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Usurper MrTeapot
Samauri Teapain
30 years old
Gender Not Set
In a Cardboard box under my bed.
Born Aug-14-1987
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Joined: 3-January 04
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Last Seen: 12th February 2012 - 10:15 PM
Local Time: Oct 22 2017, 12:08 PM
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Usurper MrTeapot

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28 Nov 2011
So I decided to scrap the battle of the moderators and went straight to the source and challenged Matazone himself...in his own town!

First off, we had a pairs battle with SingStar. Although Sony had other plans with regards to the choice of songs, we duelled (foured?) with what we could. Pulp, Evanessence, Kate Bush, Franz Ferdinand...all the greats.

Unfortunately, for you humble narrator at least, the battle was convincingly won by the present Autocrat and the Usurper was seen off, partly due to a difference of vocal chords (and the fact that Mata cheated by knowing the songs). I am sure that if we had gone on past 3am then Master Teapot would be victorious.

1 - 0 to Mata.

The deciding battle was supposed to be a civilised pint. Which soon devolved into an arm wrestling competition, the results of which I have provided in .gif form.

Victory for the Teapot.

For those of you who are crying right now, I implore you to check out the Frog's attempt, note the distress Mata put her through to show how difficult my victory was won. (we also won't mention it would have been a stalemate unless Mata graciously conceeded - shhh!).

So. Don't think the forums are safe yet.
18 Oct 2011
The gear MrTeapot is crouching on begins to move, in short sharp jolts the cog lurches forward and down as each tooth gets slowly swallowed up in the system. There is a platform somewhere ahead.

A quick leap from the crouch and into the air, his fingers just grasp the brass platform, so polished it almost slips from his grasp. He pulls himself up, swinging his legs awkwardly onto the shelf. From here he can get a good look.

The machine has a rhythm which builds as each new tick and click stack upon each other, broken by swooshes of pendulums or ringing of bells both shrill and booming. Every so often there was an ear piercing shriek as part of the sentient machine caught part of itself within some of the mechanisms and are crunched out of existence.

Above where MrTeapot now is the viewing area, a bullet-proof, bomb-proof, everything-so-don't-even-try-proof perspex sky room, kitted out with TVs and inside-the-machine cameras where viewers can control.

Damn, it looks sweet up there. They even seem to have a buffet. Plug in an xbox into that and we've got a good ... oh wait, back to the task at hand.

MrTeapot scanned the cogs, squinting. Was that shadow him? It must be.


I challenge you to a fight! Do you accept?
14 Oct 2011
First post since June in the Issues forum; some responsibility here, sir, don't mess it up. *gulp*

Firstly, I worry sometimes that I am an anti-semite (also homophobic, occasionally racist against any non-white person, sexist, ageist, anti-American, anti-anyone-outside-of-my-local-postcode etc - but I think this might be normal and I want to focus of Jewish people today Mr Psychiatrist).

I like to think that having a Jewish girlfriend (brought out my 'some of my best friends are black' card early here) gives me the opportunity to encounter Jewish stereotypes often, not only is she proud of her background - even if you ask her to say something in Hebrew, which she will umm and ahh about as if attempting to recall some GCSE level French - but I have occasionally dipped my toe in her family matters such as her two cousins' bat mitzvahs, hanging out with her younger cousins on the other side and even meeting her parents at least twice (*gasp*).

And there are a lot of true stereotypes that I can see...y'know, from them. Those family, members. Them Jews. I mean, no, erm. I'm not a racist.

For example, after the second bat mitzvah we went back and had tea and I spent a lot of time with the adult conversation, whereas I'm more comfortable hanging out with the children usually. Oh, great, another creepy sentence. So back on track, I was talking to the adults, and I asked them what they do, as you do in polite conversations.

It went like this:

"Hi, I'm an accountant."
"I'm also an accountant."
"No, I'm not an accountant, I'm actually a lawyer."
"Really, you're a lawyer, Tim's a lawyer, aren't you, Tim?"

"And what about you, you're not a lawyer or an accountant are you?"
"No, thankfully *laughs* but I do work in a law library..."

True story. Although one was a sculptor too. He sculpted bums. I genuinely want to see one, not a joke, he impressed me by talking about his bums.

It could be that that side of the family is just that way inclined, most of them enjoy maths, computers and have long conversations about history so of course those career paths are common options. I think that's awesome and I'm happy to talk to them about it, apart from maths...urgh. But if I just say what they do and the fact that they are Jewish makes it an obvious stereotype. There are some members of the same branch of family who are not at all really religious and care more about their hair length and climbing rocks in China - they were not at this bat mitzvah so we're included in the story.

There are other examples, some I'm not too happy about and are a bit hard to talk about.

1) Because money is one of them, but I am staying away from this one as I can't speak on behalf of my girlfriend here and my opinion is the fact that she is cheap is just who she is and is a comic element in our life together, although in equal measures annoying.

2) Anyone who knows the Big Bang Theory won't be able to tell me what Howard's mum looks like, perhaps not without picturing a Jewish stereotype in their mind's eye. The stereotype I'm going here might not be so obvious unless you have experienced it, (or unless you are from New York maybe? Am I being racist to New Yorkers now?) and I am talking about the shouting through walls, over floors, through doors, generally shouting to each other and expecting a shouted response back.

In my experiences of it, with several people, there are some who don't know that it is an ineffectual way to communicate (putting it as simply and delicately as I can) and others who recognise it but do it anyway (either accidentally or without care) and those who don't do it at all, which might seem to remove them from the equation but I am including them as they presumably experience it more often (a sibling or spouse opposed to me being not of the family) and have numbed themselves to this way of communicating. It's caused me discomfort in peoples' homes and issues within my own household. As it is a negative stereotype I prefer to place it on the cultural entity which is 'Jewish' in order to detract it from the people themselves. Unlike the example of chosen career paths, I would like to put some distance between the person I interact with and the negativity I find myself to experience. That I think is where some of the racism bit comes in.


Now I am going to go to an example from today.

I am at work. So put me in a professional customer service based position where a man in his 40's would like to have an item printed. He has sent the file to the printer and has come to collect those two pages.

He expects them to be free as he remembers college being free and it is a similar operation he hopes I can perform. I remind him that we have a very low price considering the area and offer up our benefits over local competition. He suggests that if he gives me some paper, which he assumes is where the cost is coming from, then I could give him his two pages (12p RRP) for free. I explain that is the ink that is the bulk of the cost and he would still have to pay the whole sum.

Right. So do you think you know where I'm going with this? Do you? Seeing as I've opened up something (I really have no clue what this is - I'm not an Issue's man really) to do with stereotypes and racism towards a particular ethnic group/religion?

Actually. He started it. Ta da!

"What do you mean I still have to pay, why are you being so Jewish?"

That second a lot of things went through my mind. The times I spent in college making pseudo anti-semetic statements to mock the racist attitudes of those around me, making similar anti-semetic statements to my uncle in Jerusalem after we watched Borat and falling about laughing. Later having non-comical anti-semetic arguments when Palestine inevitably came up. Mocking the stereotypes of my girlfriend (see above). I realised I could be a bad person.

Hopefully, my saving grace is that I tried to counter this when it happened.

The first thing I said is "I don't understand what you mean" (I did lie earlier when I said 'that second' as it probably took the duration of this sentence to formulate).

When he said it again, with anger, not comedy did I realise the full extent of what he was implying. I believe that he was making a clear connection between someone being cheap and people of the Jewish faith/ethnicity (I think BBC confirmed it is a culture not a religion, but meh, who's hashem then? That's what I say BBC.) and that we do not tolerate. That is something for TV, Films and any other media except real life. No, sir, I cannot handle that.

(Actually now that I think of it, I do have a bit of a big nose, maybe he meant that I was Jewish, who knows...?)

So here's the kicker. I am in this 'professional environment', I am in this zone of servitude where my mind is talking in my vernacular but my voice is oh so professional. I can't just switch to f'in and blindin' at him, telling him to get teh f'ork and whatnot. I'd never be able to justify that, I came pretty close with the word retard once and that I'm not getting into that kind of trouble again.

Also, there is no one around me. That seems like an opening to say what I want to him without repercussions, but I am in polite mode. I feel I can only flash him angry eyes and firmly say that I do not understand as that is not how I think, get his blasted 12p and make sure he leaves.

I wanted to say something, I had all his pent up aggression afterwards that I would kill for the opportunity to unleash, but without someone else being there (a reader as a witness or another staff member to back me up afterwards), if I had said anything more angry to him then I would have led to a confrontation of some kind that wouldn't have done me any favours.

That was hate speech, as clear as I could ever experience is. The question I guess I've come to on this ramble is how do I react in the workplace? Am I even allowed to be offended by that seeing as I'm such a flaming racist myself?


Postscript: When I was thinking this over later, someone was sing a Steps lyric, I can't remember what now, but it was strangely appropriate. Bonus Bananas if you can correctly identify it. Thanks for reading btw.
29 Sep 2011

I want to know who is here.

Checking in: MrTeapot.

Anyone else?
12 Oct 2009
Hey guys, I know its early but I have just been reminded about it.


I'm sure everyone is in for it this year. Now I've graduated I've not got an excuse, and nor do I want one. I'm so psyched for it already I could eat my underpants.

Who's with me?

QUOTE (CommieBastard)
National Novel Writing Month, for those of you who are unfamiliar with it, is an event in November where the participants try to write a novel of at least 50,000 words in a month, beginning midnight November 1st and ending midnight December 1st. Its main purpose as I see it is to combat that tendency of people to want to write a novel "one day", and then endlessly put off that day because "there's never enough time". NaNoWriMo forces you to put the words down on paper, which is the most important thing. It's also a great deal of fun.
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