is it worth it

god i feel so dam lonely at the mo

i am in a relationship with a fela and have been for a year now when we got together things were unreal he was attentive soft caring loving and open and honest we talked about everything and never hid a thing

i moved away from the life i had built and moved down to where he is based as he is in the army he leaves this year as his 22 years is up

over the last 4 months i have found out he has been lieing to me about emails that he has had and been sending to his ex who is a druggie

and he has been on dating sites

his moods have changed and he hides so much now if i ask what he is upto he gets his back up and makes out everything is me and my doing even when i caught him out lieing he still was making out that i was in the wrong and having a go at me for looking at his phone

the only reason i picked up his phone and went onto emails was we have the same phone and i didnt stop and look which one it was as i was dealing with kids and phone calls and every day life just wanted to cheack my emails thats all and found that he had been talking to his ex again

everything seems to be what he wants when he wants it and even when he asks me what i want he just over rides it to get what he wants

i feel so betrayed and lonely and feel that our foundation to our realationship was all lies and promises that he has completly shattered

everything he said he wanted he has changed his mind and it all has to be his way now

sorry for the rant just i have no family and nobody to talk to about this and it is breaking my heart
that everything i want and dreamed of is gone