maybe 5 or 6 years on and off? It's family secret hush-hush, so I don't know exactly. She's been in rehab an awful lot, and whenever she needs help, money, a place to stay, our family has been very supportive toward her.

Recently she went back to rehab, but our family was sort of fed up with her always screwing up and taking us for granted, so we sent her to a halfway house. There she was doing great, she was clean and met other people who she'd be able to get some support from when she was released.

She went on a date with one of the alcoholics from the halfway house, but never came back. As in, for the last 12 days no one's known where she is. We tried to file a missing person's report, but the halfway house was responsible for that, and never even contaced the police. She never came back for her things, she hasn't called. This may not seem like a big deal, but this girl calls no matter what kind of trouble she's in, no matter her circumstances. She ALWAYS finds a way to contact us. But we haven't heard a word from her, and the halfway house isn't giving us any answers at all. I understand that their reputation is on the line, but this is our FLESH AND BLOOD and they won't even lift a finger.

We're afraid she's dead, just another one of the many murders that will happen in Baltimore this year. Or maybe she overdosed. Or maybe her old boyfriend has her. Or maybe god-knows-what! If she'd decided to run off to California and shoot dope all day long, she still would've called us so we'd know she was okay.

I'm so worried, and I've been thinking about it all day. I don't know what to do, but it doesn't seem like a lot I CAN do.
14 Apr 2005
I dunno, I try to be a poet, sometimes it works, other times it doesn't. Go ahead, tear me a new hole, everyone:


Win me over, clever lies
Make me believe it's real
I'll be there at the end of the night.

Resurrect like the Holy Son
My dead body waste
I'll be there at the end of the night.

Your calculated kind words and silver promises plagued with tarnish
Blind my senses so
I'll be there at the end of the night.

Marionette, I have a painted smile
Knot my strings, lock me in the dark again
I'll be there at the end of the night.

Cripple me with fear
Starve me with my own barren spine
I'll be there at the end of the night.

Inside. Always inside.
My soul sucked swollen my rotted lips.
You and I both know
I'll be there at the end of the night.
21 Nov 2004
It's exceedingly unsafe to have a diary in my house, and I can't write one on the web, but I feel like I need to write something about... things before I explode.

I'm starting to seriously doubt my potential as a person and a student, and the worth of education. I've always been one to stand up for schooling and education while others complained about it. More than that, I've always strived to be a good student, no matter what else was happening in my life, because I thought that sort of thing was important, while, again, others complained about it. For 10 long years of my life, I've excelled and pushed my limits, really, to impress my parents and if anything, to make things a little smoother at home. I've never questioned it, I've never looked out of that box.

But Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday of this week I skipped school, and upon coming back (on Friday) I had a totally new outlook on life and what the hell I was doing with it. The 3 days I skipped (I've been skipping an awful lot lately, but only single days, never 3 in a row) too much happened to mention, and I will only say that there was a lot of pot, a lot of mooning and flashing, and a lot of Taco Bell. On Friday, I had to go to school completely burnt out of my mind (anyone who's ever been a pothead knows what I'm talking about) and bombarded with 3 days of missed school work.

In my tired haze I looked around my halls and in my classes, and saw kids that come to school every day. They do their work everyday. Not too long ago I used to be like that but now I don't understand it at all. Hell, I never want to go back to school again! What a complete waste of time. I could be out doing whatever the hell I want with whoever the hell I want, but instead I force myself to sit through 6 hours of mind numbingly boring and useless crap that the Baltimore County Board of Education finds important?! WHAT AM I DOING?! I must be insane. And all those kids that come to school everyday and never question it must be insane too.

But then again, I know that going to college it probably important, in order to get a job that supports me. On the other hand, tons of people drop out, get their GED later and lead happy lives. But would doing that make me just like the slackers in my life that seem so grotesque to me in their arrogance and lathargy? Would dropping out, or just finishing high school with a 2.0 GPA make me happy if I could still support myself? Would going to college make me happy? And in the mean time, why the f*** should I go to school? I'm not afraid to just leave until they call my parents.

I'm very confused as to what I should do and what would make me happy. Unfortunately, every single one of my friends looks at me like I'm crazy when I mention dropping out, because "You're so smart! You can't drop out! You're the only one of us that stands a chance, dammit!" They're allowed to feel like I do right now, but because I'm smart I can't? That hardly seems fair. Though, I do feel much better that I was able to let all this out.
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